In the Cold Light of the Morning
by drollicpixie
Summary: A story in which Bella Swan is already a vampire when she meets Edward Cullen. M for future chapters. AU.
1. Sleeping With Ghosts

Chapter 1 - Sleeping With Ghosts

The reindeer's blood was hot as it coursed down my throat but it did nothing to appease the hunger that had welled deep within me. Liquid filled my stomach so that I felt bloated and disgusting, but not satisfied. I cleaned the last traces of animal from my lips, my tongue catching the few remaining drops of blood there. Herd animals tasted muddy, like dirt and in my opinion were wholly unappetizing, though essential to survival.

The first time I visited Siberia, a dozen years ago, the animals, both predator and prey had packed the landscape so densely I wondered how so many could survive. Perhaps, I thought, they were lucky that I could cull their numbers, so to speak. This time though I followed the scent of beasts across the steadily melting permafrost and marveled at the vast emptiness. The animals were scattered far and wide across the terrain, over hunted or driven away to make grazing lands available. Many of the large predators who I had once preyed upon so greedily had seemingly vanished. I had seen only one wolf during these last few days and could not or would not take it's life. My hunger was at that time still manageable. Now what I wouldn't give to cross paths with a bear or a tiger. The ones left were probably hunkered down, sleeping their way through the never ending darkness, staying warm against the arctic chill.

At that time of year, autumn, Siberia lived under a near constant blanket of night. Five million square miles of dark solitude. I had wandered from the Arctic Circle across miles of the frozen country to see the Caspian again. There was a camp, near the sea, of nomadic people. I had smelled them, the fragrant blood that flowed through their veins was more potent than a Siberian tiger, but the risk of joining them was too great. I had abandoned myself among the mountains, pine forests, and ice damns. I did not deserve the company of human beings. That was why I had gone there, swam across the Bering Strait, and away from the meager home I had created for myself in the Yukon Territory of Canada.

Months ago I slipped. It had been so long since I had hunted, so wrapped up in learning both the Russian language while simultaneously trying to devour every notable work of fiction written there since the time of Peter the Great. Near starving and barely able to walk for the thirst burning my throat, I had crossed the scent of a man, which normally I would have passed and continued my fed elsewhere but my desperate mouth filled with venom and overwhelmed my other faculties. Unable to control myself around the tantalizing aroma I had weakly given into my cravings, tearing the man's neck away from his shoulders in my intoxicated frenzy. The guilt of that moment still ripples through me today. Months alone in self induced isolation and I wondered if I was fit enough to return to mankind. To culture and light and the happy sounds that humans make as they go about their busy, finite lives.

Prior to him, I never knew his name, I had not killed another person for eight years. His face, like that of the man before him, with their ghostly frozen eyes, will haunt me for the rest of my unending existence. This man had been dumped unceremoniously into a hole carved by my hands, six feet deep, and covered over again. I said no prayers. How could I have the right to speak them?

At the time I wondered if he still followed leads regarding strange deaths. Animal attacks, horrendous accidents, unnatural angles, and inhuman strength. The body may never be found, never reported, who could tell, but until that time, I hoped he didn't have a family waiting for him to return home.

The one before him, in the last millennium - a phrase that continues to blow my mind - was more my type. I was visiting Europe. Traversing the great continent for a second time since my change to this life. During an extended stay in Edinburgh a young man had caught my attention. Tall, lanky even, a slender build. His mussed hair poked from the corners of an old fisherman's knit cap. He wore a patched backpack and clothes from a charity shop. His face was a thing of beauty; carved from marble by the finest craftsman with soft full lips and bedroom eyes. The kind of boy I would have followed helplessly back at school and who never would have spare me a glance. It didn't take much to get him talking. He was from London originally but had never really had a home so staying on the move, going from city to city and country to country was like being able to breathe after a lifetime under water. I must have looked the part of the homeless runaway as well as he did; ratty hair, knees torn out of my jeans, dirty fingernails. But I traveled across continents on foot, my appearance was hardly a concern to me.

I kissed him, Paul, in a dank little alleyway, and he kissed me back. I had to be so careful, his fragile face in my hands. I could have crushed his skull if I stopped concentrating for just one instant. He smelled sugary, like a cupcake or vanilla, I thought as my mouth filled with venom. There was no control left. My ferocious, selfish need to consume him killed him. But I was gentle as he slipped away with his arms still folded around me. His face wasn't sad afterward, it was hopeful. Maybe he had seen something of the place he would go next. So I closed his eyes and touched my lips to his again, still sweet, before I picked up his backpack and the battered paperback beside him and reentered the world. I kept that paperback with me as a reminder of him. My first kiss. I was thirty-five years old and still eighteen.

When I arrived in Russia I was punishing myself, entering a country that had so captivated me but not allowing myself to enjoy it. I would remain secluded in Siberia until the blood-red eyes turned back to amber. And then I would stay until I could face humanity and my sins against them. I longed to be a part of the world again. I didn't know if I deserved the chance or whether I had paid my penance in full but while still unsure of my exact course I noted that my feet, bare even in this frozen place, moved me eastward, returning me to the frigid waters that would take me home or at least back to him. Where was he now? I doubted he had left; the house was his only link to the wife who had broken his heart.

- - - - -

The sea and salt air filled my senses. I was moving with incredible speed, the scenery a quiet blur fading in my wake. I pictured him, Charlie, in Forks. In his little house, waiting, watching the game, and wondering when he would hear from me next. Since the killing I had not contacted him and I hoped he wasn't too worried for me. He knew I could take care of myself. It had been fifteen years since I had seen my brother and I tried to picture him now, in his late forties. Didn't men look like their fathers as they aged?

When we were young I looked up to Charlie in an almost god-like fashion. He was five years my senior and already a decorated police officer by the time I graduated high school in our little town of Tillamook, Oregon. The sleepy seaside town had been our home all of our lives. We stayed there after our parents were killed in a car wreck the summer before my senior year. Charlie was only in his early twenties when he was made my guardian. He was busy, had a life of his own and so I was given as much freedom as I desired. The only thing I wanted was to get out of Oregon. I went to the University of California, Berkley. Charlie dropped me off on move-in day, hugged me goodbye and reminded me to call home once a week. He had a gun, he reminded me, and he was legally allowed to use it.

It was in Berkley that I became a vampire. Frozen in time before my nineteenth birthday. Now I watched as the world aged, decayed, faded around me. Everything becoming unrecognizable. The memories from my life before were unfocused. Washed out images, as if I had been watching life with a veil or a mist over my face. But I remembered Charlie; pushing me on a swing in our backyard as kids, letting me drive his car even though I was only twelve and could barely reach the peddles, and standing beside me at the funeral, stoically holding my hand.

He was the first thing I thought of when I awoke to this life. I didn't know if I was dead or alive but if I was dead then Charlie was alone. A thirst tore through my being and I thought of him. I had slept, for days or for weeks and woke in a dank basement with pale moonlight filtering down on me from the gaps between floor boards above. The room smelled of rotting earth and garbage. There was a lingering, burning sensation that reminding me dully of pain. I was not dead though. I was strong and alive. The world around me was vibrant. I could see everything, even dust swirling against the black backdrop of night. It looked like flecks of gold dancing in front of my eyes and I could not believe I had never noticed it before.

The house I was in, or under, was empty. I instinctually knew that. An odor lingered; cinnamon and something stronger that I couldn't identify, it smelled vaguely metallic. I left. Stood in one smooth motion and found myself outside with barely a thought on the where or the how. Then I was walking. The night should have been brisk even in California, it was winter and I was only wearing gray stockings on my legs and my shoes were gone. I had no jacket, only a navy sweater, which I almost remembered wearing to class on Tuesday afternoon but after that there was nothing until the basement.

Charlie could have already known I was missing. He would be worried that I hadn't called him. I found myself running, tearing through the forests of northern California without any knowledge as to how I was doing it. I had never been strong or athletic. The wind brushed my face like a caress as I watched headlights fall back behind me, leaving the road and knowing that I could outrun a moving vehicle. I felt like the Six Million Dollar Man or at least the Bionic Woman. Trees rushed past but I avoided each branch and every root; I saw things as if I were crawling at a snail's pace in broad daylight, accessing each situation and having time to react but only a second had passed. Less than one second.

That night I arrived home. It seemed impossible. Dawn was barely breaking as I peered through the kitchen window. Charlie was dressed for work, the refrigerator open, a grocery list on the table behind him. For a sixteenth of a second I pondered rapping on the glass before calculating how in fact I must look. If he demanded to know what had happened to me I didn't even have an answer to give him. I would have to wait. So I sat there beneath the window and watched the sky brighten, the sun stayed hidden as it often does along the coast during the coldest months. By afternoon I noted that I had not moved in several hours, that my body did not feel tired or sore, and that in fact my skin sparkled like a diamond when the sun showed itself. The latter was the most astonishing. Reaching blindly for the reflective foil watering can that our mother had always kept by the garden hose I was confounded when it crumpled in my grip. I refused to breathe for a full five minutes, I counted, before panicking.

Our kitchen door was unlocked. My room was untouched, the same as I had left it weeks ago when returning to school after the Christmas holidays. The vanity mirror confirmed my suspicion, I shimmered in the light, every inch of me. And my eyes had gone from a soft brown to violent red. I was a monster.

By the time Charlie came home from the station that night I had packed a duffle bag of clothing and a few small mementos, grabbed his old Ray-bans and vanished. He would have found my letter on the dining room table telling him not to worry, that I needed a break, that maybe California was not the place for me, I would contact him when I could and I was afraid that I had no forwarding information to leave him with. I begged him to understand. But how would I ever face him again? All he would see was a demon looking back at him.

I walked east, with no specific destination in mind, only to get away. The fire in my throat had reignited ten-fold without the distractions of home. In the evening, after twilight, as I marveled at my endless ability to continue moving, I spotted a small woman and realized that I was in a town. She was huddled against a wall; stockings torn and missing a shoe, mascara ran down her face. I heard the soft sound of tears dropping onto pavement. Her pulse was muted, slowed by alcohol and for the first time since I had awoken I thought about her blood. What it would taste like. The thick consistency and the sweet flavor. Fluid filled my mouth nearly spilling over my lips in the haste to know. I doubt her senses were sharp enough to even anticipate my approach. It was over in moments; her body broken, destroyed at my feet, wasted blood rolled down my chin and onto my sweater but all I could think about was more. Finding more. The thirst dulled from a burn to a simmer.

- - - - -

New York City was a place to lose yourself in. I had heard that as a child. People were afraid of the big city out east. Terrible murders happened out there. No one cared. And I couldn't stop myself from killing; each time I vowed never again, how horrible, what had those people done to me? I wanted to know why I deserved to live and they deserved to die. But I justified my actions in the end. I found the loners, the ones unwanted by the world, the people who wanted an escape from this existence. If no one missed them was my sin as great?

Charlie needed to know I was out there, alive, in one way or another.

He begged me to come home whenever I made it to a pay phone and gave him a call. I wrote him letters too, post-marked NYC.

"Is that where you're hiding?"

"Charlie, I'm not hiding," I would lie, my voice lovely, like the sound of the sweetest chiming bells. "It's just a break."

"What about Berkley?"

"College wasn't all that it was cracked up to be."

"I want you to come home."

I always wanted to cry. The tears I was no longer able to shed forcing me to close my eyes and shudder. I missed a good cry. Afterward you felt accomplished in a small way, more willing to shoulder on. When I wept it was without tears, without catharsis.

"I'll come out there and get you. Just tell me where you are."

"You can't," I told him wretchedly. The red eyes staring spitefully back at me in the phone's mirrored surface. "I'll call you again soon."

"Isabella," Charlie warned.

"I love you. I'm safe. Promise," and the call ended. I slipped the Ray-bans back over my eyes and stepped out into the neon nightlife of the city, desperate to lose myself in the hunt.

What I was. That had never really been a question. I killed people and drank their blood. Vampires did that. They were also strong, fast, hard as steel, cold as ice. The lies we were told as children were true, myths did exist, monsters were hiding under the stairs. And I had become one of them.

The questions I did have were eventually answered. There were others like me out there. Traveling in small groups; companions, mates, or trios. They drifted in and out of one another's lives like water, never permanent. Except for partners, mates, that seemed to be for life. So, in other words, forever. I preferred to travel alone, wandering with out aim up and down the east coast, sometimes as far west as Texas. The others were interested in me to a point, in sharing their information, never threatening, at least not overtly. They never asked me to join them. I was happy enough not to care. This life was not one I could image sharing; their sin reflecting mine, killing twice as many at a time. Those who were together, they were harsher, had an attitude of superiority when it came to humans. Some I met even thought of them like cattle, there for the feed. I couldn't agree but for all my guilt I kept killing to live. So I could call Charlie on his birthday, send him a Christmas card, ship something back that I had seen in a shop and thought he might like. My money was stolen but the people I had taken it from really didn't need it any longer. I did. It still sounds despicable and unfair when I actually say it.

And when I finally felt safe, two years in, I returned to Charlie in Oregon. My impulses were under control. I could go days, even a week without feeding if I focused. But I would not put my brother in danger; in fact I planned to over feed. Glut myself every night if I had to to keep him safe from my urges. Tillamook was a sleepy little place. There were no homeless, no desperate souls that went missing without a care from another person. San Francisco and Portland were perfect hunting grounds though. The only thing holding me back from my return was the fear of Charlie's reaction. I would have to tell him something. The red eyes - I was unable to hide them - dark sunglasses at night may have worked in New York City but they would have been out of place in our small Oregon town. He could hate me, turn me away, but at least he would know that I was safe and alive. Somewhere out there. And I would get my goodbye.

Before any of my plans were enacted though I was presented with something of a vampire threat, which up until that point I had not encountered. A gang, at least six or seven, young male vampires. Teenagers. The smell of them lingered in the city air, announcing their arrival. And I was afraid. As a group they tore through New York, killing savagely and without a thought to their choice of victims or dumping grounds. I wondered what they would do if they discovered me. The others had explained to me the inherent dangers of a group of fledgling beasts; they could tear me to pieces, destroy me for fun. Or bring down a holy rapture from the continent of Europe, the center of vampire lore and law, who would not stand idly by for long if the young ones risked exposure. Our kind living in the city, state, or eastern half of the United States could be punished for their actions and the judgement would be death. Swift and decisive.

In other words, I wanted nothing to do with their gang. And needed to extricate myself from my home of the past two years post-haste. They however had other plans for me. I had been naive enough to assume that their youth, barely different from my own, and bloodlust would distract them from my being there. With so many males I was both an easy target and an object of interest. It was embarrassingly simple to trap me. Fear radiated off my being, exciting them further. I wanted to get away from that place, another moldering basement, my meager belongings in the ruck sack I clutched to my chest. I snarled at them. And then I was gone.

Imagining myself disappearing had triggered some sort of reaction. As far as they were concerned I must have winked out of existence. In reality I was still crouched directly in the middle of them, wondering what the hell was happening. And how had I done it? I was invisible. With no time to ponder the issue I fled, a soft breeze the only sign of my passing. I ran, faster than I had imagined possible even for a creature like myself. The need to escape fueling me. I sped past a train, it's windows glorious beacons of light in the darkness, jumped rivers, swam when the distance was too far, scaled mountains and ignored the odd feeling of being studied, followed, as I reached my home state. I was a horribly inadequate tracker. Those I had left being me would likely be worse, if they had even figured out my disappearing act.

And that was exactly what it was. I learned later that I was not so much invisible. A shield of some sort would slip over me as I thought of it, causing me to wink out of existence. Undetectable by the senses but still there. I left foot prints, could knock over a chair and make a racket, or blow up a breeze as I passed. In fact I would argue that the trick only worked if the person I hid from had no clue as to how to follow a trail, other than marked by scent or sight. As far as abilities went mine was the least interesting I had heard of. Others could control nature, cause pain with a look. I could, sort of, disappear as long as you weren't really looking for me. A better trick when dealing with humans than vampires.

By Oregon I had lost some steam. I had no idea what I should tell my brother. If I was honest he would think I needed to be in an institution but what was the alternative? To tell him I had contracted a strange disease? That it caused my irises to turn blood-red. It forced me to stay inside on sunny days. And made me stronger and faster than I had ever been before. I would have been at the doctor's just as quickly. In the end I opted for evasion.

"Isabella!" His expression one of complete shock.

"Hi, Charlie."

"You're home."

"Yeah," I squirmed, hedging. A shrug. He was wary; not getting close, no hugging. "I missed you," I told him, leaning in, placing my arms around his breakable human shoulders. His smell was too much though, forcing me to jump back and away from him.

From the look of things, for the first time in a long while my brother could not get his mind around me. "Are you going to let me in?" I asked. With a sigh he stepped out of the door frame and waved me inside. Our parent's house remained unchanged. Charlie never was one to face his feelings and find closure.

The intensity of being there, home, nearly knocked me down. My memories of the place were foggy outside of my brief, private visit here a couple of years ago. I perched on the familiar, scratchy, yellow couch, unsure of what to say and how to proceed. What was the precedence for explaining to a loved one that you were a living, not-breathing monster?

Charlie cleared his throat, standing as far from me as the room would allow. Most humans kept a natural distance from those of my kind, a sort of instinct for preservation. "You do know that it's dark out, right? Why are you wearing sunglasses?" he paused, examining me with the eye of a police officer then demanded, "Are you high, Isabella?"

I laughed, the sound of chiming, tinkling bells, which surprised him. "No, Charlie," he did not believe me, "I promise." He moved forward, finally taking a seat in the chair opposite, and facing me. My clothes were torn, dirty; those things no longer held meaning to me, I had not noticed until my brother did. Examining each inch of me, calculating the changes made since we last saw one another, Charlie looked the longest at my face. The chalk white skin, smooth like marble, unearthly in it's beauty. I don't know what he saw, but it was not his younger sister. After a few minutes of his silent perusal I reminded him, "It's not polite to stare, you know," but attempted to smile.

Trying to see myself through his eyes I wandered over to the mounted mirror beside the front door. Our mother had always snuck a glance before going out; a final check to be sure she was perfect. She always was. I looked like her but she had been prettier. I could see it now in the reflective surface; her hair and her eyes. The same nose but there was too much of our father in me. My dark hair was matted in places, leaves poking out from the underneath. Sunglasses perched on my nose. Smudge of dirt across my right cheek. Tight washed out jeans that met acceptable fashion requirements. A wide, oversized and stripped shirt. It was torn at the neck, holes forming at the seams, one pocket had fallen off. I rarely washed clothes. I wore them and threw them away. Being fashionable or flashy would have made me stand out in the neighborhoods where I hunted among the vagrants and drug addicts. I wore a jacket more out of habit then necessity; I did not feel the cold. I smiled at the reflection, she smiled back, her teeth glinting and dangerous. I saw Charlie glance away from me. At least, I had found shoes for the occasion. While passing across the mountains I had fed from a young hitchhiker who I had found walking down the highway. The shoes were formerly hers. Dirty, black sneakers but better than arriving at the door barefoot.

Later, when I explained myself, Charlie was unflappable. Just sat there silently, nodding his head with wide confused eyes. I wished he would yell or laugh. Do something, but he didn't.

"I'm not crazy," I told him.

"But you're a vampire?" he questioned with a lifeless voice. I nodded. "And you drink blood?"

"Yes. I need to in order to survive."

"Are you going to," he paused, searching for the right words, "bite me," he finished uncomfortably.

I wanted to giggle at the absurdity of that statement but it seemed inappropriate, so I simply said, "No."

It was his turn to nod, "Are you moving home?"

I sighed. Only Charlie would dismiss my being a monster if it meant I was coming back. "I don't think I can." No response so I continued, "I might kill someone we know. I could hurt you," he bobbed his head up and down, looking lost, "and I wouldn't be able to stand it if I did something to you."

My brother stood, took a deep breath, and sat back down. "Do you want a drink?" I guessed. He waved me toward the liquor cabinet. I poured him a whiskey then made it a double. It was gone in one swallow. I sat the bottle within his reach and he refilled the glass.

The second one stuck in his throat and made him cough. He sputtered out, "Isabella, you're killing people?"

I couldn't face him so I turned away, focusing instead on an old family portrait. I removed my sunglasses and confirmed his suspicion sadly. "I have to."

"Now," he was back on his feet, "That I can not abide." I loved Charlie's voice when he was being the policeman. He sounded like our father.

"I need their blood, Charlie." No conversation in history had been as strange and unexpected as this one.

"Have you tried not drinking it?" I fixed him with a glare, the red eyes burning through him, and he winced away before shrugging.

"It's too painful. I try but then I can't stop myself and I'll drink from anyone, anywhere. I can control myself, hunt, find victims that wont be missed, not draw attention to myself. But not if I'm starving."

Charlie was pained by my explanation. His face twisted with anguish knowing what I had been doing. "I can't even get my thoughts straight right now," he yanked at his hair. "I just need to think."

I nodded pathetically. "I can leave."

"No!" he commanded. "You are to stay right here. Do you understand?" I agreed. He couldn't keep me here against my will but I could give him that. I wouldn't hurt him by leaving when he wanted me to stay. "But don't leave the house tonight. No killing," he added distastefully. "No blood drinking. Please."

I sighed. "Alright, Charlie. For you. But it's a risky game."

"Just give me a night to think of something, okay?" With my reluctant consent he added, " Your room is just how you left it."

"Oh," I replied. "I don't sleep."

Charlie just shook his head and climbed the first few steps. "Of course not," he offered, carried away on a fog. The gravity of the situation, whatever he believed it to be, sinking into his consciousness. "Well," he went on, "then feel free to shower and get cleaned up."

I took that as a hint, offered a tight-lipped smile and a wave. Charlie slipped into his old room. I heard him go about his nightly routine, settle into bed, and then toss and turn. He did not sleep for another two hours and when he finally did I began to reexamine our childhood home.

It was the next morning when he suggested to me that I might be able to survive on the blood of animals. He also told me about his promotion and future relocation. My brother was leaving the family home, Tillamook, even the state of Oregon. There was a job waiting for him in the Olympic Peninsula of northwest Washington State, in a small town named Forks. There were even less people there than in our hometown but the pay was better and Charlie would get more respect from guys who hadn't know him his entire life.

"It's a rainy place but you know a little wet has never bothered me."

"Kind of sounds gloomy to me," I told him.

"Omnipresent cloud cover and every shade of green you can imagine."

"I like green." At least I would be able to venture out in the daylight if I ever got a chance to visit.

"And I want you to come with me, Isabella."

"Oh, Charlie," I breathed, unable to answer, tears I was unable to shed clogging my throat. "If I'm going to try this animal thing, well, I really can't be around people until I've figured it out."

He nodded, "Like an alcoholic avoiding a bar."

An odd analogy, but that was my brother, so I just said, "Sure."

"But you'll keep in touch?"

"Always."

And I did. Hiding out in the northern territories of Canada, avoiding people, except to drop off a letter in each tiny town I stumbled across. It was harder to quell the urge then, for human blood, I made more frequent mistakes. But the changes were immediate; my eyes burned amber rather than red, I could greet another person on the street and for all intense and purposes look like a young woman, not a monster. My appearance remained unerringly beautiful but I was not immediately feared. That made the dirty, bland blood of animals all the more tolerable.

* * * * *

A/N - Thank you for reading!

Disclaimer - Twilight does not belong to me.


	2. Devil In The Details

Chapter 2 - Devil In The Details

I thought about my first visit to Forks, more than fifteen years ago, as I slipped back into the freezing waters that connect Russia and Alaska. My brother was still single, renting a small home outside of town, and even introduced me to the few friends that he had made. People could not believe we were related. Charlie laughed it off explaining that I got all the looks from our mother. Later, when he told me about Renee I wanted to go back, to meet her, but Charlie was afraid that I wouldn't be able to hide who I was from her in such close quarters. He wanted more time to come up with a plan and a contingency plan. I was in Europe but told him I could be home at a moment's notice.

There was another reason I did not push my return to Forks. I, of course did not want to jeopardize my brother's life in Washington but that wasn't the only thing holding me back. During my time there I was presented with a feeling. It was not the first time but it was unknown and still strange to me. It was as if someone had been there, someone who was watching me. It had made me cautious and kept me close to Charlie and his home. I was not looking for trouble.

And then there were the signs; no human could have read them but they blazed at me. Vampires had been there and they had made it an extended stay. That however had clearly been years prior to my arrival, the traces of them, scant but noticeable, were quite old. They had not returned in my lifetime. It did however make me nervous. I was unwilling to put Charlie or myself in a dangerous situation dealing with others. I would be unable to protect my brother from a group of vampires far older than myself. I doubted if I would even be able to defend myself.

So, I never met Renee. She married Charlie and subsequently broke his heart in a matter of two years, then left town. We never talked about her, at least nothing more than surface feelings or comments, leaving most of my questions unanswered. It was clear that my brother still loved her. They had talked about children but she wasn't ready for that kind of commitment. She was a decade younger than him, barely out of her teens. Too immature I told him. Charlie only grunted in reply and asked why I hadn't sent him a postcard for three weeks.

Through out my travels I had remained alone. Easier to move about and do as I pleased. No longer tied by the need to feed from those around me I found myself enjoying the company of humans once more. Meandering down winding cobblestone roads. Stepping into churches. Exchanging conversation. Of course my choice of lifestyle divided me from those of my kind. To them I was an oddity or an uppity young vampire. Hunting animals removed me from them and placed me in a strange gray area, not entirely part of, or welcomed by human or vampire. The only place where I had belonged had been with my brother. My need to be with him now, at this point, after falling off the wagon so to speak, was intensified by my loneliness.

His house was exactly as I had imagined it; small but warm, friendly. It backed up to a dark, thick wood. Perfect for my visit. I knew the fauna nearby was plentiful; I had caught a number of scents on my way into town. Running from Forks, north to Canada and south to Seattle would keep me fed as well as amused. I noted that the scent I had picked up on during my last visit had dissipated further. The others had not returned, which buoyed my spirits greatly.

Watching Charlie from the forest's edge I saw him eating a dinner heated in his microwave. He sat in an old recliner then turned on a ball game, holding his vigil until nearly eleven. I wanted to catch him before he retired for the night. Sparing a moment to ponder over my appearance I assumed I looked as disheveled as I felt. One hand ran over my hair, a knotted mess. I pulled the blue knitted cap from my back pocket, hoping to hide what I could not fix. Out of my dirty duffle bag I grabbed the sneakers I kept there for times when I was among humans; high-tops blackened and worn from use, they had been old when I came by them. The sweater was what it was. A slouchy, cream knit, held together by tan leather buttons, which I fingered nervously, ever careful not to tear them from my shirt. My jeans were also well worn. Ripped open at the knees and the pockets missing. I had packed very little for my Russian sojourn, leaving most of my possessions for the next person who would dwell in my remote little cabin. Or perhaps even for myself, if I chose to return there at some point in the future. If I could face that place again.

My brother, I noticed, looked older. Gray streaked the hair at his temples. His face too was sagging, lines creased the skin around his mouth and eyes. I marveled at the changes wrought by time and wondered what I might have looked like if I had never become a vampire. I was at that time forty-three years old. I hadn't observed a birthday since my eighteenth but I never missed the day either.

I wondered at the house. Cheery but shabby; everything needed a fresh coat of paint or a good dusting. Knowing Charlie he had not changed a thing since Renee left. He could dwell on the past like no other person I had met. The kitchen cabinets were yellow and too bright. She should have done the walls and left the wood. Silently I scanned the room and those it led into. I was beside him before he knew someone was in the house.

Charlie jumped, knocking over his beer in the process and grabbing frantically at his heart, which pounded loudly to my ears. I blocked the noise to the best of my ability, ignored it's presence as I had taught myself. "Isabella," he gasped after a long moment.

I laughed, patted his knee and told him, "Breathe," then followed it with an apology. "I thought you were having a heart attack on me, old boy." He chuckled, breathing deeply. "I'm sorry that I haven't called you."

He frowned, I had worried him. "You always do. Eventually. Though I wish it were more often," I smiled sheepishly. Charlie was more like my father than my brother. He looked old enough to be. How had life worn him down so much in the years I had been away? Was that how much a human aged in fifteen years?

"I'm here now," I soothed.

"Did anyone in town see you?" he asked me, glancing back toward the kitchen.

"No."

"Well," he coughed, "I'm the sheriff now," I nodded, "and people are snoopy. They want to know my business and having a young woman slipping into my house at night is bound to have some tongues wagging."

"Gross," I announced, going to check out the photographs hanging along the wall and then examining those on the mantel piece. With Charlie I always tried to appear normal, how he remembered me being. I fidgeted, touched my hair, blinked, and moved slowly, deliberately. I was a complete klutz as a girl. Vampires are impossibly graceful. He found that aspect of my change disconcerting. He had never mentioned it specifically; it's just something I picked up on.

He cleared his throat. "Yes, well," he motioned about the room helplessly, "I was just about to head up to bed."

"I know. I saw you."

"Oh," he replied, surprised.

"Wild Saturday night, bro," I commented playfully.

His responding grin was wane. Charlie's shoulders drooped and I heard joints cracking and popping as he climbed out of his recliner. In that moment my decision was made. How could I leave him? His life alone was no life at all. I was ashamed that I had stayed away as long as I had. At the time I would have said that it was for his safety. But if I was honest with myself, which I especially hated being, I had not wanted to disturb him in his town. He always described his life as busy, full, but now I knew that like my white lies, he had been trying to protect me from the lonely truth of his existence.

"Look, Charlie," I started, unsure how to say what I wanted to. "I don't want to screw anything up for you here," he began to protest but I silenced him with a glare. "But I need a place to stay." It was better for him to play the protective brother than the one in need.

I had managed to shock him again, I was on a roll. "What," he sputtered. I was immediately disappointed, imagining that he was upset and concerned about my being there. I tried to keep my face passive but I felt a grimace pull at the corners of my mouth. "No!" Pain, heart breaking sadness, I turned away. "I mean, you really want to stay here now? Finally? After all this time?"

"Are you saying that I can?"

"Of course," he rushed, hugging me. I relaxed into his grip. "Isabella, you're ice cold!"

I laughed, "That's okay, Charlie. I think that's just me. I don't feel it." I stepped back asking, "So, do I get my own room or is it sofa city?"

"The guest room is all yours. Though," he went on with a sigh, "I think you're my first guest since moving into this place."

"Charlie, you've lived here for something like sixteen years," I shook my head. He would never change.

"Well," he said somewhat sadly, "when we bought this house I thought it would make a great nursery, you know, a kids room. One day."

I sighed, "Oh."

"That just never panned out, I guess."

I shrugged and bit my lip. It was all I could do not to tear out of this house, track down Renee, and kill her. I could find her scent. I was sure Charlie still had something of hers around the house. But I stopped myself, relaxing and trying to forget the urge to murder. I definitely needed a good hunt. Washington State herbivores beware. "Well, consider it taken," I forced a small smile.

"Wonderful," Charlie announced, clapping his hands together and rubbing them vigorously. "So how is this going to work?"

"Well, I can't exactly be myself again. Your sister should look about twenty-five years older than she does." He agreed. "But," I added with a smile, "her daughter, could easily be a teenager, about fifteen."

"About right. If Isabella had married shortly after leaving on her last visit," he thought out loud.

"Who says I got married?" My brother glanced up, nervous. "This family has never had any scandal and I like to think that if given half a chance that I could have provided it."

"You drink blood to survive," he cocked an eyebrow. "How much more scandal do you need?"

"Unwed motherhood," I grinned. He grumbled but gave in. With a "Thank you, Uncle Charlie," and a wink I sent my brother off to bed. I had a lot of planning to do. And as I peered around the first floor and later my room, I realized there would also be plenty of redecorating and redesigning to do around this place if a teenage girl was going to make it home. I thanked the stars up above that I did not sleep.

The following morning Charlie woke to find a fresh scented, clean, dust-free home. Through the night I had worked some magic, easily scrubbing his house from top to bottom. I also had time to do some laundry, bathe, hunt, and whip up a little breakfast. As I poured my brother's coffee and placed a plate of steaming hot bacon and eggs in front of him, Charlie sighed in delight. "Well, this is all an unexpected surprise." He tucked into the food immediately with a mumbled, "Thank you."

"When you don't sleep you end up with a lot of free time," I shrugged.

"What else did you get up to last night?"

Placing a spiral notebook beside him I gracefully took a seat at the table. "I wrote this." He glanced at the first few pages then raised an eyebrow at me. "I'm going to need some reason to be here. A background. A story. So this is it, in black and white, for you to memorize," I commented, tapping my temple.

"You know," he said around a mouthful of eggs, "teenagers still go to school. They don't just spend all day squatting in their uncle's house."

"I'm inclined to agree."

"So?"

"Well, I suppose that means I will be enrolling at the local high school. Which means we'll need to find someone to falsify some documents for me," I thought out-loud.

Charlie swirled the liquid in his mug, "Isabella, do you really think you're ready for high school? All those children. Do you think you'll be able to," he swallowed, "handle that?"

I knew exactly what he meant. Could I, as a vampire, live among humans and not manage to murder them? Even by accident? I hoped so. And I did not want my brother worrying so I forced myself to smile, pushing aside my own fears. "Really, Charlie. I graduated high school in 1981. I think enough time has elapsed for me to forget the trauma induced by youths and their raging hormones."

"That's not what I meant," he continued.

"I know," I told him, my hand coming to cover his. "And I will be fine. I promise. Trust me."

He sighed. "I do." With his plate empty I stood, placed it in the sink and returned to my seat before Charlie noticed that I had moved. He shook his head. "I doubt I will ever be able to get used to that. But I may know someone who can help us out with that paperwork you'll need."

"Well, don't dawdle, man," I exclaimed, getting up and retrieving Charlie's coat, which he quickly slipped into. "And you have to take me shopping."

"You shop?" he looked skeptical. My only reply was a withering glare that had him shrinking into himself.

"Now," he grumbled, the stoic sheriff once more, "I do not see why that's necessary."

"Charlie, do you see what I am being forced to wear? I can not possibly attend school in these clothes." In fact I was still wearing my jeans from the night before. I had found a cardigan, which had once been mine and a few other personal possessions at the back of the linen closet upstairs. The sweater was from the late seventies, white with navy stripes and gold buttons. I was wearing it as a shirt, oversized and perhaps coming back into fashion but with worn elbows and moth-holes. Rain had been pouring down in sheets so Charlie's dark green Wellington boots had replaced my canvas shoes. They were too large and made a ridiculous squeaking noise with each step that I took. Lastly, my now clean, smooth chestnut hair gleamed in the florescent lights of the kitchen, pulled back by a red satin ribbon, found among my brother's Christmas decorations. I had not been joking with him when I said I had been over every inch of his house since my arrival.

Very few of my possessions had weathered my stay in Siberia or the subsequent journey back to Forks. "I will have absolutely nothing to wear to school on tomorrow if you do not take me out to buy a few things. And," I added wistfully, "if I remember rightly, teenage girls are very concerned with their outfits. Owning the correct pieces, the fashionable things."

"You never cared about that before."

"I did. We just never had any money for expensive clothes. So if I am going to do the whole school thing a second time, I would like to get it right and do it my way. I am a grown woman, Charlie."

He sighed, "I know. It's just easy to forget. So, what do you need and how much is this going to set me back?"

I laughed, the sweetest tinkling of bells, causing my brother to stare and then shake himself back into reality. "I can buy my own stuff. I do have money."

"Then what do you need me to go with you for?" he grumbled.

"Pretenses," I paused, "mostly," to which my brother quirked a masculine brow. "And I need a ride."

"Isabella," he warned, pinching the skin between his eyes.

"Bella," I reminded him. "I think you should start using my new name so that you get used to it."

"Bella," he repeated.

"That's what I am going by now. It's less formal."

"Your mother named you after herself?" he questioned skeptically.

"I told you she was a modern woman. Raising me all alone, traveling the world, working on her art. But she cared enough to send me here to live with my loving, though distant uncle, so that I could have that normal American high school experience."

"How swell of her," he smirked. I chuckled. Becoming my own offspring was surprisingly entertaining. I thoroughly enjoyed discussing myself at a safe, removed distance. Charlie turned serious again, "But I feel you are perfectly capable of shopping on your own. You are a grown woman as you said."

"Not to these people. And somehow I doubt that you would let me borrow the cruiser for a joyride to Port Angeles."

"I most certainly would not."

"And I could just run there but have you ever tried moving whip fast through a dense, damp forest with a bundle of shopping bags?" Off of my brother's mystified look I informed him that the results were comically bad.

He acquiesced with a sigh but was obviously resigned to his fate. "Fine. Port Angeles today. Enroll at school tomorrow." I dazzled him with a stunning grin before practically squealing and throwing my arms, very lightly, around him in a loving hug.

- - - - -

Charlie continued to offer meek protests as we drove out of Forks; suggesting instead that we stop by Newton's, a hiking supply store in town. I had ended that discussion with a scowl. His fussing did not end as we entered Port Angeles either. The ride had taken three times as long as it would have if I had been driving. My brother diligently drove the speed limit or under. In other words, I was ready to burst by the time we existed the police car.

Glancing around I could not help but think that I would rather have been visiting Seattle and it's variety of shops but I had made do in far bleaker situations.

"A waste of a perfectly good Sunday," my brother reminded me as we parked.

"Now hush," I scolded, "there will be a ball game when we get home and I promised to make you a big dinner." The constant cloud cover was in full effect; a drizzling rain as well as a thick fog, which rolled in off the coast, permeated the air around us. The day was absolutely wonderful for a vampire with errands to run out of doors but I imagined for anyone else the day would have been far from perfect.

"Where to?"

Taking a moment to myself, breathing in unnecessarily, I relished in the sheer joy of normalcy, of the humanity that washed over me. I chose a chic little boutique, which reeked of teenage pheromones, perfume, and youthful exuberance. And so we entered. Charlie posing as my long-suffering but dutiful uncle and I as a charming school girl.

The store quite literally blew his mind, with wide eyes he surveyed our surroundings and remained as close to the front door as was physically possible. The poor man coughed and averted his eyes as girls giggled, going to and from the changing rooms, barely concealing their nudity.

"Tell me again what's wrong with the clothes you are wearing?"

I eyed myself cynically, "Seriously, Charlie? I look like a nautical Christmas ornament."

A young sales girl, over-hearing me, stifled a laugh as she approached us. "I'm Sara. Can I help you find something today?" My brother gaped at her like a fish, mouth half open and slack, dubiously staring at the exposed flesh of her mid-drift. I wondered idly when he had gotten so damned old.

My smile in return to her was sweet and I made sure not to show any teeth. I would practice on her for my first day at school. I did not want to intimidate the children in my classes. There was something frightening and predatory in my looks, in vampire looks, that kept people at bay even when they were utterly fascinated by us.

"I'm new to the area. New high school and everything," I attempted to sound like a modern teen but had no way of judging my success. Sara only nodded and smiled, patting my hand, before modestly recoiling from the coolness of my skin.

"That's hard," she sympathized. "But we have some really cute things for this coming season. You'll fit right in!" she beamed. "Don't worry," she finished with a wink in Charlie's direction as if to say, _kids!_ She was young enough to be my daughter.

With a shy grin I revealed my wish list. "I want jeans, maybe those," I pointed to an exquisite pair of dark, skinny pants. "Things with sequins and sparkles," and then adding in my dulcet voice with increasing speed, "silky camisoles, cardigans, I love them," I told the entranced girl. "Some of those cute little flat shoes too," my eyes gleamed, "and jewelry, the bigger the better." With the words past my lips Sara jumped into the racks. Behind me I heard a groan. "What?" I demanded, remembering to flick my hair, blink, and switch my weight from one foot to the other.

"Forks, Isabel..." he corrected himself, "Bella." When I did not reply he carried on speaking in a wary tone. "Those kids, they dress to avoid the rain and cold. They certainly do not go waltzing around town looking like fashion models."

"Now, you and I both know, Uncle Charlie, that I am never really going to blend in with high schoolers. So I figure, I am not even going to try. You, dig?" I pondered whether kids still said that. I would have to try and pick up some new slang terms over the next few days. My brother remained unconvinced. Pouting, I asked, "Would you feel better if I also bought a warm coat," he nodded, "some sensible, weather appropriate footwear," he was thawing, "and a hat?"

"Fine," he grumpily agreed. "And a book bag."

We made a deal though I doubted I would be needing the books provided by my teachers. At that time I was well versed in many subjects with an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and a restless mind.

"Alright then. As long as I know you will try to look," he glanced around, "normal." That made me crack a smile; that word was no long part of my vocabulary. And with a nod I pushed him back toward the door we had entered through. Charlie questioned me with his eyes only, taking my cues. "Go and get some coffee, why don't you?"

That perked him right up, "I can go?"

I rolled my eyes, telling him, "Scat. I have business to take care of." My clerk returned and ushered me into a small fitting room, leaving the curtain open, and offering me a bottle of water. After refusing it with thanks I quickly closed myself off from prying eyes. My physical appearance was often hard for humans to understand due to it's striking perfection and adding my naked form would make going unnoticed that much more difficult. I had drawn attention to myself already with expensive tastes and my seeming lack of a shopping budget. Keeping under the radar was always a priority for a vampire, especially for a nomadic, animal-eater. So hidden away from the world I took my time, examining and savoring my clothing options. In the end I believe I bought Sara a big promotion and maybe kept a little business afloat for another year or two in the process.

"Come back anytime," she waved enthusiastically as I exited, laden down with bags and attempting to put up an appearance of struggling to hold them.

Once back in Forks, fake birth certificate hot off of the presses, and in hand, I unloaded the unseemly number of packages from Charlie's cruiser. My brother seated himself in his chair, turned on the television, and kicked up his feet.

I approached him, perching on the arm of the chair opposite, careful not to inflict any damage. "I wanted to say thank you for today."

He looked genuinely surprised, "For what?"

"Well, I know you did a lot of things today that you were have preferred not to have done," I eyed him sadly. "I jeopardized your career, you broke the law to get me those papers for school."

Charlie sighed. "Bella, I would break just about any law to keep you here. I am sure you've noticed it but I'm alone and well," he paused to gather his thoughts, "the older a man gets the more he thinks about his loneliness. You have always been very important to me," he reached forward to place his hand over mine, "you're my baby sister." We shared a small smile each knowing just how much of a baby I seemed in comparison to him. "So no more nonsense talk about making me do things I don't want to do. I am the police chief," he reminded me, puffing himself up.

"Now," Charlie closed his eyes and leaned back in his recliner, "go make me that dinner you promised me".

* * * * *

A/N - Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed the chapter!

Disclaimer - Twilight does not belong to me.


	3. Pure Morning

A/N - Some direct borrowing from Twilight in this chapter. (Sort of)

**Chapter 3 - Pure Morning**

Monday morning dawned dimly with promise; the skies remained dark as rain pattered lightly on the roof above. I had finished my chores around the house quickly last night and had spent the wee hours studying up on my Latin. The language I had studied previously at school and the one I would report to taking when enrolling in courses the next day. I was excited for the new challenges I would face. While I figured that within a week I would probably be bored to death of both the classwork as well as the student population, three hundred and fifty-seven children, starkly reminding me of our old school in Oregon.

As I readied myself for the first day I pondered over my appearance in the bathroom mirror. Charlie was only just stirring and I would soon depart and make way for him to do, what I liked to refer to as, human things. It would be impossible for me to fit in at Forks but I had promised my brother that I would try. In high school, I never found that niche, that group of people of like minds who I could share myself with and feel truly comfortable. I had not related well with people my own age as a teen and I was willingly throwing myself to the metaphorical lions. And now the other students were less than half of my real age. There would be no place for me but nor should there be. Friends are not only a complication but I put them in danger every extra moment I spent with them.

They would be fascinated by me, that was usual. People stared; I was after all inhumanly beautiful with butterscotch colored eyes, perfect white skin, and long glossy chestnut hair. They were fooled into believing I was one of them only because they wanted to be, because the other option was too terrifying.

An hour later Charlie had consumed his breakfast: an omelet and dark coffee. I was determined that he eat a sensible meal in the morning. "Want to head over there now, Bells?" he asked me.

I was nervous. If I had been human I would have been feeling butterflies in my stomach. In my vampire life emotions like anxiety were highly uncommon; guilt, turmoil, and loneliness had been all that I had felt for so long that I barely recognized anything else. I was putting both my brother and myself at a great risk for my belief that I could be with so many humans at one time without a slip-up. Their scent, their heat, the flutterings of their strong youthful hearts; I tried not to think about those things as I gingerly slipped a handful of blank notebooks into my black leather messenger bag.

It was still drizzling so I would be forced to don the coat I had purchased. Charlie grumbled so I grabbed the gray knit cap sitting by the front door as well. My jacket was a black military pea coat, fitted at the waist and with two lines of silver buttons running down the bust. I also agreed to wear the black hiking boots that my brother recommended I buy in order to 'blend in' in a town like Forks. Though I seriously wondered how many female teens wore those to school, I doubted any, but I liked them and thought they suited my dark-wash skinny jeans. Nothing that I had purchased was flashy and I had done my best to stay away from the overly trendy pieces the sales girl had recommended. My closet had been filled with a lovely variety of muted but beautiful clothes.

After thinking over my outfit options for my first day, far too much time wasted on something so juvenile, I had settled on a deep blue tank top and a delicate grey military inspired cardigan. The sweater had cost a small fortune. Adding a large black crystal necklace and gray Ray-Bans I believed I would not disappoint Charlie. The sunglasses I wore whenever possible; while my eyes were not blood red their rich, amber color was none-the-less unusual and often unsettling.

Finally, we were on our way. The school was close enough. I would be able to slip into the woods running along the perimeter after my day was finished and run straight home in a matter of moments. The drive there though, weaving through groups of teens milling about before the first bell, and finding a parking space was an exercise in frustration for me, while it was a common daily activity for my brother. It would take time for me to adjust to the act of living at a human pace. He noticed my impatience with a bemused grin, "You know, I could look into getting you a car of your own".

"Funny, Chief. But highly illegal." Off his questioning glance I added with the barest hint of a grin, "I'm supposed to be fifteen,"

He chuckled, "Oh yeah. Guess you'll have to wait until next year."

We stepped through a door marked 'Front Office' and into a small, brightly lit room, filled with an over abundance of dying plants. I allowed the scent of the tiny space to wash over me, to prepare myself for the coming onslaught of hunger. The burning sensation rippled up my throat as venom filled my mouth. I held my breath for a beat, then two, calming down, and approached a large, red-haired woman wearing glasses.

The woman looked up from her paperwork and greeted Charlie with warm regard and a hint of surprise. After a moment she shifted her appraisal to me, her mouth dropping open, eyes flitting between my brother and myself. "Can I help you?" she stammered.

"I'm Bella Swan," I told her. "The chief's niece?" With a smile and a penetrating stare I dazzled her, forcing her to accept the fact as something she had already known but probably forgotten.

"Uh," Charlie turned to her. "You remember my sister? This is her daughter". Red-hair nodded, her eyes never leaving mine. "Well," he went on, "Bella has come to stay with me while her mom travels through," his eyes widened as he looked to me helplessly. Someone should have turned off the television while memorizing their backstory.

"South America," I supplied.

"Right. She only got here Saturday night but I wanted to get her enrolled in school immediately." He shared a conspiratorial look with the woman, "My sister is a bit flighty and she has been dragging this girl all over creation for the past few years and I am just so darned worried about her education."

Seemingly breaking out of her vampire induced coma the receptionist finally swung back to stare at the police chief with something akin to awe. Maybe I was not the only one in our family with powers of persuasion. "How wonderful!" she exclaimed. "Well, let's just get you situated. Do you have your transcripts?"

My brother cleared his throat, "You see Bella's previous school was in Russia."

"Russia!" she marveled. It wasn't entirely a lie.

"Yes and well, who knows when those transcripts will arrive and then who would be able to read them." He played up being rather annoyed by that fact. "Bella is an excellent student, quite advanced for her years, and competent in a number of languages." Red-hair only stared, amazed. "I really want her to be in school. Her mother did a fine job up until now but the girl needs a good American education". Charlie puffed out his chest to emphasize that last point. I rolled my eyes.

"Of course! Of course," she flapped about the desk gathering forms and pushing them in our direction. Turning to me briefly she all but shouted, "Forks is just the place for you!"

Twenty minutes later I had a stack of papers in my hand including a class schedule, a book list, an activities schedule, and a map. As Charlie waved and drove away, the parking lot was devoid of life, I assumed classes had already begun for the day. Paging through the information in front of me I quickly memorized it all before shoving everything into my bag. I sucked in a huge breath and wondered idly if I could go the whole day without breathing. It could save lives but it would keep me ultimately very quiet. Three sentences for a lung full of air was about my average. But I was determined. I was not going to attack anyone. I finally exhaled and started walking at a very human pace to the building that held my first class of the day.

Building three was easy to spot. A large black "3" was painted on a white square on the east corner. I listened to the sounds around me and sniffed the air, spending one last moment getting collected. Approaching the door, the sounds of twenty children filled my ears. I held my breath as I walked through the door prepared for the worst and hoping for the best.

The classroom was small. I hung my coat on a long row of hooks by the door and turned to look at the other occupants of the room. Most of which had fallen silent at my entrance. I noticed with pleasure that the faces staring back at me were pale. At least the color of my skin wouldn't stand out too much.

I took the slip given to me by the office woman and gave it to the man I presumed to be my teacher, a tall, balding man whose desk had a nameplate identifying him as Mr. Mason. He gawked at me; first at my face, then his eyes skimmed my body with inappropriate lust and a twinge of genuine fear, and finally at the name on the paper in front of him. It was not an encouraging response. If I had been able to blush I was sure I would have been tomato red. All eyes remained on me as the teacher recovered himself and sent me to an empty desk at the back without bothering to introduce me to the class. It was harder for my new classmates to stare at me in the back, but somehow they managed. I kept my eyes down on the syllabus I had been given. Their watchfulness made me uncomfortable; I was careful to shift in my seat, touch my hair, and remove my sunglasses. _Behave like a fifteen year old girl_, I constantly reminded myself. The books for this class: Bronte, Shakespeare, Chaucer, Faulkner. I had already read everything. That was uninteresting but expected.

When the bell rang, a nasal buzzing sound, a gangly boy with skin problems and hair black as an oil slick leaned across the aisle to speak with me.

"You're new, aren't you?" He looked like the overly helpful, chess club type of my own youth. I wanted to escape and thought of brushing him off but in such a small town my rudeness was sure to reflect back on my brother. I did not want everyone gossiping about the chief's snobby niece. Quiet was fine but discourteous was unacceptable.

"Bella Swan," I informed him. Everyone within a three-seat radius turned to gape at me.

"What's your next class?" he asked.

"Government," I told him, "with Jefferson, in building six." There was nowhere to look without meeting the curious gazes of a dozen children.

"I'm heading toward building four, I could show you the way." He was definitely over-helpful and I found myself smiling, wondering if people like him were still members of the audio-visual club and if those still existed in a time of televisions in every classroom. He took my smile to be something other than what it was and returned it. "I'm Eric."

I nodded in greeting. I would have to allow this boy to show me the way to my next class. It would be odd if I did not require assistance. I replied tentatively, "Thank you."

We retrieved our jackets and headed back out into the rain, which had picked up considerably. Those behind us were keeping close, eavesdropping. They whispered about me. I could hear everything of course. One girl wondered if I was related to Chief Swan. Another admired my jacket and book-bag while a third snidely commented, "This school really does not need any new girls coming in with their perfect skin and designer clothes trying to steal all of our boys." A few others voiced their agreement. I wished I could tell her that I had absolutely no interest in the young men who I could feel ogling me through my coat. The rumor mill would be working overtime that day, I thought as I struggled to keep a slow enough pace for Eric to lead me.

"So, where are you from?" he asked.

"Russia," he tumbled forward in surprise. I grabbed him gently around the arm and smiled lightly when he looked back at my face. "Careful," I warned.

"Wow. You lived in Russia?"

"With my mom," I said.

"This must be a lot different, huh?"

"Very".

"Well, I hope you like rain," he told me, studying the clouds above us.

"I'm used to a lot of snow," I shrugged, flicking my hair over my shoulder. My companion's heart rate sped up.

We walked back around the cafeteria, to the south buildings by the gym. Eric walked me right to the door, though it was clearly marked.

"Well, good luck," he said as I touched the handle. "Maybe we'll have some other classes together." He sounded hopeful.

I sighed lightly, lifted my lips into something resembling a kind, shy smile and went inside.

The rest of the morning passed in similar fashion. I had been placed in Trigonometry, which I felt was beneath my level but it was the only space available as of that morning. My teacher, Mr. Varner, who glared at me with something akin to true annoyance, was the only one to ask me to introduce myself to the class. He instructed me to remove my sunglasses and tell my fellow students something interesting about myself. I barely contained a growl. Standing before the group I told them my name, that I had just moved to Forks from Russia, and was residing with my wonderful uncle, Police Chief Swan; all of which was sure to add fuel to the gossip fire. Taking my seat I avoided the prying eyes of my fellows. They murmured to one another about me and in those moments I cursed my vampiric hearing. Ignorance would have been bliss.

A girl who sat next to me in Trig volunteered her table as a place to sit during the hour-long lunch period. I would rather have sat alone or wandered through the stacks of the cramped school library but I agreed. I doubted I would repeat the act the following day. Offering her a small wave, we parted ways, she went on to Spanish and I to Latin.

The same girl greeted me outside of the lunch room, reintroducing herself as Jessica. I had not forgotten but inclined my head in a gesture of thanks. She was tiny, several inches shorter than my five feet four inches, but her wildly curly dark hair made up a lot of the difference between our heights. She prattled on, endlessly, about topics only a teenage girl could find interesting. Her hair smelled sickeningly sweet. And she clung to me, showing me off like a flashy new toy. I was nothing but an object to her but she was only a prop to me so I allowed her to guide me to a seat beside her at the table. The boy from English, Eric, waved at me from across the room. I had never been so popular in my life and rather than enjoying it I found myself growing increasingly agitated.

The fact that I did not eat went unnoticed but I doubted that I could hide my lack of appetite forever. Soon I would be 'Bulimic Bella', I guessed, giggling at my own joke. A sign Jessica took that I was interested in our conversation. I dreamed of putting a fork in my eye and watching those little kids run away from me screaming. My eye would heal I argued with myself but more likely the fork would break and I would only manage to garner more attention. _Bella's eyeballs are made of steel!_ _Awesome!_

I walked with another girl, Angela, to my next class, Biology II. She was shy and reminded me remarkably of my own best friend in junior high school. I liked her immediately. Thankfully it was my second to last class. I tried to play the part of nervous. And out of sheer boredom I purposely tripped walking into the classroom. Everyone stared. I remembered in a flash how I had hated being a klutz; better to stick with blinking and fidgeting.

When we entered the classroom my new friend went to sit at a black-topped table exactly like the ones I had used in the late 1970's. I shook my head, things never changed really. She already had a neighbor. In fact, all the tables were filled but one. As I walked down the aisle to introduce myself to the teacher and get my slip signed, I watched the children watching me. I was rigid, the room was too warm and their smell was incredibly concentrated in that place. Venom flowed freely into my mouth. It was too late to try holding my breath. This would be a test. If everyone in this room survive until the bell rang then I was committed enough to return the following day. Though I felt it was wretched of me to wager their lives in such a fashion. I could have fled, hid in the bathroom and claimed to be overwhelmed but instead I strode forward.

Mr. Banner signed my slip and handed me a book with no nonsense about instructions. I could tell that we were going to get along. He sent me to the open table, apologizing that I would have to complete the labs on my own but it was the only place available. I on the other hand was thankful to have some space. Knowing that I was proficient in science and being at a safe distance from the others seated around me was comforting.

The class dragged on longer than those prior to it but I avoided murdering anyone. I had achieved a sense of peace and well being by the time the bell rang. I was still the first one through the door, moving at a speed that I normally would not condone in public. I hoped Angela would not be offended that I had not waited to speak with her after class.

Moving swiftly through the crowds and out of the building I was forced to stop when a young man burst out in front of me. "Aren't you Bella Swan?" he asked as if I were some celebrity. He had a cute, baby-face with pale blond hair carefully gelled into orderly spikes. He and Jessica should have dated, I mused, they could have shared hair products.

"I'm Mike."

"Hi, Mike."

"And you are Bella?" he carried on, now walking beside me.

"I am."

"Do you need any help finding your next class?"

What was with these people? I internally groaned but stated, "I'm heading to the gym, actually. I think I can find it."

"That's my next class, too." He seemed thrilled, though it wasn't that big of a coincidence in a school as small as Forks.

We walked to class together; he was a chatterer - he supplied most of the conversation, which made it easy for me. He had lived in California until he was ten, so he knew how it felt to be the new kid. It turned out he was in my English class also.

As we entered the gym, he asked, "Do you mind sitting alone in Bio?"

"Not at all," I replied honestly.

"If I our seats weren't assigned I would sit next to you from now on."

Warning bells went off in my mind. I had never had many admirers as a youth but I knew the signs. I smiled at him, already planning a swift departure from his presence and ways in the future to avoid the boy. He had been friendly but it had not been enough to ease my discomfiture.

The Gym teacher, Coach Clapp, found me a uniform but did not make me dress down for the day's class. PE was mandatory and my own personal hell. I feared participating. With my strength I could easily injury a teammate. Hell, I could probably spike a volleyball through the gym floor. In the end I watched the four games being played and was thankful that the teacher assumed that I had no athletic ability.

The final bell rang at last. I fled the gym, walking inhumanly fast, but conscious of who was watching me, slowing to a more normal pace as I passed groups of swarming teens, anxious to escape the confines of school. Returning to the office to drop off my paperwork I noted that the rain had subsided but that the wind had grown strong, and cold. I put on my coat.

"How did your first day go, dear?" the receptionist asked maternally.

"Fine," I told her.

As the school grounds emptied I disappeared among and broke into a run. It felt good to be moving, jumping, leaping. I was weary from acting human all day. Their lives were so short and yet they were forced to plod along in such a sedate fashion. It seemed unfair.

My hair wiped out behind me as I sailed through the sea of green. Our house was empty when I returned, quiet and devoid of Charlie, who was likely still at the station. I would get my homework out of the way and have dinner prepared for him when he arrived home. And then I would hunt.

- - - - -

My second day was strikingly similar to my first. People continued to stare at me and whisper. The news had spread quickly who I was living with and that I had spent most of my life in Europe before arriving in Forks. Mike and Eric sat on either side of me in English. Jessica invited me to sit at her lunch table once more, which I declined. She was sorely disappointed; I think she may have seen me as a door to popularity and from the looks of it, to Mike Newton.

"I have to study American History in the library during lunch," I told her.

Mike, passing by us, butted into our conversation, "They're forcing you to spend lunch in the library?" He was horrified.

"At my school in Russia we didn't really spend any time on American History," I lied smoothly, "and I really need to catch up." I had effectively removed myself.

Biology improved, the weather had turned drier and Mr. Banner opened a few of the classroom's small windows.

Gym was miserable. The teacher informed me that I would be on Mike's team for the afternoon. I intentionally missed the ball each time it came in my direction and failed to serve when it was my turn. Jessica snickered with one of her friends, a willowy blond named Lauren. "She might be beautiful and smart but she certainly isn't good at everything!" I glared in her direction, watching as both girls blinked and looked away, their hearts beating like jackhammers.

In fact, school continued that way through the holiday break in December. More than one student attempted to entice me into attending some kind of vacation event but like prior invitations to join in on weekend activities I had refused.

"The Chief is super strict," I would tell them trying my hand at whining, "He doesn't let me do anything." They would nod sadly and offer their condolences.

Charlie and I had settled into our routines. Unused to living with someone he worked a lot and when he had free time he preferred to spend it fishing. I was fond of reading and studying. Every few days I would empty my school bag and sprint down to Seattle in order to borrow as many books as the city library would allow. The local library had been so pathetic that I had not bothered to get a card. I rediscovered music and was researching Eastern religions and philosophies. There was the idea that life was about finding a balance; that the true key to understanding was within all of us, through self-development. I wanted to believe that even I could achieve that balance, between the good in me and the evil that I had done. So, at night, as my brother sat watching sports, I would practice yoga in the small bedroom I never used for sleeping. My body was more flexible than the most seasoned yogi but the positions helped me find a center and a calm that I did not know had been missing from my life.

It wasn't until we returned to school in January that I learned what the others had all been discussing since our last parting. Soon I would no longer be the new kid in town. A doctor was coming to the Forks hospital from Alaska and bringing with him his wife and five children, who would all be enrolling at the high school. I was pleased that my fellow students had found a new distraction, all but turning their attention away from me entirely. I hoped that these children would be more gracious about their coming popularity than I had been.

* * * * *

A/N - Thank you for reading and allowing me to share my current obsession with you. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!

Next chapter - Edward.

Disclaimer - Twilight does not belong to me.


	4. Protect Me From What I Want

Chapter 4 - Protect Me From What I Want

Edward

We were relocating again; leaving Alaska and our friends there, to start out once again in a new town and at a new school. Carlisle had taken a job at a hospital in Washington state near a little place we had once made our home, quite some time ago, when it was only Carlisle, Esme, and myself. Forks had been made up of loggers, rough town folk, and the Quileute tribe then. Those living there today still survived on the logging trade though the area was arguably more civilized.

Alice's visions regarding our move had been broad but the town looked pleasant enough. The place itself was green with bleak, gray skies and rain. Never ending rain. With few specifics she could tell us very little other than that we would be happy there as a family. She was mainly focused on Jasper though and how he would manage being within close proximity to so many humans again.

My sister and I planned to monitor him closely once we made the move to the lower forty-eight. Being the most recent convert to our alternative life-style, as so-called vegetarians, he was still having the most difficulty.

Focusing on Jasper was not necessarily a pleasurable experience, he had a tendency to dwell on his thirst for human blood, which doubled my own and kept it foremost in my thoughts. At other times he imagined himself and Alice in ways I shuddered to think of; I could not decide which was worse. However my brother was still far more interesting than thinking about yet another sophomore year. I had already completed several degrees, ranging from high school to medical and back again. But I was not exceptional in my family; each of us was forced to begin in high school every time we moved. New town, new school, same classes, tedium, and aggravation.

Tanya was looking for me. I heard the approaching thoughts before the footsteps that accompanied them. I knew what she wanted to ask me, she had been mulling over the coming conversation for the past few days. I sighed, unhappy that I would have to disappoint a friend.

_Where to start?_ She thought.

"I always prefer the beginning," I grinned.

_You're leaving._

I nodded, "My family is moving on, yes."

"You could stay here with us," _With me_, she silently added.

I grimaced. I never wanted to lead Tanya on; I was always a gentleman but never more than friendly. "I can't," I replied with honesty. "I am sorry if I hurt you."

She was quiet, _When you came here, I thought…_ She didn't need to finish.

"I know and I apologize."

_Ever the gentleman_. "Well, if you leave before I see you again. Goodbye, Edward."

"Goodbye, Tanya." My rejection bothered her more than she was willing to let on; I doubted she would want to see me again before we departed.

Once back at the house, Esme, my mother for all intents and purposes, saw that something was upsetting me immediately. She, perceptive as usual, guessed correctly. "Tanya invited you to stay." I nodded. _Oh, Edward. I want you to be happy but I hope that we do not lose you._

"I politely refused."

She smiled sadly and place a tender hand on my shoulder, "One day you will meet the right girl for you. I know it."

"Thank you," I replied, placing my palm over hers for a moment.

It was then that my siblings scrambled into the room, probably already aware of what had transpired between Tanya and myself.

Emmett grinned and slapped me on the back, "Are we talking about Edward's dream girl?"

My eyes narrowed, as a warning, in his direction. "Don't start."

_Oh, come on! They all know about her._ I frowned. _Stalker._ And with that I growled, lunging at him.

"Boys!" Esme scolded, causing us to break apart immediately. My bear of a brother laughed while I continued to scowl at him and would bide my time until our next out of doors wrestling match.

- - - - -

I love my family and we all have our quirks: Rosalie was a shallow pool enamored most by her own beauty, Emmett was too fond of fighting, Jasper pushed his limits, and Alice was so damned stubborn. But how could I fault them when they had to deal with me, constantly, inside their heads; private thoughts and secrets were near impossible.

While I was the only single member, my family never made me feel out of place or alone. Of course I had my moments; melancholy times when I wished for a partner. I wanted to share my life with someone, another, who was my own to love and cherish. Living with three couples, day in and day out, I knew what to expect of a relationship. So, it was not merely the physical aspect that I thought of, at least not entirely, it was hard to miss what I had never experienced.

The night could be lonely. Human activity ceased, their world shrouded in darkness as they slept. In our home there was plenty of sound. But the noise I could ignore, focusing instead on my studies, reading, or music. The house crashing down around me though? That was harder to block-out. Those nights, which I had coined "Full Moon Nights", were times that my family would seemingly, in a disturbing harmony, howl to the moon so to speak, destroying any and all things in their path. On those occasions I would flee.

One such evening I found myself stalking a mountain lion through Lolo National Forest. It was the early 1980's, a frightening period when Alice bought copious amounts of acid wash denim and neon for us all. A combination that I had flatly refused to entertain to her my sister's chagrin. I had been forced into the jeans but managed to keep my shirts to muted gray tones. We were living as a family in Kalispell, Montana. A small city of some twenty-thousand people in the far northwest of the state. We were immensely popular in town; Carlisle the handsome young doctor, his beautiful wife, and five exemplary teenaged wards. My siblings and I would have preferred a more culturally prominent place on either coast but Esme loved the quaint Main Street atmosphere. The area did boast near constant cloud cover and none of us could complain about that.

We had chosen Kalispell, not only for it's lack of sun but also due to it's abundant wildlife; the city reached out to Glacier National Park on one side as well as the national forest on another. The open skies were awe-inspiring and at night, when the clouds lifted, millions of stars were visible against the lush, black velvet backdrop.

That night I was running south, on a solo adventure or sorts. After gorging myself on the lion's blood I had decided to visit Yellowstone and Old Faithful before returning home for school in the morning. Midway into my journey I first caught her scent; it was vampire and it was intoxicating. The most exquisite perfume ever created. My yearnings to see the park and her geyser forgotten as I sprinted past and continued south. She had passed through the region before I arrived but, I figured, could not be far ahead. Her scent was fresh. She turned westward and immediately and with out a thought to what I was doing, I followed her into the mountains.

My body burned. I had never known an all consuming passion for a woman. Before I was changed I had been eager to enlist, to go to Europe and fight in the great war. There was little time to concern myself with courting. Since then I had believed that I was nominally complete in myself, not even realizing that I had been seeking her.

I was weak in the knees though I knew that to be impossible. I had not seen her face or heard her voice but she had captured me, body and soul. Her scent screamed to me: young, female, exhilarated, frightened, blossoming, vampire. Was this what it had been like for Carlisle in that first moment with Esme? Had my siblings had these reactions to one another? I knew her instinctively. Rosalie had seen it in Emmett when she found him and carried him home to us. Alice saw what she would find with Jasper.

Finally, I was close, coming up behind her but I held back and remained at a distance, following her by sound. She stopped along the mountain road, not resting, but waiting. As I looked out over the rocky peaks ahead of us I played with the idea of moving further toward her; far away enough to stay concealed but perhaps close enough to hear her thoughts. In such a remote place there would be no other voices to contend with.

The wind changed then and brought with it the powerful smell of a human. Who would be out in such a place? A hitch-hiker maybe, traveling through the night. The scent was surprisingly overwhelming in such an isolated area. My mouth filled with venom, making me even more thankful for the lion who had fed me earlier, filling my stomach with the warm, welcome blood of a predator.

Perhaps I had lived with my family of animal-eaters so long that I had forgotten that others of our kind still existed, surviving on the lifeblood of human beings. And as I tracked the strange and beautiful scent of my young vampire I was swiftly reminded of that fact. She had killed the girl; a teen, dirty and alone. Left beside the highway, her body stretched out and broken. The wretched thing did not even have shoes. Her throat had been neatly opened, there was no blood wasted, but there was something savage in the kill. It appeared as if she had been half-starved, and wild. Desperate to feed. But her haste made me believe that she was nervous. Had she heard or smelled me? She had not waited to find out who I was. She was gone.

Glancing down at my feet I nudged the girls bare leg with my toe but it was a hollow gesture, she was clearly dead. I debated burying the body. Or moving it closer to civilization in hopes that someone might find her before the animals dragged her apart. The smell of the blood was tantalizing, so fresh and so close. It was nearly impossible to think. The monster wanted a kill for himself. And then he wanted to go after the mystery scent, find her, and take her. Claim her. Climb on top of her, hold her down and run his tongue the length of her neck. Make her moan and beg.

Uncomfortable, hard as steel, and disgusted at myself, I left the body where it was and attempted to forget both the allure of the dead girl and the aroma of her killer. The things in one night that her scent had made me question, think, or second guess were overwhelming. I needed a clear head and knew I would only find it in the opposite direction. Returning the same way that I had come, I went home to Montana and my family. Once there I intended to seek Carlisle's council immediately.

Part of me still hoped to head west, after her but when I proposed the idea to Carlisle, he gazed at me with sincere fatherly concern. "Edward, I would never stop you from going. Your mother, your siblings, we would all miss you but we want you to be happy. It would be selfish of us to keep you here." I nodded, already mapping out my route. Traveling light, I would cross the Rocky Mountains and head toward the pacific ocean, tracking her by that luscious scent. I suspected that her destination was Oregon. But had that been her final stop?

"Edward," I snapped to attention as my father called my name. "She has clearly made quite an impression on you," he smiled kindly. "But the girl," he debated, "that she killed." My throat flamed at the memory, "How did that make you feel?"

Honesty was something that Carlisle had grown to expect from me and I refused to disappoint him; he was trying to provide council. "Hungry," I sighed, running a hand over my face and through my hair. He urged me to continue. "But I feel that way every damned day that I'm at that school, children passing me, sitting beside me. The smell of them, crammed into classrooms, clogs my throat with fire. And then Jasper," I paused, not want to to divulge his secrets, and lowered my voice, "constantly in my head thinking about his hunger, doubling my own. But I never act; I control it. It does not control me."

"Good." He stood, coming around the front of his desk, and standing before me. "But will you be able to stop yourself, with her, night after night? Fresh, flowing human blood is far different, far more difficult to ignore, than your brother's errant daydreams." I thought of the prior nights temptation; a mixture of her and the blood. My mouth instantly filled with venom, nearly spilling over my lips.

I shook my head in hopes of clearing it, "I'll show her our way."

"And if she refuses? If she can't understand how we live. What will you do then?"

"Is this an interrogation?" I growled, angry at the direction of his questions.

"No," my father sighed, seemingly unsurprised by my explosive reaction. "Son, I just want you to understand the consequences of your decision. Please, take a moment, look at this from all sides." He watched me as I attempted to calm myself. "Remember what you were like, how you felt, when you came back to us last time. How ashamed you were." We sat, each mulling over his words and thinking back on those days. "You have come so far, Edward and no matter what you may believe, I know that you are good."

"But the choice is mine to make?" I asked, standing.

"Always. And we will care for you, support you, and wish you the best, no matter what conclusion that you ultimately come to."

My mind though, had been made up; if I went to her the monster would win out over the self. He would own me once more. I could not do that to my parents or my siblings. Force them to watch what I would become. So I followed Carlisle's noble example: I did what was best for others and put my own wants and needs second to theirs. I gave her up and committed myself to suffering her loss in silence.

I chose not to share her with my family, asking my father to keep our discussion between us. Alice seemed oblivious. I assumed that she had seen nothing out of the ordinary. My mind had been so unsettled, torn in too many directions. My future would have been an ever changing vortex had she attempted to examine it. And she had been extraordinarily occupied that evening.

Esme, for weeks after that night, hoped to discern the root of what was troubling me. She refused to approach Carlisle with her worry; afraid of putting him in a difficult position. Nor did she want to intrude on my privacy. None of my siblings noticed a difference in my behavior but I _had _changed.

Where once I had immersed myself in learning, I could think of nothing but her. I scribbled about her in journals, first sonnets then longer poems, and later I wrote epics in which I played the besotted knight to her distant lady. Seated at my piano I composed a piece for her, a lullaby that I played each night, hoping that as darkness fell she was safe and happy. I burned for her. My body suddenly aware, perhaps for the first time, what it physically needed to continue. The thing that made eternal life worth living.

Her face was impossible to create, no visage in the history of the world had been lovely enough to match that scent, which was uniquely hers. My longing for her was all-consuming. I imagined her as I gripped myself roughly, rutting against my own palm. Picturing myself buried deep within her wild, wet, heat and enveloped by that scent. Coming in my hand, ashamed by my lack of self-control and berating myself for my behavior, I thought that she had made me more like the school boy I posed as than the grown, eighty year old man, that I was.

- - - -

Sixteen years later, an entire lifetime for an actual teenaged boy, I was studying for another college degree. My first in English; I occupied myself with classical and medieval writings. Emmett, Rosalie, and I were all attending Bates College. We had been living in Maine for less than two years at that time but were enjoying the cold and snow. I found that the dark clouds and brisk winds reflected my mood. We were with out Alice and Jasper in our new home; they were traveling, living on their own but I knew that they would return soon enough.

My life had settled into something resembling normal, but it was a reflected copy of what it had been before her. There was an emptiness to me that I had learned to exist around, to push it to the back of my mind. And then, just as suddenly as the first time, I crossed her path again.

Her scent was headier than I remembered it being; she had matured, managing to become even more alluring. My body reacted immediately. All other thought vanished in a haze of want. The lust I felt for her had diminished over the years but it had never cooled; always a glowing ember at the back of my mind. Reignited, in a flash of recognition, the fire burned me from the inside out, nearly reducing me to ash. I was consumed.

Emmett and I were on a hunting trip; the two of us taking a break and tracking big game. We moved along the eastern most border of the state and it's closest neighbor, New Brunswick, Canada. Traveling through the thick evergreen forest around Lake Gardner, as I stalking a cougar, my brother howled in delight, having discovered a massive black bear. I stood frozen in place, intensely reminded of that night and desperately wishing that Emmett would stop his crowing and shut up. The scent had hit me like a wrecking ball, like a battering ram. There were no words passionate enough to encapsulate the force of what happened to me. In an instant, I was nothing close to the human I had once been; no trace of the shreds of humanity I'd managed to cloak myself in remained. I was an animal, a monster. That part of me called out to her, the thing I coveted most. My craving insatiable. I followed with out question, leaving my brother to wonder.

She was closer to the bay, her scent mingled with the briny smell of the water. I got the sense that she was standing still, unmoving. Had she felt my nearness?

Every step I took away from Emmett and toward her stripped me of the guise of a young gentleman. I was a man and a predator. She was my prey. Nothing would stop me from taking her and finally laying my claim. All over her. My stomach twisted but not with hunger. It was the primal urge to consume. I had not known such a ravenous need could exist and wondered how I had survived all of my years in its absence.

_Where are you going in such a hurry?_ Emmett asked, running behind me. He was no match for my speed and fell back a few paces.

"She's mine," I shouted, growling.

_What? Who?_ And then he caught her scent. _Who's up there?_ He wondered, _Anyone we know?_

I calculated that with the correct trajectory I could leap the coming stream and exponentially increase my speed, keeping ahead of him and buying myself time with her. It would not be long though, she would have to move with me. I hoped it would be willingly.

_Edward!_ He thought, _Why are you running so damn fast? Show off._

The smell of her grew more intense as I approached. But I could not hear her voice. I thrashed wildly, angrily, through the trees, nearly uprooting some of the younger ones. The sound of the waves crashing against the rocks and the lapping of the ocean against the rough beachfront indicated that I had reached the end of my journey. I burst forth from the thick wall of greenery and saw her but only for a fraction of a second. She was surprised.

I glimpsed a flash of porcelain, white skin, nearly luminescent in the light of the moon. A swath of thick, dark hair, fell halfway down her back in soft waves. And then a single splash as she slipped past the rocks and vanished beneath the black water.

Emmett caught up with me one step from the ocean's edge. He grabbed my arm in a vice like grip and swung me around to face him. "What the hell?" he demanded. He was furious. Concerned.

"Let me go," I bellowed, already knowing that I would be too late and unable to track her in the ocean.

"Volturri?" My brother asked. With a look at his tremulous face I felt some of my anger ebb.

I sighed, "No," and dropped to the ground, sitting with my head in my hands. "It was a girl."

Silence, he eyed me in confusion. Then burst out laughing. "All this," he snorted, "is over some girl?"

"Not _some_ girl," I snapped. "The girl. And she fucking got away from me. Again." Rage welled up within me as I screamed in anguish. Leaping to my feet, I tossed a small boulder, bashing it against another, slightly larger rock. The subsequent explosion when they collided was mildly satisfying.

_So, he does know her_, my brother thought. And so I laid out the entire situation for him; recounted that night when we lived in Montana and the conversation with Carlisle that followed it. I left out everything that had come after; keeping my obsession and gratuitous self-gratification private. My family already knew too much about each others personal affairs and I was certain that Emmett had made some assumptions about the copious time I spent alone.

He was thoughtful for a moment, "I guess she's really changed since then."

What? How could he possibly have thought that? I wanted to know what he knew. I was jealous, envious. Of Emmett. Horrifying.

"I like her style," he grinned. "Was she using him as a prop or a chair or something?" I glanced around and saw it. A giant black bear, apparently curled up, asleep, its large paws tucked neatly under his head. But it was dead.

I thought back, trying to see my entrance into the clearing through the near crippling haze of lust that had overtaken me. "She was leaning against him. But she bolted."

"You understand that you scared the shit out of her, right?" My shoulders slumped in defeat. "She's not a deer, Bro. You can't hunt her. Women want to be wooed, not stalked."

"I was not stalking."

_What would you call it then?_

"Making a concerted effort to get close enough to see her face. Or at least hear her. Know who she is. What she's thinking."

"I'm sure she was thinking, 'Oh goody! A stalker! Please read my every thought you serious hunk of man-meat!'."

The confusion I felt must have been written all over my face, "What?"

_Nothing._ "But you don't know much about women, do you?"

Dejected, I admitted, "I really don't."

"Well, next time, try not to jump out of the bushes, lunging at her like a caveman."

"What should I do?"

"Go to her. Watch her, but not too close. Just close enough that she knows you're there. Don't challenge her."

"Yeah," I agreed. "Then what?

He shrugged, "Let her come to you."

"And that works?"

"Every time." _Oh man. When I make Rose come to me? She is so fired up, so ready for it, so fucking hot._ I did my best to block those thoughts. "I'm going to leave you to think about that," he was nodding to himself. "I'm gonna go home. Now."

"Want to go back for the truck?"

_Nope_. He was already running south along the coastline. _Just bring it back tomorrow_.

I watched him leave and turned, in search of more actual prey. I had a distinct urge to kill something.

The next day I drove home in Emmett's Jeep. A weak sun trying to break through the gray, overcast skies. It looked like snow.

I planned to return to my family, to college, and to my studies. After my brother left me I had wandered, running lazily between Maine and her Canadian neighbor, thinking. When finally I found myself standing in the same place she had disappeared from, watching a breathtaking sunrise, with no where else to go, I perched on an outcropping of rocks and looked out over the rough, cold Atlantic. Her scent remained though mildly diluted, still heady with promise. But my head was clear; the sexually possessive, even aggressive conduct I had exhibited caused me to feel a mixture of guilt, embarrassment, and mystery. I had not meant to share so much with Emmett, nor would I have wanted him to see me behaving like a depraved beast. But I had felt, for the lack of a better word, intoxicated.

In the cold light of the morning, the monster was once again caged within me. I chose, for the second time, not to go after her. I could not imagine being the man I had been the night prior; she deserved better. I doubted that I would be able to forgive myself if I ever acted on my lecherous fantasies. My heart was already filled with shame over the murders I had committed during my wild years. Hate was too weak of a word for how I would feel about myself. So I followed my father's advice from sixteen years earlier and I let her go.

- - - - -

For another three years I thought of her everyday, imagined holding her, kissing her, fucking her. Spending every moment of our damned and eternal futures together. I completed my degree and hoping to escape for at least a little while, intended to travel through Europe. Alone. Instead, at the last moment, caught by some indulgent fantasy as I sped down the interstate, I swung my car around and drove north. Heading away from the Portland airport I wondered if Alice, so far away, had seen it coming.

Driving nearly double to posted speed limit I found myself crossing into New Brunswick in only a few short hours. I had never been much of a tracker but Emmett's advice was still fresh in my mind: if I found her I would wait, watch, and let her come to me. I parked my car a short ride up the highway, leaving it in the parking lot of Walmart, preferring to travel on foot.

Over the next week I visited every major city, and some of the fairly minor ones, along the eastern shores and southern provinces of Canada. She, as far as I could tell, had visited none of them. Finally, frustrated and unsure of my own abilities, I abandoned my hunt in Winnipeg, the dull skies calling me home. I was aware that I was leaving her behind again but the difference was that I knew I would return. I would regroup and think my plan through. For too many years I had relied on human transportation and was out of my depth in following her movements. The girl was a wandering loner, always on foot, never settling. It was acute misery.

And when I did ultimately hunt her down it was due exclusively to Jasper's advice. After my first failed attempt and my subsequent return home, I discovered, to my delight, that he and Alice had rejoined us.

"You're not thinking like her," Jasper explained. "Edward, you're too civilized. A vampire like her would never live in a city, surrounded by people, risking exposure."

I was surprised that I had never considered that. She was an unbound nomad. Once the idea was out there, I knew it to be correct in ever fiber of my being.

"And she's young, right?"

I nodded in affirmation, "A couple of decades. But I can only assume," I added with a sigh.

"And we know that she travels alone?"

I growled. "Yes." Of that I was positive.

Jasper raised his hands to show that he meant no harm and then fell into a short respite of silence. He looked thoughtful. "A young female vampire, survives on the blood of animals, not people," he paused to look at me, "at least we think," and I agreed. "Never stays in one place long enough to leave more than a trace of her scent and certainly never long enough for you to find her. Is that it?" he asked standing.

With my head in my hands I groaned, "Her scent. It's unbelievable."

My brother spared a glance for Alice who sat, staring at a book of color swatches, her eyes going in and out of focus. She was already planning the decorating scheme of our next house, looking forward to see which colors would be most suited to our needs. And then he grinned at me, "You've got it bad," and shook his head, giving me a sad but knowing smile. And then it was his turn to groan, his shoulders slumping and eyes closing in something akin to ecstasy, "But the way the right one smells? Amazing."

I pleaded, "How do I find her?"

"Easy," he told me. "Go north."

"North?" I repeated.

"She's probably always on the move: Canada, Asia, Europe, U.S., making a constant circuit." I watched as he drew out a rough map and travel plan in his mind. "That's how they usually operate."

Jasper imagined our meeting in Maine, saw her vanish under the waves as I had described to him, and then emerging along the same coastline, only further north, near Newfoundland. He thought of her hunting large game, staying to the trees and barren lands far from the little luxuries of cities where she would be tempted, or perhaps be confronted by others of our kind. She moved swiftly over land and across large bodies of dark, clear water. Going steadily west, seeking the vast emptiness, she would be drawn to the frozen seas and hunting further afield.

_Probably in the territories. Quiet and peaceful there. A few humans, abundant animal life. Great hunting._ He saw himself tackling a large grey wolf before the picture morphed into a man; Jasper shook out his blonde locks and mumbled a guilty, "Sorry."

"You weren't serious," Alice informed him.

"No blood, no foul," I agreed.

So, I would first travel north, starting along the coast and then moving toward the Hudson. After that, west to Nunavut, the Northwest Territories, and the Yukon. Perhaps even as far as Alaska, hoping to find her before she plunged into the Bering Straight.

"Don't bother," Alice giddily hummed, dancing over to us. "Go straight to the Yukon. There's a small cabin. That's where you find her." I didn't question her vision. I left within the hour.

My sister was correct, of course. But Alice had not seen her, the girl. Only me finding the tiny space that had belonged to her. It was abandoned, empty, when I reached it but she had not been gone long before I arrived. I waited, optimistic that she would soon come back. That we would finally meet.

Over the next weeks I settled into her domicile, lived life as she did, dwelling among her remaining possessions. Her scent surrounded me, beautiful and over-powering. She had left books: heavy, wordy tomes written in Russian as well as some battered paperbacks in a myriad of languages and in varying degrees of disintegration. A few scattered pieces of clothing, saturated in her, and some crude sticks of furniture were the only other evidence that she had called that isolated cabin home. There was nothing overly personal that I found but perhaps she had taken those things with her. I discovered that living as she did was a lonely but culturally valuable existence. And it made me love her. Not just her aroma, but the person that she had been and was then. That place made her more than an obsession. It made her someone real.

After a month I left. My family would be making the move to Alaska in a short period of time and I planned to greet them when they arrived. I was careful to leave everything as I had found it, ready for her return, whenever it would be. But in my final moment, overtaken by a desperate longing, I stole a ratty, moth-eaten emerald green sweater that had been left draped over the back of a rigid wooden chair. Her scent was strongest on it and I intended to keep it with me; my most precious possession.

* * * * *

A/N - Thank you for reading! And indulging my little obsession. Two more chapters just about ready and will be up soon.

And I promise - they actually meet, in person, in the next chapter.

Combining a second obsession with this one - I've post Bella & Edward's outfits on Polyvore - please follow the link in my profile if you want to see them.


	5. Teenage Angst

A/N - Some direct borrowing from Twilight & Midnight Sun in this chapter. (Sort of)

Chapter 5 - Teenage Angst

Edward

The Olympic Peninsula was almost exactly as I remembered it; the gray sky meeting the green treetops and reaching as far as the eye could see. There were houses, busy box-stores, and a myriad of brightly colored cars zipping down the highway but overall little had changed. It was late winter; the skies impossibly darker. But spring would come soon enough, bringing a rise in temperature if not weather conditions.

Our new home sat far back from the road, up a secluded, wooded drive. Esme was planning vast improvements to the property. The first day we set about picking our rooms, arranging and rearranging furniture, and unpacking. I chose the room at the top of the stairs, the last door down a long hallway. The room faced south, with a wall-sized window like the great room below. The whole back side of the house was glass. The views were stunning. I looked down upon the winding Sol Duc River and across the untouched forest to the Olympic Mountain range. The room itself was smaller than some of the other options but as it was only me I saw no reason to demand more space than I personally required. There would be ample room for my large leather sofa, books, and electronics. As always my piano would reside below where all could enjoy it.

That evening, feeling restless, I left my family and slipped out into the extensive woods behind our house. I darted along the river, launching myself from a flat stone firmly embedded along the bank, and landed soundlessly on the other side of the water. The trees were tightly packed and the forest felt alive beneath my feet. I was giddy, inhaling the dense, wet forest air. I could smell everything from the damp earth to the animals seeking shelter and the aromatic pines that surrounded me. I was engulfed in the moment. Simply content to exist. It was something I had not felt in a long while.

I moved deeper, farther from the house, pulled. The wind shifted and brought with it that most torturous of perfumes: her. Deviating from my original path I spun and moved westward. It was not a conscious act but rather something instinctual. It was compulsory. The scent ruled completely. I was single-minded as I traced it, aware only of my own burning need and the one who could bring me release. How had she come to be there? Practically in my own backyard? Throbbing, pulsing, yearning; those feelings were unsettling but the drive to know, to possesses, overpowered me. A million questions ran through my mind in a matter of seconds. Where was she? Was she close by?

Attempting to follow her, finding the path that she had taken through the trees, was impossible. That perfume lingered on every trunk, every branch. She had not merely passed through but had gone back and forth repeatedly, spreading her essence and imbuing herself on the entire landscape. I mulled over the possibilities; ideas coming to mind and being dismissed within milliseconds. But, in the end, the only plausible option was that she had been living somewhere nearby, very recently, and used the woods constantly. Probably doing as I was: hunting, running, enjoying herself.

I noted that my body had reacted to her scent long before my mind had caught up with it. My carefree, wild behavior of moments ago was the result. As was the steel pole pressed against the zipper of my jeans. Briefly I contemplated rushing off to find her. But instead I turned back toward our home and my family. It was easier than in years past; the onslaught of her aroma was as powerful as it had always been but I was more in control. I expected the strong reaction from myself and managed to restrain the impulse. Gritting my teeth, I knew I would need my families help. The monstrous urges were ever present but those weeks, now almost a year ago, that I had spent in her cabin had soothed the beast. I was conditioned. But I would have her.

Once closer to the house I discovered that I had not been the only one in the woods that night. Jasper had also escaped into the lush green canopy outside our doors. He had hoped to prepare himself for another assault on his senses from the children at our new school. His hunger drew him away from Alice; his fear for the coming days separating him from the rest of us. Catching the scent of some local mule deer he sought to quench his thirst and dull his reaction to the humans.

He had smelled her. Among the evergreens, that heady aroma, all her own, which hung heavily in the mist. Jasper, unlike me, immediately returned to warn our family. And protect Alice. The reaction was extreme but predictable. His first instinct was always to safeguard his mate, no matter how many times she told him that she was perfectly capable of looking after herself.

I heard them before I crossed the river. "It's to protect us all," Rosalie hissed.

No one replied but Carlisle was organizing his thoughts. I did not need to hear them to know what he would say. In his mind I saw the lines being drawn; Rosalie sat directly across from our father, Emmett sat beside her, Jasper stood against the wall behind her. Esme and Alice sat somewhere in the middle of the long dining table but closer to Carlisle.

Alice's eyes were focused on something far away. The future, still too indistinct for her to make use of it. The only solid image was that of a fight. Would I fight my _family_ over a girl that I had never met?

I thought about it for a moment, thought about the scent, the need, the burning. I approached the french doors that would inevitably pit me against them in the coming argument. The answer was already formed. Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper. I would pull them to pieces for her. To have her. Bursting into the room I snarled, "She's mine. No one touches her." To say that they were surprised would be a serious understatement.

Going up against three of my siblings would be difficult; I doubted that I would be a match for them alone. Would the girl stand and fight beside me? My parents would never condone our actions but other than protecting me I had trouble believing that they would risk our family over her. Alice it seemed, remained undecided. She was likely to side with the winner. So taking the girl and simply running, was my most realistic option. They wished her gone more than they wanted her dispatched.

"Edward," Carlisle said, eyeing me with concern.

"It's not personal," Rosalie said through her teeth. I made a move for her, flying across the room, but was blocked by Emmett.

"We are just discussing, Edward. Nothing is happening right now," my father reassured me, his expression still quizzical. _What has gotten into him?_ His thoughts were frantic though his cool visage betrayed nothing.

Esme watched me. Alice saw nothing but our future.

"What is your problem?" Rosalie demanded. _It's just some little young thing. Why does he care so much?_ "She puts us all at risk." Jasper remained resolute behind her as my other brother continued to stand before me like an angry bear.

"Rosalie," our father began, "it is not our place to decide the fate of the others of our kind."

"She could bring the Volturri down on us!" Alice minutely shook her head but Rosalie carried on. "This is our territory. We can not just stand aside as she hunts on it. I am just being responsible."

I growled, receiving confused glares from all present.

"That is being callous," Carlisle told her gently. "Every life is precious."

Rosalie sighed heavily and her lower lip pouted out. Emmett stepped away from me to pat her shoulder. "It'll be fine, Rose," he encouraged in a low voice.

Our father looked out, "The question is whether we should move on?"

"No," Rosalie intoned immediately. "We should not have to surrender our territory. I _like_ it here. There is so little sun that Alice said we get to be almost _normal_."

"But is it our place anymore than it is hers?" We all looked around, unsure of the answer.

I was rooted to the floor, barely able to control my own rage but ground out around my locked jaw, "No."

Rosalie scoffed. Esme asked, "What is it, Edward? Tell us."

"She has clearly been here awhile. Her scent," I inhaled, groaned, "it's everywhere."

"I see," Carlisle nodded, understanding breaking over his face.

"We have been gone a very long time. Who is to say that this place is still ours?"

Alice finally spoke. "I think we should live here, with her, together." Jasper shot her a look as he imagined stalking the scent, finding her, and tearing her apart. I understood why. Before they had met, he had lived in a combat zone, a relentless war. He knew the consequences of flouting the rules, of young vampires who got out of control. He had seen the grisly aftermath with his own eyes.

In my sister's visions I was managing to cut him off; each time a little earlier than the last, but the outcome was the same. I grinned, knowing that I would have the upper hand in that situation. "Stop it," Alice hissed. "Both of you."

"Don't bother telling me you can protect yourself, Alice. I already know that. I've still got to…"

"That's not what I was going to say," she interrupted. "I know you love me. Thanks. But I would really appreciate it if you didn't try to kill her. First of all, Edward's serious and I don't want the two of you fighting," she paused to offer me a small grin. "Secondly, she's the girl. The one."

"But, Alice," Jasper gasped.

"No. Edward loves her. She's the one he's been looking for."

I was locked in Alice's thoughts. I saw the future shimmer as Jasper's resolve floundered in the face of her unexpected request, in the information that she had provided him, everyone, with. This was _the_ her. Alice had called her the one. Finally. I knew I would have her. Alice had seen it. While she could not see her specifically in our collective futures she had caught a vivid slideshow of my reactions. _Edward,_ she told me with her thoughts, trying to keep the conversation private. _After what I just witnessed, I am never looking ahead for you again. Ever._ She shuddered delicately. Those images; my raw emotion, the ferocious roar that ripped from my naked body, the passion, forced me back and away from the room.

_Her!_ Esme was thinking, joy over taking her. But the things my sister had seen were not moments of loving whispers and cuddles, the soft romantic love shared between two equals. It had been dark, brutal, and all-consuming. The monster within me shifted, pacing his cage, and I feared my reaction.

I was running before I was out of the house. Heading in the opposite direction of my earlier trip, I allowed that heady scent to wash over me, to lead and I followed. Alice's thoughts had revived the animal. He was jubilant, sure of success, of claiming the girl whether she wished to be his or not.

I slowed my pace, glancing up, almost surprised, and finding myself at the local high school. The place I would be enrolling in a matter of days. Intoxicated, I wandered among the tables and benches outside, past the classrooms, and into the parking lot. Her perfume hung heavily, concentrated there. Was that a place where she enjoyed spending time? Milling around the small buildings, capturing the lingering smell of humans? Was it possible that she was a student? Unlikely.

Along the far edge of campus was another dense wood, an outcropping of trees that reached almost to the student common area. I wondered why they would bother to build such an outdoor meeting place when it rained nearly everyday.

Her scent pulled me in that direction, toward town. She was everywhere. I leaned against a dark, wet tree, its heavy weight against my overly sensitive flesh. If I pushed back I would uproot the thing but with the right amount of pressure I was overcome with need. Everywhere around me I smelled her. With a moan I reached into my overly tight dark jeans and released myself. My cock was sticky, pre-cum spread over the head, and pulsing. Running my palm over myself I tried to picture her. The dark halo of hair spilling over her face, blocking her from view, as her lips latched onto my dick. I would grab it, yanking, tugging, forcing her to move faster. Coming with an embarrassingly loud cry, I slumped to the ground, rocking back and forth in an attempt to calm myself.

I returned home once more. Carlisle was waiting for me. I wondered how I must appear to him; hair wild, clothes disheveled, face twisted in agony.

"Son," he started, "may I speak to you for a minute?"

I nodded, unsure of the words that would escape my lips if I opened them.

"Before we begin I feel I should tell you that I have already spoken with the others and they have all agreed." He glanced away from me and out the dark window behind. "It will be hardest for you, I know. But I want you to hear me out. Does that sound fair?"

My reply was a sigh of consent, nothing more.

"Thank you," he bobbed his head in a small bow, pressing his fingers together in front of his face. "I want you, and everyone else in our family to stay away from her," I gasped, ready to argue but he continued quickly. "Not forever, of course. But for now. Until we are settled. And know a little more about her."

I glared at him, feeling mutinous. The was monster enraged. But I remained honest with my father, "I don't know if I can."

"It is for her sake, Edward. We are a family of seven. She will be fairly intimidated that we are here in Forks, sharing her territory. She does not know us." There was sense in his words but still my body rebelled against the thought. "We do not want to scare her. A young, cornered vampire could become a larger threat to everything that we have built."

I stared at him, silent. "Search your feelings," he finally said. "If you truly care for her, you must know that keeping our distance is in her best interest as well as ours."

And he was right, though it twisted my guts to admit it, even to myself. "I love her," I told him in all truth.

"And I am very happy for you. That you have finally found someone."

Esme was upstairs studiously trying to ignore our conversation as she hung artwork on the walls of her and Carlisle's bedroom. _Edward! In love!_ She hummed happily to herself. If only she understood how dark my affections were; that my black soul had tainted those feelings already.

Begrudgingly I admitted, "I appreciate your trying to make her as comfortable as possible."

"I am afraid that we will have to let her come to us, son. She will either choose to stay away or approach us when she is sure that we do not present a threat to her survival here." I concurred. "You have waited so long, each time to be told that it is the wrong time, and here I am," he sighed, "doing it to you once more. I apologize." My jaw locked into place but I agreed to follow Carlisle's rules as long as I believed that they applied, then excused myself to my room. I had yet another date with my palm it would seem.

- - - - -

The days counting down to the Monday we would start at Forks High School passed quickly for my family, myself excluded. I barely managed to leave the house. Each step outdoors drew me to her, called me to the hunt of her scent, of her body. I however did as promised and resisted the temptation.

Our first day was made easier by the fact that Esme had managed to pre-register us. We needed only to arrive, pick-up our schedules and find our first classes. I had driven the Volvo. I was a sophomore and the car was brand new but we all agreed that it would still be less ostentatious than Rosalie driving her red convertible, BMW M3.

The moment I stepped from the car her scent assaulted me, enveloped me. Made me rock-hard. I sighed.

Alice giggled. "I think you have a class with her, Edward," she mentioned but could not go into detail.

"She goes here?" Rosalie's eyes narrowed. My sister and I shrugged, we were not entirely certain about the extent of her time at the school. The smell was awfully pervasive though.

Jasper moved closer to his mate, slipping a protective arm around her shoulders, which Alice snuggled into. "New school," she stated.

"Same old, same old," Emmett said, wrapped a large arm around Rose's waist. I pulled up the rear. As usual. Strange how my loneliness never used to affect me and how it had become the thing that most occupied my thoughts.

Students were starting to arrive. The sidewalk was crowded with teenagers all eager to stare at the new kids. A blonde boy and his friend, standing in front of an older van, watched us as we passed. "Would you check out that blonde," the second boy grinned.

The first rolled his eyes and breathed out in exasperation, "She's got nothing on Bella."

The second boy nodded. Rosalie's step faltered infinitesimally but I we all saw.

_God, what I wouldn't give to see Bella go at it with the blonde. Put that on tape and you'd make millions. Maybe even throw in the little one. They even kind of look like her._ He suddenly found himself in a position equally as difficult to hide as my own. But he was a perverted jackass.

_So are you_, a voice than sounded suspiciously like mine answered. Either way I did all in my power to block the mental image he was projecting.

A curly haired girl stopped to stare, her mouth dropping open. _Oh my God. Life is so totally unfair. Why do all the new kids have to look like models? Like having Bella here wasn't enough. First she has every guy in school drooling over her and now I have to put up with those two?_ I smiled. Teenagers were ridiculously self-involved. _Did he just smile at me? He's amazing! Look at that hair. That's sex hair! Should I smile back or play it cool?_ I immediately looked away; she was just disturbing.

I would have ignored her completely but then, quite unexpectedly, the girl thought of her supposed friend, Bella. The arresting image of her provided me with all the information about the girl I was so fascinated with. She was there, at Forks, a student like myself. And she was beyond gorgeous. She was flawless. She was amazing. She was named Isabella Swan, but went by Bella. She had a name. I nearly came undone.

Luminous skin. Large, round amber eyes. Full lips, pink and lush. A long sheet of wavy mahogany hair that brushed her waist. Petite but perfect tits. Slender curves. Delicate features. The purplish bruises beneath her eyes. She, Bella Swan, was my own brand of heroin.

By lunch I was in purgatory. We were more than half way through the school day and I still had not seen Bella with my own eyes. In fact, only Alice had caught a glimpse of her, fleetingly, in the hall after her second class. She couldn't stop thinking about it. Analyzing every detail. I wanted her to stop it. I wanted her to keep going. If there was a way to atone for my sins, this ought to count toward the tally in some measure.

_...and she had on this swirling, creamy, knit sweater. I loved it! Do you think she likes shopping? Do you think she might go with me to Seattle for our new spring wardrobes? _Alice prattled on.

Staring up at the cracks running through the plaster in the far corner of the cafeteria, imagining patterns into them that were not there, I attempted to tune out the voices that babbled like the gush of a river inside my head. Only her voice mattered and it was absent.

The humans around us were consumed by our being there. Tiresomely predictable. It was the same every time we moved. The males invented scenarios where they could draw my sisters away from their significant others, get them alone, peel their fashionable clothes off. It was good that only I was privy to such images; my brothers would have committed murder. But the females were infinitely worse. Daydreams of being wrapped in my arms, of whispers and kisses. Running their fingers through my untamable locks, or Jaspers. Having Emmett fight another boy for their affections. Sickening.

Jasper was already suffering. I sighed. _Edward_, Alice called to me, I rolled my eyes in her direction. _Is he alright? Or is it about her?_ A minute lifting of my shoulders informed her that it was not pressing and she let it drop.

_...but just look at them! Are they all seriously couples? I thought they were siblings. Ugh. But that boy with the bronze hair. Wow! He's all alone..._ The girl from the parking lot was contemplating us with the rest of her lunch table; everyone had their eye on us. A blonde girl beside her was whispering, "They don't really look alike do they?" The first girl shook her head.

"They remind me of Bella," a third, quieter girl who had largely kept to herself added. That comment did not please the other two in the slightest.

_Angela is such a suck up! It's always Bella this and Bella that. They never even hang out outside of school._ I was becoming rather adverse to the sound of the first girl, the vicious edge to her voice grated on me. But I would listen as long as she thought of Bella. Even if her comments made me want to tear her arms from her torso.

"They're all talking about us. Trying to figure out if we're really related. And if you're all quote, unquote, together," I told my family with a grin.

"Nothing ever changes," Rosalie exhaled, drumming her perfectly manicured nails on the cheap lunch table.

Every inane thought, I could hear them all. There were no more significant comments made. Discussion returned quickly to contemplating the new kids. We were shiny objects to a child.

Toward the end of the period, I caught the voice of the shy third girl once more. She had thought Bella's name. _I wonder if she would let me borrow her notes from last week when I was out sick. She's probably in the library working. I should leave now and ask before class. Bella always understands Biology, always pays attention. And with the test coming up_... She nodded to herself as she cleared her place at the table, offering her friends a small wave, which they basically ignored, and walked through the cafeteria doors.

To find Bella. Who spent lunch in the library. Alone. Christ Almighty, I had to grab my crotch, willing myself to relax. But she had Biology next. With a grin I happily noted that I as well was in that class. Initially I had been disappointed, being placed in a class so below my comprehension, but it fit in my schedule. There had been little choice. And now I would spend the rest of the year, basking in her presence, every damned day. How could Carlisle argue with that?

I was the first one to arrive to the Biology classroom. Overeager. The teacher signed my slip with a bored look, glancing down at his seating chart. "I'm afraid I have only one seat available, Mr. Cullen."

"Whatever works will be find for me," I lifted the corners of my mouth, hoping to seem unthreatening. My seat was unimportant. As long as I could be close to her, stare at her, watch her.

"Over there," he pointed, directing me to an empty table in the middle of the room.

As I took my seat she entered, escorted by the shy girl from lunch. Her closest friend I guessed. A rather plain human girl but she had made Bella smile as they chatted.

Bella Swan. An empty space, a quiet in the tumulus teenage storm of high school. Her silence should have irritated and unnerved me but instead it served to fuel my intense passion to know her. Completely.

She came closer, walking down the aisle as her friend took her own seat. _I hope the new guy's nice to Bella_, her friend thought kindly before the chair beside me was unceremoniously pulled out and_ she_ sat down.

Clearly wary of me, Bella did not utter one word, only removed her books from a soft, black leather shoulder bag that even Alice would have approved of. Her posture was stiff. She leaned away from me, sitting on the extreme edge of her chair and averting her face as if she could not stand the sight of me. I was stung. The monster growled, delighted at the apparent challenge that she had thrown down.

Sitting there, her scent hit me like a wrecking ball, like a battering ram. There was no image intense enough to encapsulate the force of what I yearned for in that moment. The others faded away; no room filled with spectators. I was only teeth and tongue, cock and cum. And I intended to show her what I could do with each of those things, repeatedly. The eighteen children and one man present meant nothing to me in my frenzy.

My hand gripped under the edge of the table as I tried to hold myself in the chair. The wood was not up to the task. My fingers crushed through the strut and I came away with a palmful of splintered pulp, leaving the shape of my hand carved into the remaining wood.

Bella shot me an annoyed look, shaking out her long, beautiful cascading hair in my direction, effectively blocking me from view. Was she insane? It only encouraged me, excited the beast who was perched so close that he could, finally, reach out and take her.

And, God. She was something to behold. A gorgeous fallen angel, on the planet to tempt men into sin. Half of the boys in class were thinking about her, fantasizing. Bob Banner, up front, included. I wanted to gouge their eyes from the sockets, crush them between my fingertips. Or rip their flaccid human pricks off. But I held it together; for her sake and for Carlisle. I would honor his behest. To a point.

She was wearing stylish clothes, which smelled expensive: a short denim skirt over gray cashmere leggings, a soft knit tunic, and expertly scuffed suede military boots. Her finely boned wrists were covered by dark blue fingerless mittens and she hid her lovely, expressive eyes behind a pair of Ray-Ban Aviators. Lastly, her necklace, it drew my attention immediately and not only because it was nestled between her achingly beautiful breasts. It was an heirloom piece, with a delicate Parisian cameo, restrung on a black silk ribbon. I pictured tying her up with silk ribbons, holding her my hostage, using her body, and bringing us both to ecstasy.

"Sunglasses off, please, Miss Swan," the teacher called out. "You too, Mr Cullen," he added with a shake of his head. _Kids. _He sighed.

"Sorry, Mr Banner," Bella grinned, removing hers but still studiously ignoring me. He smiled back simperingly. They were wrapped around her little finger.

I felt like an amateur. A fake. She was better at this than us. Boys lusted after her, girls joked with her in the halls between classes, even the teachers had warmed to her. She seemed more human, unattainable but real. Was it because of her age? Had being human more recently than anyone in my family influenced her? Given insight that my siblings and I were no longer privy to?

Mike Newton, the insufferable blonde boy from that morning, sat behind us. He noticed my overwhelming interest in Bella. He was possessive of her; his courage had so far failed him though he had been working up the nerve to ask her on an actual date for months.

_Who does this guy think he is? Well, he might look like an Abercrombie model or something but Bella doesn't seem to be impressed._ He huffed as I gritted my teeth, seeing red, envisioning violence. _Good luck, jerk!_ I spun around and glared until he swallowed roughly, slouching down in his chair. _What a freak._ I smirked. He had no idea.

All too quickly the bell rang. Bella swiftly rose from her seat, scooped up her belongings and disappeared through the classroom's backdoor before anyone else had left their seats. I had one class left, Spanish, with Emmett. I doubted that I could cut on the first day, track her down and subsequently rub myself against her senselessly as I aggressively sucked on her pulse point.

"Sup?" My brother asked as he saw me approach. One glance at me, my dark face and darker mood and he thought, _What the hell happened to you?_

"I don't want to fucking talk about it right now."

He grinned. _Bella, huh?_

I groaned in return, leaning heavily against the cool brick wall of the foreign language building. "She sits next to me in Biology." Running my fingers roughly through my hair, making it stand up on all ends, I all but roared out my frustration. Two girls paused to gawk at us. "What?" I shouted at them.

Emmett flashed a small smile and ushered them along with a wave of his hand. _Calm down, bro. Seriously. First day._

"Sorry."

He shrugged, staring out across the wet, green common area and out to the woods. "And there she goes," he pointed.

My head snapped up, "What?"

"Bella. Making a break for it." I watched her. We made eye contact for one brief, shining fraction of a second and then she was gone. _Think she wants you to follow her?_ He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Shut up," I said, abruptly shoving him.

Emmett simply laughed and slapped his meaty palms together. _Yeah! Later. Fight in the woods!_ Then asked, "Spanish?"

* * * * *

A/N - Thank you again for reading! And indulging my little obsession.

Combining a second obsession with this one - I've post Bella & Edward's outfits on Polyvore - please follow the link in my profile if you want to see them.

Disclaimer - I do not own Twilight. Only this little alternate universe is mine.


	6. Broken Promise

Chapter 6 - Broken Promise

Edward

They were discussing me. Again. I sat on a large, flat stone by the river, allowing the soothing sounds of the night and the running water to calm me.

As Emmett played Jasper in chess, their mates, along with Esme perched on the large white sofa in our living room. Alice regaling our mother with every detail of our first day at school. Bella was the most frequent subject of discussion. Esme was thrilled. Rosalie was annoyed, unsurprisingly. She hated the attention Bella got; first at school and then in her own home. And Alice just would not shut up, explaining to them again that Bella was going to be her best friend. Once we were allowed to speak to her. She had seen it. Or something that made her believe it at least.

Her visions regarding Bella were spotty. Similar to my inability to hear Bella's thoughts, my sister was unable to find her future. She could see around her; our reactions, thoughts, the situations we might find ourselves in. Alice had seen a time in the future where she knew implicitly that the girl was her best friend. Her future-self informing someone of that fact. But Bella's future specifically was a void. It was an intriguing anomaly, which had Carlisle fascinated, his resolve against speaking to her wavering. He was tempted to approach her himself and try to smooth things over before we diverged on her as a group.

"But she never said one word to Edward," Alice told Esme.

"Oh. Poor thing," she replied. Through our mother I saw Rosalie roll her eyes and huff.

Emmett loudly cleared his throat, "Could all of you just drop it? Just for now?" He picked up his knight, put it back, and sighed. "I am trying to concentrate and you three are making it near impossible with all your damned chattering."

"And I think you're upsetting Edward," Jasper added serenely. "He is just outside." Alice cackled in glee. I went for a run; hoping to work some of the despair, excitement, anguish, and profound lust out of my system.

Instead I found myself lured directly back to the place of my most exquisite torment.

I had tried to live by Carlisle's rules; not to approach Bella, to wait to make contact. And I did understand why he asked those things of me. But he did not understand the temptation that was her scent. It was a drug. Each night, since our first in Forks, I had stepped out, not going to her, but running, smelling her, enveloping myself in her essence. In all fairness, I could not even leave our home without being assaulted by that smell.

Earlier, at school, to be so close but not touch, had been excruciating. I had finally seen her breathtaking face, heard her sweet musical voice, shared the same space that she occupied. I was like a junkie in need of a fix. Only a matter of hours away from Bella had put me on edge. It felt like insects crawling underneath my skin. Like I would burst from the sheer need of her.

My mania, the compulsion that drew me closer each night, those were my secrets. And that evening I chose to stop fighting. I picked up her scent, followed the fresh trail, and found myself hiding in a dense clump of greenery outside of a small house. It had long required a fresh paint job but there was something warm and inviting about the place. It was not like the cabin in the Yukon, it was a home, it felt lived in. And there was a human dwelling within its walls. A heart beat thudded loudly.

Since those too few minutes we had shared at our lab table in Biology I had been incapable of even the most basic, rational thought. So there I stood, entranced. Her scent clouded my judgement. The absolute realness of her, an actual being, that I had sat so close to, it was my undoing.

Over and over, I could do nothing except picture Bella's willowy, graceful limbs spread out before me. Enveloping me. Her hot little tongue on me. My own working its way down her front, sliding over fevered, pliant flesh. I thought of her begging me to enter her, take her. Be the first and only one to touch her there, to be inside of her, to have all of her, completely.

I trembled, knees like metaphorical rubber, licking my lips. My pants strained against my ever present erection; cock pulling me forward. The monster goaded me into action. The caveman grunted with satisfaction each step I took toward her. The animal drooled, toxic venom flowing, spilling over my lips and down my chin.

A shadow in her suddenly illuminated room. "Enjoy your game, Charlie," she called with a tinkling laugh, like bells. It was exquisite. If only she would laugh like that for me.

For one moment I entertained the notion of just killing Charlie, whoever the fuck he was. Clearly the human in the house. The sounds of the television drifted out to me. Basketball.

Just as quickly I dismissed the idea. Bella was less likely to give herself to me if I murdered him. The monster whispered that I did not need permission to take what I wanted. Throughout mankind's history males had used any means necessary to possess the most desirable females. What was so different for our kind? Carlisle had chosen to make Esme like us. He had seen her, wanted her, taken her, and she was his wholly and completely forever after.

Another step out of the shadows, toward the house, the light, her. I was almost visible; certain that she would have sensed my presence, caught my scent on the breeze. Her window was open.

Bella was hidden from view but I heard the sounds of furniture being dragged across a hardwood floor. The man downstairs remained silent. The television and his calmly beating heart the only things I heard from him. Straining, focusing my ability, I attempted to single him out from the din of the usual neighborhood chatter. Images, emotions, anxieties, more than actual words. He was vaguely annoyed, something to do with the game. Satisfaction over a delicious meal was mixed with an overwhelming sensation of contentment. But his thoughts were so quiet and contained that I could not be sure I was entirely right. I only got the gist of them. How had they managed to block me? Was she so superior, a blank silence, due to her being a vampire? As a human would she still have been able to keep me out entirely?

Sighing in frustration I glanced upward once more and almost violently came in my overworked jeans. Bella had her back to the window, her ass positioned up in the air with her thighs slanting down toward me. I was unsure whether she was simply stretching or inviting me to fuck her from behind.

I spent another second thanking whoever had made it acceptable for modern women to wear such scandalously, evocative scraps of cloth while exercising. She wore obscenely small black shorts, which clung to her like a second skin. The only other piece of clothing I could discern was a coral colored sports bra. The amount of pale flesh, catching the light from her room, was blinding as well as stimulating.

And that ass was perfect. Ripe. She was a delicate, small girl but her curves were delectable. My insides turned to hot, violent liquid, which pooled in my groin. I tore a gnarled thorn bush right out of the cold, sodden soil at my feet.

Her breathing was rhythmic. Like a human when they were fast asleep. The _very_ small sane portion of my brain wondered if she was practicing yoga. If so, that was just fucking hot.

My body yearned to be enveloped in her hot, wet, center. My mind burned to dominate her. Imagining myself entering her room, slipping those little shorts down her alabaster thighs, and nudging the tip of my erection into her waiting, salivating slit. She would be surprised and perhaps try to buck me off. And so I would have to assert control over her; she was the weaker. I would take, she would give. In one way or another. Both options excited me. And disgusted me.

The rest of my brain gave up the ghost and surrendered to the darker, primal forces residing within me. I popped the button on my pants. Fingers poised over the pull of my zipper. My cock hard, heavy, and weeping. She froze. Her breathing ceased. I, stupidly, paid no attention. In fact, I already had one hand wrapped around my hard-on. With one fluid jump I landed squarely and silently in the middle of her porch's roof, level with her window. But Bella had vanished.

Stunned and confused, my dick exposed and all but forgotten, I inched forward. Popping my head into the room, I looked from side to side, considering where my girl may have gotten to. Obviously I never saw the kick coming. Caught off guard, she launched me across the rooftop. I landed below, the ground compressing beneath me, making an impression of my feet. I dropped into a crouch, a low growl escaping.

The sound of her foot colliding with my face had echoed, reminding me of thunder or shattering stone. It had been a lucky shot. Nearly impossible. It was as if she had materialized in front of me at the exact moment of impact.

A light flickered to life on the back porch; Charlie remained inside, standing perfectly still in the small kitchen. He was listening. He thought of his gun in the coat closet by the front door. And Bella. I snarled aggressively, a warning, in his direction. This, as far as I was concerned, had nothing to do with him.

She stood, looking down, watching me, from her place at the window. Her hands on the sill as she leaned out, breasts mashed together, and thrust forward. Even as dazed as I was, they called me.

"It's okay, Charlie," Bella yelled down. "I'll handle this. Just go back in the other room." She never took her eyes off of me. I was extraordinarily pleased by her attention finally being directed at me, almost. I offered her what I hoped was a startling smile.

With a sigh she stared down at me, her eyes flat. She was nervous, I could smell it. Her scent intensified by the rush of fear. Dispassionately, resigned, she asked, "What do you want from me?"

I held my tongue, stopping myself from bursting, revealing exactly what I desired. My body thrilled with excitement. Bella had spoken to me, directly. Warily watching me. I paced like the caged beast that I was.

"I only want to talk," I told her finally, voice level and composed.

"Talk?" she replied dumbly, unsure.

I nodded trying to reassure her. Anything to get her outside with me. I would have the advantage as we stood face to face. "Just come down."

"Can't we talk like this?"

"No," I laughed, knowing that I sounded like a prick but her face was beginning to show signs of intrigue. I played the advantage.

Placing one sure foot on the roof, she pulled herself through the window but did not venture to join me on the lawn, instead she balanced delicately on the sill.

Joking, I smirked, "I don't bite." Bella rolled her eyes. So I added, "Much." A tiny lift at the corners of her sinfully pouty mouth. Those are dick-sucking lips the monster reminded me. "So why don't you," I gestured around me.

Turning slightly she reached back into the bedroom and grabbed a blue cotton shirt, pulling it over her head, musing her hair. A twitch down south. She cocked a concerned eyebrow then glowered in my direction.

Glancing to the side, looking off into the night, she exhaled haughtily, "Well, maybe if you put your thing away." Continuing a millisecond later, with narrowed eyes, the word escaping harshly through her teeth. "Pervert."

I stepped back, stung and surprised before looking down. My erection stared back at me. I was undoubtably the largest moron in existence. So entranced and overcome, I had not zipped up. Was it some kind of subconscious act? Some sort of Freudian slip?

Dropping my head into my hands I groaned. My anger and lust for pain turning inward. Bella could never care for such a repulsive creature. It all came to me in that moment. Over the years that I had known her, before she had a name or a face, or even a cabin in northern Canada, my thoughts in regards to her had been stomach-turning. I had entertained the notions of raping her, taking her, holding her hostage, forcing her to love me. With no care for her or the life that she led, I had stalked her mercilessly, set traps for her, terrorized her. All in the name of lust. But there, in her own backyard, after seeing her for the first time and sitting beside her at school, I realized that I wanted to love her properly. Of course I didn't know if it was possible. The feelings I felt for Bella ran deep, straight into the darkest, blackest parts of me. Those feels begged me to corrupt her, break her down, ruin her for all others. My heart simply yearned to know her. Her favorite color, the music she liked, the books that she read. The things that had made her so real to me in the Yukon the year before.

I heard the approaching thoughts at the same time that Bella picked up on their imminent arrival. She wavered, unsure if she should remain on the rooftop, which had to advantage of being the higher ground. Her eyes darted from me to the dense greenery behind, down to the backdoor.

They slowed their steps, walking calmly from the trees. Carlisle, Jasper, and Alice. There to defuse what they assumed to be a situation. "Bella, please," started Carlisle. I spun to face him, sure that I would see disappointment but my father was resigned. Saying only, "Edward. I told you this would happen. We've frightened her." Turning back to Bella he apologized, "It was unacceptable for him to be lurking out here. I hope you understand that we do not mean to threaten you."

The monster roared, anger flooded me, though I attempted to keep it in check. For all of our sakes. "Things were fine until you three showed up," I argued, managed to catch Bella infinitesimally easing up and rolling her eyes at me. It was childish and completely adorable.

Jasper was exuding calm. Carlisle moved cautiously in Bella's direction; she snarled.

Surprised by my family's sudden appearance; by there being four, much older vampires so directly invading her space, Bella sprung from her perch, landing gracefully on the grass, and placed herself directly between us and her home. Dropping low, she snapped in our direction, growling angrily. Behind her the door swung open revealing a middle aged man; brown hair, gray at the temples, with a mustache, holding a police issue revolver in his shaking grip. Charlie was clearly shocked by our appearance, he gaped, his head swinging back and forth between Bella and myself. But he stayed behind her as I watched my demonic angel quiver with barely contained rage. She was preparing to attack, to defend the human, even though she was outnumbered and outmatched. My guts twisted as I debated what the man was to her. Lover? Friend?

"Charlie, get inside," she hissed, retreating somewhat and forcing him through the doorway, her eyes never straying from mine.

_Interesting!_ Jasper thought to himself. _She is entirely unaffected._ That was strange.

Where as Alice was disappointed to find Bella in workout clothes. _A Ramones t-shirt, Bella? Really?_ Though my sister quickly shrugged it off. _Maybe it's generational. Does she shop in Port Angeles or Seattle?_ She pondered. I was rapidly tiring of Alice's complete refusal to consider the situation. She had merely accepted that Bella would be her best friend at some point and in doing so opted to behave as if it had already happened. I shook my head, already jealous of their nonexistent time together. One more item to put on the list, 'Why Edward Cullen is Tragically Disturbed'. But that's what it was to be obsessed. Preoccupation of the mind continually, intrusively, and to a trouble extent. Check.

Carlisle raised his hands in a show of surrender. "We are not here to hurt you. Either of you. We only want to talk."

Her growling ceased though she did not raise from her defensive stance. "What is with you people and talking to me?" She asked tonelessly. But it seemed clear that Bella was willing, at least, to listen to him.

"Perhaps we could take this inside," Carlisle glanced toward the nearest neighbor. "Somewhere more private?" As he took one step forward another low growl rumbled through her as she retreated further.

My father coughed lightly. "Yes, of course. We would not want to intrude upon your home." He looked to each of us before suggesting that she return with us to ours. Bella reluctantly agreed.

Charlie protested to Carlisle, "You can't just take her."

"No harm will come to her, Chief Swan. I promise you that."

"I'll be fine," she told him in a hushed voice, pressing her cold cheek against his before quickly grabbing her gray cloth sneakers. As Bella turned to face our party she appeared resigned to her fate, whatever she thought it might be. Her only real fear was for the man's safety. But she had not kissed him good-bye, I noted with satisfaction.

"Isabella. Wait," Charlie called, darting back inside only to return a moment later, a red hooded sweatshirt clutched in his hand. The silver buttons, running down the front, caught the light of the moon, sparkling. He handed it to her, Bella nodding as she took it. She paused, a strange expression on her usually closed face. It was almost tender.

He added in a gruff rush, "It's cold out there tonight."

And then she was grinning, cheekily. For Charlie. I saw red. "I'll be sure not to catch a chill."

- - - - -

Making our way into the woods, Bella kept pace with me effortlessly. Even when I attempted to pull away and ahead of her, trying to showoff, she never lost a step.

"So, is it Bella or Isabella," Alice inquired, closing the gap between us.

"I go by Bella," she replied with a small frown. Moving those large, expressive eyes from me, to Alice, and back again, some of her frigid exterior thawing. "But I was born Isabella. I shortened it to be more modern when I reinvented myself as my own daughter."

My sister giggled with childish delight. "Your own daughter. And you named her after yourself. I love it!" She spared me a look as the lights of the house came into view. "I told you we would be the best of friends, Edward."

Bella cast a queer glance in my direction but made no comment. She knew nothing, so far, of our abilities.

"Alice," Carlisle warned but she had already fallen back to be with Jasper.

- - - - -

As soon as she entered our home Bella was on her guard but my father rather gallantly offered her his arm, which she took with a shy smile of thanks. I kicked myself for not making the gesture first.

Esme stood, smoothing her already perfect skirt, thinking, _Bella! She's finally here!_ Coming toward our group she beamed and offered the girl her hand. They shook, exchanging the usual pleasantries.

"It is so lovely to finally meet you, dear," my mother gushed. I cleared my throat, uncomfortable with the direction of their conversation already. Esme waved me off.

Bella was like a nervous colt. Skittish in her own long-limbed, graceful fashion. All of our attention, the prying eyes and open studying, must have been daunting to someone so used to a nomadic lifestyle. Carlisle had been right, as I should have known he would be. We, as a family of seven, were too much for a vampire such as herself to take in at one time. At least Emmett and Rosalie were absent.

"Is Bella here?" My brother charged through the doors, a bored Rose bringing up the rear. I had spoken to soon.

She swung around in surprise, a low growl tearing from her. Emmett laughed and raised his hands to her as Carlisle had done earlier. "Feisty! I like her." He winked, "Are you much for wrestling?"

Making a face like he had just propositioned her, Bella stepped away, her eyes finding me immediately. I was whole again. Barely a second passed by when she did not pause to check on me. Perhaps I had made an impression on her as well.

Esme glared at me, motioning to Bella and then the couch. Remembering myself I groaned at my own inability to form coherent thoughts when she was around. But how could I be with out her? Especially after having her in my home. The scent would inescapable. And I would succumb to it every time.

"Bella, would you care for a seat?" She did not reply but sat gingerly on the very edge of the couch. I quickly stole the spot beside her, longing to grab hold of her hand and entwine our fingers. Run my hand up her bare thigh. Taste my way from her clavicle to her ear lobe. With a quick adjustment I scooted over an inch or two. The others studiously ignored my ridiculous behavior.

"Now," Carlisle clapped his hands together, rubbing, sitting beside Esme and across from Bella and I. "What do you know about us, Bella?"

Her eyes widened at being put on the spot. "Um," she thought, "that you live in Forks?"

"Yes," my father grinned. "Anything else?"

She lifted one shoulder reluctantly, "Not really." Tugging at an errant stand of hair she pressed on, "I assume you live on a diet of animals, like me. And that you live as a group, going to school, and staying in town until your lack of aging becomes an issue. But you're not really related are you? None of you really look alike."

"Correct on all counts," Esme congratulated.

"And you're all couples?" Bella inquired, hair forgotten.

"Except for me," I informed her, staring out through the glass wall of the house, not making eye contact, afraid of her reaction. Would she think that was why we had brought her here? A vampiric arranged marriage. I needed a partner and she was available? I hoped not. As I had never considered a mate until I had caught her scent that first fateful twilight.

"Oh." Her reply gave me little to go on. If only I were able to read her mind like I could everyone else's. It was agony.

Standing by Rosalie my brother's mind was racked with questions. _Does she remember us? The bear? Edward lunging at her like some deranged mental case? And what about the other times? I doubt this one would play coy. Doesn't seem the type. Would Edward fucking flip his shit if I asked her?_

I indicated that I would with a rather rude hand gesture. The others dismissed our exchange though Bella narrowed her eyes, annoyed that she had missed something. I was getting the impression that the kitten had serious claws. Like a ferocious tiger. And if pushed she would not fail to use them.

_Screw you, Edward, _Emmett called. "So, Bella, how have you managed to elude Edward for so many years?" _That's for always cheating, bro._ What an asshole.

"I never knew you were looking for me," she replied, appraising me with keen interest.

Emmett slapped his thigh like some behemoth yokel, crowing. "He practically stalked you!" I had to give him points for throwing the _practically_ in there. But if the startled expression on Bella's face was anything to go by it would have been better that I had never been born. My brother would have to be destroyed.

I attempted to play it cool, shrugging. "You always ran. So I assumed," trailing off, unsure of what to say next.

"That night in Maine? That was you?" she asked plainly. Her mind incredibly quick, even for one of our kind. Was there nothing she did not excel at? It only increased my craving.

I nodded in affirmation causing Bella to bite down on her lower lip, nibbling the pale pink flesh there. I longed to know how soft it was, to replace her teeth with my own. "Did I scare you?"

"Other vampires make me nervous," she informed us, glancing at the group of us apologetically. "You never really know what they want from you." Shrugging she went on, "Nice or not, I find it's safer to run." A long pause, her eyes downcast, "I have Charlie to think of after all."

Back to Charlie. My jealousy boiled. How I hated him, wished to pull him to pieces. Him and Mike Newton, and Bob Banner, all the boys at that school and every man who had ever looked at what was only mine to see.

Quickly berating myself for the return to such possessive thoughts I tried to think rationally. Was Charlie a rival for my affections? Tanya and her sisters found pleasure in bed with human men. If that was the case all of the aforementioned males could be competition to my suit.

Carlisle, sensing my rapidly darkening mood, asked the question that remained lodged in my throat. "Yes, Bella." He surveyed her, we all did. "What exactly is Charlie to you?"

For a second she was surprised and then ultimately concerned. Scowling at my father she bristled, "Why do you ask?"

He guessed at her fears and replied calmly, "We only want to know more about you and your life here. If we are all going to share this territory."

Her face betrayed no emotion as she answered, "He's my brother." And my dead heart rejoiced; if it could have beaten still, it would have burst forth from my chest.

"Thank you, Bella," our father smiled.

"And how long have you been here in Forks?"

The next reply was quicker to come. "I moved back here in the fall. To take care of Charlie" we gazed on, enraptured. "He's getting on in years and," she shrugged, "I hated the thought of him being alone."

She was selfless. And I was the monster set on ruining her. How could I do such a thing? I was Zeus, using seduction and trickery to woo Bella; allowing myself to fantasize about raping her in order to get the thing I coveted most. She was Daphne and I, Apollo. My obsessive love would drive her away, turn her into something else, which I would not be able to hold lovingly in my arms.

My family drew in around her, welcoming the stranger into our fold. Alice vibrated, seeing images of a shady future where she, at last, would have a female confidant. She loved Jasper but had longed for a best friend as far back as she could remember. A dim, flickering memory of loneliness had clung to my sister as long as I had known her. Jasper marveled at his inability to control her emotions. Emmett wanted to see her fight. Esme's gazed turned from me and then back to the girl, joy filling her heart. Carlisle was overcome by her abilities, desperate to know more pieces of the puzzle. Rosalie fumed, but was at least silent.

Finally, the interrogation over, my mother suggested I give Bella a tour of our house. She agreed politely. Walking up the stairs, Alice said my name in her thoughts, I paused but did not turn back to look at her. _Just be honest with her when she asks._ With an imperceptible nod I followed my fair companion, guiding her past grand works of art and smaller family mementos, before reaching my room and ushering her in.

Bella nosed around, looking over the long rows of bookshelves, her fingers running along the spines as I dropped down onto my sofa, contemplating her.

"Why don't you come sit down next to me?" I smiled. She did but kept a respectable amount of distance between us.

We were silent for a long time; Bella taking my measure as I did all in my power to hold the beast at bay. If my human mother, Elizabeth, could have seen me then. Barely enough of a gentleman left to keep my hands to myself. I imagined though, saw so clearly, climbing on top of Bella, pulling that red sweatshirt to pieces, exposing her mouthwatering flesh to my eyes and awaiting lips.

She would put up the pretense of a struggle before giving herself over completely to my raging, burning, passion. A weak memory from my human life tugged at the back of my mind: a friend explaining to me that that was how to get a girl to kiss you. Allow her to place all of the blame on you and your masculine urges.

And I wanted to kiss. And to bury myself so deep inside of Bella that I would never be able to find a way back out.

So enraptured was I by my fanciful daydream that I barely noticed as she sniffed around me. Until she yanked free a sweater. Her sweater; the one I had stolen and brought back with me from that little Yukon cabin.

"Is this mine?" she asked, stunned. All astonishment. Watching me with a blazing curiosity. All nervousness forgotten.

I looked between Bella and the sweater in horror. From somewhere downstairs I heard Emmett's booming laughter.

Absolutely embarrassing. If I could have blushed, I would have been scarlet.

"Yes," I reluctantly admitted.

There was the barest hint of a smirk on her lips but it faded before I could fully analyze the expression. Replaced again by uncertainty. In a quiet, small voice she asked, holding the sweater against her chest as a shield, "Were you really following me?"

Slowly I nodded. Alice had implied that honesty was the best policy where Bella was concerned.

Curiously she bobbed her head up and down in supposed understanding. "Well, thank you, Edward, for inviting me over and for the tour." She bowed out of my room exceptionally fast, "I will see you at school tomorrow." And with that she was gone, making her excuses to my parents and fleeing into the trees.

Resting my head in my hands, I was destroyed mentally and physically, surrounded by her sweet scent. The room saturated. I glanced back to the seat she had occupied until a moment before and saw the sweater. It had been neatly folded. And left behind. For me.

Either Bella wanted me to have it or she was planning to return in order to retrieve it. I still had a chance; grinning like a fool, I crushed the potent piece of fabric to my face, inhaling her. The smell encompassing me. Stroking myself through my jeans, I was soaring.

* * * *

A/N

Thank you all, again, for reading! And for the reviews! They make me all warm and gooey inside. I am so happy you are enjoying my own little obsession.

Chapters 7 & 8 are works in progress now - hopefully I can get another chapter up by the end of the weekend. And it will be Bella POV (It will include some portions of this chapter from her perspective). Also, things will be getting decidedly more M rated from here on out. - E.


	7. Bulletproof Cupid

Chapter 7 - Bulletproof Cupid

Bella

Barely pausing long enough to offer a hurried farewell to Edward's family, let alone register their surprised faces, I rushed through the front door and back out into the night. I sprinted for the cover of the trees, quickly disappearing into the deep thicket along the edge of their property.

I should have gone straight home; Charlie would be worried sick over what had happened to me. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. Instead I ran aimlessly, weaving effortlessly between the massive moss covered trunks I passed, making a game of it, zig-zagging my way through the forest. The Canadian border loomed before I felt prepared to return to our little house.

What was I going to tell my brother? I was certain that in his mind a ravaging group of monsters had just abducted his baby sister and he was helpless to stop them. And it was so incredibly far from the truth; I had wanted to go. My only concern had been for Charlie's well-being. The blond one, Jasper, had a look about him, something in his eyes that told me he was still struggling with our alternative lifestyle. It was like the reflection I saw in the mirror some days: haunted and hungry. So while I trusted them not to attack, to feed off of, to kill my brother I did not want to risk them being inside our home. His scent filled every nook of that house. He could have injured himself and Jasper would have reacted, unable to control himself. I worried about that scenario, about my own reaction from time to time but hoped that my love would overpower my murderous urges.

Honesty, while upheld as the best policy, was not very tempting. I could hardly explain to my brother that a mysterious vampire boy, a ridiculously beautiful one at that, had an obsessive crush on me. Had stalked me from coast to coast for years. Charlie was protective, probably as much then as he was when I was a human girl. His 'I don't care that you're a forty-three year old woman and a vampire', attitude made me think seriously about what I would say in regards to Edward and his family.

I was fairly certain that if Edward had not been, for all intents and purposes, unkillable, Charlie would already have murdered him. Especially for the cock hanging out of his pants thing. I suppressed a groan just thinking about it; the situation, not the exposed male genitalia, though I had not been as upset by that as I would have imagined myself. But that did not stop me from wondering, for more than a moment, whether Edward was in fact some deranged, undead rapist.

However, at his house, with is family, and later alone in his room, he had seemed utterly harmless, almost shy. Even after finding my sweater hidden away like some sort of secret love-token. It was sweet, really. Though I had no idea how he had come to have the article of clothing; I would have sworn that last time I had seen it was in the Yukon. But hadn't he been following me? Could he have gone there, hunting, searching for me?

A voice nagged at me, sounding suspiciously like my brother. Did sweet, shy boys peep into girl's bedrooms, watching, and fondling themselves? I shrugged, probably. I really had no experience with males or sexuality, whether it was human or vampire. And I had never cared about that. Before. But suddenly, it was all I could think about. Edward. Edward touching himself. That insufferably sinful smirk. God, what was wrong with me? I was far too mature, too old, to be bothered by such high school trivialities: attraction, lust, sex.

When I was human, just a simple teenager I never really dated. I never had a boyfriend and had not been asked to a single high school dance. I had been shy, quiet, studious - not the type that guys wanted to take out and show off. At school I had very few friends, preferring to be alone, to read, to spend time with my mother, father, or Charlie. Perhaps I would have had the nerve to ask a boy out if I had ever found one that I wanted to be daring for. But there had never been one. Even after my change I had been alone, a nomad wanderer. So it had been out of the question until Forks. Until Edward.

Slowing to a walk, I ran a hand over my face, hoping to wipe away the images burned into my brain. As well as the ones nudging their way into my consciousness. Unbidden thoughts that I barely understood and yet still managed to conjure up. Those should have required a much more intimate knowledge of Edward Cullen but I had always had a good imagination. Too good my mother had thought. I guess she had been right after all.

Earlier, that morning, when I arrived at school, Charlie dropping me off in his usual fashion. I already knew they were there, in town. I had caught their scent in the forest and kept away, stayed close to home. I recognized it of course; it was the same as the one I had caught on my first visit years before. They were back, leaving me to speculate on their exact reason for being there. I didn't even know if they were friendly. They could easily slaughter Charlie, rip me limb from limb, and vanish into the night. I had met enough vampires that nothing truly surprised me. Our kind had a great capacity for kindness and an equal or greater one for cruelty. So I could have packed our belongings and forced Charlie to flee with me, but I didn't. Something told me not to, a tingle in my spine, a lingering memory, dim and fleeting. I had gone to school to protect my brother from what was happening right under his very nose; I could not bear to worry him without knowing there was a need to.

The new kids were all anyone could talk about. I caught snippets of their conversations and not for the first time wished that my hearing was still that of weak human ears. There were five of them: the Cullen's. Their names whispers on the lips of my fellows. While I was glad to have the focus turned from me for the time, giving me a chance to ruminate on my next move, I pondered their even being at my school. It was possible that they, like me, abstained from killing humans. But I was unsure. It could all have been an elaborate scheme. I would make myself insane puzzling it out. Too many theories, each worse than the previous.

Girls giggled over him, the bronze haired boy. The only single one in the group. While the other four, two males and two females, were paired off. Mated, I assumed. Once a vampire fell in love, it was for eternity. Or so I had been told. But they all looked like models, like they had just stepped off the catwalk, in New York, Paris, or Milan.

In hushed tones the children noted that the new kids looked just like me, the prior new kid. And how strange. What a coincidence. Were we all related? Why hadn't I spilled? Probably because I was stuck up. And that was only a fraction of the gossip I overheard. A lot of it was decidedly less nice or appropriate; some about me, a lot about them.

Even Angela could hardly contain herself when she came to find me in the library at the end of our lunch period. Usually I found Angela to be so unflappable, so utterly sincere. Those qualities had drawn me to her. She had worked her way into my unbeating heart, the only actual friend I had in Forks, outside of my brother. And the only thing, before the arrival of the mysterious Cullen family that had flustered her was the adorable yet impossibly young, Ben Cheney. So, needless to say, I was intrigued.

"Have you seen the new kids yet?"

I laughed, "I thought you wanted my Biology notes."

"Oh, I do," she told me, carefully taking them from my waiting hand. "But I had to ask."

Shaking my head I informed her, "I don't have class with a single Cullen."

Angela grinned in return, "So, you know their name at least."

She had caught me there, "How could I have missed it. People can't talk about anything else today."

"I guess," she lifted a shoulder helplessly, a crease forming on her forehead, "I thought you might know them or something."

"Why?" I smiled, hoping to calm her, but already knowing the answer.

"They just look so much like you. The little one, Alice, you could be her sister."

"I always wanted a sister," I replied, trying to change the subject.

"Me too," Angela sighed and with a roll of her eyes added, "I only have brothers."

Giggling I said, "Yuck," and stood. "Think we should get to class?" The bell rang exactly as I asked.

"How do you always do that?"

"Magic," I winked. And we left the library, Angela staying close to my side, telling me about her younger brothers and the mischief they got into. She had me laughing the whole way to class.

Before I went through the door I sensed him and then there he was, at my table, spreading out his things and acting as if he owned the place. I would have been annoyed but Sweet Lord Above, the chatty girls in my English, Trig, History, and Latin classes had not been exaggerating. The new guy, Edward, was in fact, a god. Something Greco-Roman, carved from marble, a piece of art out of place, out of time. And his scent, I froze, it was the one I had been most drawn to. It lingered all over town; from Vancouver to Seattle really.

His dark jeans, black t-shirt, and gray pull over contrasted against the alabaster whiteness of his skin. Black motorcycle boots, dark sunglasses much like my own. He was stunning.

I had never desired someone so much in my life: vampire or human. It physically hurt. And I had only been in his presence a fraction of a second. The closer I moved the more my insides tugged, trying to be my outsides. The one kiss I had shared with Paul, eight years earlier, flashed through my mind and it was nothing. A blip on the radar, drawing me closer to the man seated only feet from me. How had I gone from one sweet kiss to practically drooling, picturing us fucking like rabbits on speed, right there, in front of Mr. Banner and everyone else in the Bio room? He had managed, in less than one second, to make me depraved. And that pissed me off.

Edward stared, blatantly. But I reminded myself that was likely due to the surprise. What were the chances? Of all the lab tables, in all the tenth grade Biology classes, in all the world, that he would be sat at mine. Was it fate? And should I be praising my former life for my good fortune or cursing myself?

I was unable to speak, too conflicted. Instead I yanked my chair out from the table, using more force that was typical of me, and it made a dragging noise drawing the attention of the room. Quietly then I took my books from my bag and perched on the edge of my seat, leaning as far away from my table mate with his intoxicating aroma and venom inducing beauty as possible. Attacking him, either out of lust or fear, would be unacceptable in the classroom. I put my mind on Biology, the chores I wanted to accomplish before Charlie arrived home, anything other than Edward Cullen, only a hair's breadth away.

A sound from beside me, wood grinding, crushing, breaking. Was he destroying the furniture? What was wrong with him? I swung toward him, glaring, hoping my expression of complete indignation would remind him that as students at Forks we were to be behaving in a human-like manner. While he did appear chagrined there was something else in the way he looked at me: primal, dangerous. I blocked him from view with the curtain of my long hair, effectively separating us and removing me from his frank perusal. But I still felt his eyes on me throughout the period. Avoiding him, I allowed myself to escape with a burst of inhuman speed a millisecond before the bell rang signaling the end of my torment. I had not taken a single note, which was incredibly unlike me.

He was already destroying, piece by piece, the carefully created life that I had. His appearance drew attention to my own. His presence made me act out, behave erratically, and out of character. His existence was making me question my own and everything I had once believed so completely. I had to get away from him. The thought of idling through gym class, Mike Newton ogling me in my unflattering uniform, and being forced to act as if I could not play badminton was on the very bottom of my list of things to do by that point.

Slipping through the halls, silently, phasing in and out of the view of those around me I ended up at the edge of the woods almost before I had made up my mind to go. But I was stopped. By him. The arresting vision of him, that shock of tangled hair, his lanky build, and light, lilting voice. He was standing outside of the foreign language building, a bigger boy, posing as his brother, standing beside; he saw me as I stepped forward, torn between Edward and escape.

"And there she goes," the other guy pointed in my direction, their voices carrying.

Edward's face shot to mine, our eyes locking, and from my distant vantage I could still make out the possession, the need in them. And it frightened me. Knowing that my feelings could be returned had me running. I did not stop until I was in the house, sitting at the kitchen table, head in hands. I was, for lack of a better word, fucked.

I made Charlie dinner, tidied the house, threw in a load of laundry, but nothing erased him from my thoughts. Afraid of alarming my brother I excused myself early, saying that I had homework, that I was going to do my yoga. I was desperate to find my center.

First my stretches, then a few easy poses, created to loosen my body up for the coming session. I of course did not need those as I could easily twist my form into any position but it was the rhythm of the actions that lulled me into a deeper sense of consciousness. Then lifting myself into Downward Facing Dog I felt him. Edward was so close that his scent wafted through my open window and I froze. Why was he there? It wasn't the first time he had been there; the smell of him lingered in the woods, hung like a heavy curtain around my home. But I had not known him, did not recognize his scent so it had been without my knowledge, which concerned me. Was he hunting me, or Charlie, for that matter I wondered?

A rustling of fabric. A zipper. Light footfalls. The catch of the wind as he took flight. I felt myself disappear from view, still in my pose, balanced directly in front of his intended entrance. Instinct took over, preservation, and I kicked him without any real knowledge of doing it. And he was gone, back down below. The sound my foot had made when it connected with his gorgeous, chiseled jaw, was bound to have attracted Charlie's attention. It had not been quiet by any measure of the word.

Edward growled, low and aggressive, making something knot pleasantly in my lower abdomen. I reminded myself it was really not the time. My brother shifted, moving toward the kitchen, and closer to the monster just outside the door. I called down, warning him to stay back, as I watched the man looking up at me.

If he was there to kill us, I would not be able to stop him. He was much older, more powerful. It emanated off of him in waves. It was all in his scent. "What do you want from me?" I asked. And he had wanted to talk, _just talk_, and a small part of me remembered teenage boys and their version of talking, alone. My mother had warned me that boys were not nice, that they only acted the part to get one thing, and one thing only. But what if I desperately desired Edward and wanted, no needed, him to take it from me.

I permitted myself only to go as far as the window sill, unsure what I would do if I was in close proximity to him. "I don't bite," he breathed, huskily, "much." Twitching, I barely held myself in place. It might be pleasant to be nibbled by Edward Cullen. He stared and I pulled a shirt over my head, hiding. And then I saw it and the noises from a moment before he jumped to my window made perfect sense; his pants hung open, dick out, forgotten but struggling, very hard, to be noticed. Nearly spluttering, I gushed, nervously, "Well, maybe if you put your thing away." I wanted to groan in dismay, I had called his cock a thing. I might as well have used the phrase, wee-wee. But that was no little boy's penis, it was fully grown, and amazing. Swallowing the massive amounts of venom, which collected in my mouth, I worked at keeping my mouth closed.

That was my first penis. I had never seen one. Not even my brothers. And I marveled. Then flushed and embarrassed by my own naivete hissed, "Pervert," whether at Edward or at myself I was unsure. Either way I wanted to crawl into a hole and die from total mortification.

And then his family had shown up and everything had gone to hell. But they were kind. I liked them. Vampires like me. But what was I going to do; there was an information overload. Edward, the Cullen Family. What I could actually impart to Charlie of the past couple of days. I was confused and flustered. While I was used to the feeling of confusion, one does not wake up, mostly dead and alone, with out coming to understand their own failings of understanding. But the flash of heat in my groin, the deep pit in my stomach, the feeling that my unbeating heart could suddenly take flight. Those feelings were quite new but only a little unwelcome. Edward, had in a matter of twenty-four hours made me feel alive in a way I had never known even when I had been a living, breathing girl.

The following day at school I was determined to be kinder toward Edward and his siblings, at least in public. It would not do for me to have some vendetta against the Cullen's after only one day. People would notice. People would talk. People like Jessica Stanley. I huffed in annoyance but arrived in the Biology room. Where my table was empty once more. I wasn't sure whether I should have been relived or disappointed, I had counted on seeing him there, for better or for worst.

Mr. Banner was walking around the room, distributing one microscope and a box of slides to each table. Class would not start for a few minutes and the room buzzed with conversation. I studiously ignored the door, sketching a lush landscape of trees on a page in my notebook, penning in a small critter here and there. Drawing, especially from life, was another thing that our kind just simply did, no thought required. The combination of memory and muscle control made us fabulous artists, but it was just another way of courting unwanted attention. So I kept my doodles to myself.

While I refused to look up, that did not mean that I didn't sense him the moment he arrived outside of the classroom, pausing, then entering. Taking his assigned seat, he implored me with his eyes to be kind and I could not find it in myself to deny him. Not after last night and the sweater. Not after every incredible and implausible scenario that had run through my imagination since that moment in time.

"Hello," I said in a quiet, musical voice. I still sat as far away as the table would permit, afraid of my own strong physical reactions to him, and of those, which he might return. Would he take his cock out of his pants in the middle of class? I doubted it but Edward was a mystery to me. To be frank, men in general were a complete enigma.

He wore an expensive light blue, button-up shirt and gray jeans, black boots. His hair was dripping wet, disheveled. He must have been playing in the snow like the other children, which amused me. Imagining the somewhat stuffy Cullen's enjoying the falling, wet mush. It made me miss the powdery snow of the far north. So I shook my head and stared into his friendly, open face, a slight smile on his flawless lips. But his eyes were careful, as if he were afraid of rejection, from me. How laughable.

"My name is Bella Swan," I continued. "I'm sorry I did not get a chance to introduce myself to you yesterday. You must be Edward."

He laughed a soft, enchanting laugh. "Yes. It's a pleasure to meet you," he smirked, playing along.

I was staring at his mouth. His eyes were on my tits. Every kid in the damned room was watching us and Mike Newton locked his jaw in irritation. Thankfully, Mr. Banner started class at that moment. I tried to focus on the assigned lab but in truth I needed to expend so little energy to keep up in the class that I found myself leaning closer to the body beside me, which drew me in like a magnet.

"Get started," the teacher commanded.

"Go ahead, partner." I smiled, eyes wide and twinkling as Edward gazed back at me with a crooked smile so beautiful I nearly lost my train of thought. He made no move toward the microscope. "Or I could start, if you like," my smile fading as I suddenly wondered at his mental capacity.

Edward coughed, clearing his throat, "No," he leaned forward. I inhaled the sweet scent of his hair, trying to appear casually interested in the assignment and not in my lab partner. "Prophase," he declared. We had correctly identified all five slides in less than a minute, laughing, and grinning at one another. I almost enjoyed acting out, behaving entirely inhumanly, showing off. With him.

The teacher approached. Bob Banner had a wandering eye, which too often found itself ogling me, a student. But he was unusually kind to me, possibly making up for what he knew to be his own failing. With a sigh he asked, "So, Bella didn't you think Edward should get a chance with the microscope?"

I smiled, "Actually he identified three of the five."

Turning to Edward he narrowed his gaze, "Have you done this lab before?"

"Yeah," he shrugged, eyes never straying from mine, grinning at our shared secret.

"Were you in an advanced placement program at your last school?"

"This was the only science class that fit in my schedule," he replied, catching Mr. Banner, who was casting a glance over my shoulder and down the front of my loose fitting, white, v-neck t-shirt. Turning his attention back to me, mutinous and angry, I looked left and then right, signally no.

"Well, I guess it's a good thing you two are lab partners." He turned away mumbling, "So the other kids can get a chance to learn something for themselves," under his breath. With widening eyes, Edward and I shared a moment, both trying to contain our laughter. Obviously our teacher had not meant to be heard. It seemed, sharing any bond with my new table mate had removed my status as favorite student. I began doodling again, staring out the window and drawing what I saw with incredible speed. Edward leaned back in his chair, smiling, watching me and then our fellows as they argued, still studying their first and second slides.

Edward moved close to me, I held stock still, unsure of his intentions. His lips were on my ear as he lowered his voice, speaking rapidly. To a human the words would have been a jumble of low sounds, nothing more than white noise. To me it was like a hot knife slicing through butter. "Go out with me tonight."

Nervous I snarked, "Are you asking or demanding?"

His reply was a smirk, a small lifting of his shoulders. His occasionally domineering comments were obnoxious, infuriating, and downright inside-melting sexy. Just like that stupid smirk.

Class was called to order and with some relief I turned to listen, giving Edward no answer to his inquiry. And not sure what I should say for that matter. Did he mean on a hunt, on a date, or for some more nefarious purpose? Would I honestly say no to any of those options I pondered. I was in disbelief. Why did he want me? I could think of nothing that would make me stand out to him among all the other females of our kind; I was young, no more beautiful than any other vampire, nor more intelligent, and had very little to offer to anyone.

From the corner of my eye I saw that he leaned closer to me, sniffing the air around me, grinning. His hands under the table. I raised an eyebrow in his direction but he looked toward the front of the room. Tension rolled off of me in waves as I moved my chair away to the far edge of the table once more. His smile faltered and I attempted to appear interested in Mr. Banner's transparencies on the overhead projector, the same images I had seen with crystal clear precision through the microscope. But my thoughts were an uncontrollable riot.

When the bell finally rang, I rushed as swiftly out of the room as I had the day prior. And like yesterday I felt his eyes on me as I passed through the door.

I was unable to skip gym again, two days in a row would draw too much attention. So I was stuck, on a team with Mike, clutching my barely used racket and daydreaming. About Edward.

"Cullen and you seemed friendly today," he commented as we played. He did not seem overly pleased by that fact.

I tried to sound indifferent. "I guess. He's nice enough," I shrugged, purposely missing the birdie as it came my way. After that I barely paid any mind to his chatter, my thoughts more pleasantly occupied. A date. With Edward Cullen. What did vampires do on dates? Not eating ruled out restaurants. And running and hunting were fun, but not very social. The movies?

Shaking my head I tried to clear those thoughts. What was I thinking? How could I date him? That wouldn't even work. I was too worried about my reactions, about Charlie, about the life I had built in Forks to fuck it all up over some guy. Just because I couldn't keep my raging, middle-aged woman hormones in check. Damn, I sighed. Maybe being a forty-something year old virgin was finally getting to me.

The bell rang and I was out of the front doors before the crush of students, their heat and their smell, could press in around me. The cool, wet air of the common area was a blessing to my overwrought mind. The snow had stopped, turning once again to a drizzle. Trudging across the grass I swore I caught Edward's scent, the rush of it nearly knocking me over, but as I glanced around, pausing in order to use all of my faculties, I saw and heard nothing. Slipping into the words I breathed an unneeded sigh of relief, running a hand through my damp hair and peering back through the trees, toward the parking lot. Was I waiting to catch a glimpse of him? That shock of hair, so potent, so soft, it made my fingers ache to run through it.

"Looking for someone?" he whispered, pressed against my back, hands gripping my arms in a steely grasp. I would have been able to break free, maybe, if I wanted to. But for the time being I let him hold me.

My response was stuttering and embarrassingly slow to come, my attempt for nonchalance a failure, "Not really."

He smirked, I felt it on my neck, as he buried his face against my jugular. "Oh, because I thought maybe you were hoping to see me."

Squirming away from him only brought my ass closer to his groin. Edward groaned at the contact and I would have blushed, furiously, if only I was able. He was hard as a rock behind me, in more ways than one. Giving in for one second I allowed myself to feel the marble planes of his body, the temperature of his skin so like my own, the heat of his tongue as it darted out to taste my flesh. And then I tugged away, breaking free of his tenuous hold, and turning around to face him.

"What do you want, Edward?" I asked him, closing my eyes, inhaling his essence, trying to remain coherent in his presence.

"You never answered me," he stepped forward, disregarding the space I created between us, "in class I asked…"

But I interrupted him, "Actually, you did not phrase it as a question."

He chuckled, lips tilting upward, "Fine. Bella Swan, would you please do me the honor of going out with me this evening? Should I ask Charlie for permission?" Another step and we were chest to chest. I stifled a gasp at the contact, an jolt of electricity surging through me where we touched.

"I'm sorry," I nearly panted then sighed. "I think it would be better if we weren't friends."

"I don't know what you mean," he replied with a guarded expression.

"Just, trust me, okay?"

His eyes tightened, mouth twisting into a pained frown. His closeness made my unneeded breathing erratic. My hands, of their own volition, rested against his sculpted pectorals, not pushing him away, but absorbing the feel of him, locking the memory away in a secret, private part of my mind so that I could revisit it later, when I was alone.

Bending his face into mine, his breath ghosted across my cheek, "Please?" He begged, voice pleading and exquisitely broken.

And I absolutely crumbled, relenting and unaware of what I had done until the words had already escaped my lips. "Fine. You can come over tonight. But wait until after my brother's asleep. He doesn't want you at the house," I rushed before I could rethink my actions. "He thinks you're going to hurt me. He didn't like the way you looked at me." A pause. "And we're only going to talk, so don't think," but I never finished.

With a grin Edward interrupted me, lifting my hair to his face, inhaling deeply then sighing like a cat who got the cream. "Until tonight then," he exhaled lustily, turning and darting out to the parking lot, only slowing a fraction of a second before reaching his shiny silver Volvo and the four other Cullen's who waited there.

Fuck.

* * * *

A/N

Thank you for reading! And for leaving reviews! I really enjoy them :) Sorry this chapter took so long to get out - my "real" life got in the way - I would much rather have been updating.

Chapter 8 is complete - look for it on Friday!


	8. Because I Want You

Chapter 8 - Because I Want You

Bella

Edward was outside, hiding in the shadow of the dark woods, by ten o'clock that evening. Charlie was still watching the television downstairs, very awake, fidgeting, constantly moving. He had been nervous since the previous night's events. Understandably I thought as he did not truly understand what had transpired; I had only told him bits and pieces in a hope of placating him.

I worked through my normal routine: stretching, yoga, homework. Having changed into a loose-fitting, charcoal, cashmere sweater-top and soft, blue fleece pants, that hung dangerously low on my hips I settled in to continue reading; having moved on to the Italian Renaissance humanists, from my obsession with the bleak writings of nineteenth century Russian literature. It was Boccaccio and his _Decameron_ that held me in rapture. So I pretended as if there were not a breathtaking man waiting to climb into my open window like Shakespeare's Romeo. Mostly.

"Anxious to get here, were you?" I quietly asked the empty room and heard his responding chuckle, making me smile.

But we were only going to talk I reminded myself. Nothing more. No matter how persuasive his eyes, or lips, were. I maintained that our becoming involved was unwise, even our tentative friendship seemed doomed to failure as we could not keep our gaze, or more recently our hands, off of one another.

It was finally just after eleven that sound on the lower level ceased. My brother's heavy footfalls were heard on the creaking steps, water ran in the bathroom, a closet door opened and closed, bed springs squeaked, and lastly, by midnight, there was a deep, rumbling snore.

"Edward?" I whispered, calling out to him and feeling a bit of an idiot.

His hushed, laughing response came from directly beside my window. So concentrated on Charlie's turning in for the night, I had not noticed Edward climbing my trellis, so to speak. In reality we had none and he merely had to leap a few feet from the ground below to reach me. None the less my chest filled with romantic notions and an impossible fluttering. Then I mentally slapped myself.

"Who's anxious now?" He joked, climbing into my room.

"You're here," I informed him stupidly. And he looked perfect, standing there, in my bedroom. The first boy, that I wasn't related to, to be in my room since I was eight years old, a time before I learned that males were in fact different than their female counterparts. In fitted black jeans, green plaid flannel shirt, and black converses he could have been a model. My mind flitted back, thinking over every man I had ever seen. None of them measured up to even half of Edward Cullen.

"I am," he grinned.

"So, what do you want to do with the evening?"

Immediately his eyes darkened as his pink tongue darted out to sensuously wet his full lower lip. I couldn't help but stare, mesmerized. Mistake. I reconsidered my words and took a step backward, away from that dangerous mouth, and reminded him, "You wanted to talk."

"Actually," he began, laying across my bed, smiling hugely, his hands behind his head, his feet dangling off the end, the picture of ease, "that was your idea."

"But last night," I stammered.

Edward rolled his eyes but was clearly amused. "I may have been trying to lure you outside."

My eyes narrowed but I stayed silent. "I'm sorry," he said, obviously anything but apologetic. Sitting up he leaned forward and reached out with his long arms to grab hold of me, wrapping his sinewy arms around me and dragged me down to sit beside him on the bed.

"Why don't you sit with me," he suggested, practically purring.

"Um," unable to come up with a plausible excuse I stayed put, "alright." Edward's gaze roamed over my form making me shift and glance away from him his black eyes. I was unprepared to make conversation; I had never been good at conversing with boys I found attractive. The more I liked them the less coherent I became. That was definitely a trait I had brought with me from my human life. "So, do you have to write the essay on _Macbeth_? Because I really want to write something including Shakespeare's inspiration in regards to the Italian humanist movement. Dante, Machiavelli, Boccaccio. That sort of thing," I babbled, pulling a stray thread from the comforter.

"How about I ask the questions and you give the answers. It's so frustrating not knowing what's going on in there," he tapped my forehead with a smirk.

"Well," my forehead creased in consternation, "what do you want to know?"

"What's your favorite color?" he demanded first, face grave.

The questions banality caught me off guard and I found myself giggling. I do not know what I had been expecting from Edward, but it certainly was not that.

When I had been a living, breathing girl I liked purple. My bedroom had purple floral wallpaper, which I had thought very sophisticated. But then, at that moment, staring into his idyllic, open face, that answer rung hollow. So instead I said the first thing that had come to mind when he asked.

"Sunrise." And I knew it wasn't an actual color so I attempted to explain. "It's the combination of colors: pink, orange, yellow, blue. All cresting the horizon and painting the skyline. Every morning it's different but the same, it's reliably beautiful. No matter where in the world you are. And," I added, shrugging, "I'm always awake to see it."

In response he smiled, reaching over to hesitantly sweep my hair back behind my shoulder. "What music is in your CD player right now?" he asked, face as somber as if he had asked for a murder confession. We both turned to look at my player, a small, white Bose unit I had purchased while redecorating my bedroom.

And I realized that I had been listening to Nirvana, 'Rape Me', on repeat, since I arrived home that afternoon. It reminded me of Edward. "_In Utero,_" I admitted.

"I have that one," he said with a nod.

It continued like that as Edward Cullen questioned me relentlessly about every insignificant detail of my existence. My favorite movie. Difficult because I so rarely caught new films. I told him it was _Star Wars_ but I had not seen it since it's theatrical release when I was still a high school student. The first time around. Then it was the places I had been, lived. I told him about New York City, Edinburgh, my beloved Russia, and lastly Tillamook. We discussed books, endlessly. Jane Austen, specifically _Pride and Prejudice_, it being the dearest to my heart.

I couldn't remember the last time I had talked so much. And about myself. I felt self-conscious, certain that I would bore him with my short and simple life but the absolute absorption of his face compelled me onward, through my discomfort. I was not allowed to ask him any questions in return. Each time I tried, he tutted me, placing a finger over my lips, and shaking his head. Then it would be something else.

Most of them were easy, only a very few making me slip up or stammer, embarrassed. Such as the time he asked me about boys I had dated. I was afraid he would think of me as impossibly naive and downright juvenile when I finally confessed to my lack of experience. "There was one boy," I started. His fist grasped my quilt, seams pulling and threads tearing. Closing my eyes, hoping to avoid his scrutiny, I murmured, "I kissed him." I, of course, was not at the worst part of my sorted tale. Sighing, but determined to confess my sin, I added, "But I couldn't stop myself and I killed him. All I wanted was a kiss. No one had ever kissed me and I wanted to know what it was like. I never did it again."

Lifting my lids I perceived that Edward was in fact not horrified, disgusted, or amused. He was intent. Eyes on my lips, hands at my waist, head cocked to the side, face tilted toward me. Waiting. I definitely would have described him as waiting.

"So you never met anyone you wanted?" he pried.

"Not before."

His mouth formed a hard, thin line. "Before what?"

I licked my lips, leaned in and closed the gap between us. It was barely a peck. I pulled away after only a fraction of a second, telling him, "You."

Edward had been utterly still before, but as I kissed him he came to life. An explosion of heat and passion engulfing him as he clutched me, dragging my body roughly against his, pulling me into his lap, demanding I comply. The sudden change in him, the brutish way he held me had me keening, groaning against his lips. My cold veins burned with boiling blood, rushing into my lips and my over-sensitized, aching groin. Fingers knotting in his hair, yanking, my fingernails scraping his scalp. His hips thrust up into mine, I ground down against him on instinct and he grunted in satisfaction, doing it again. Parting my lips I inhaled his heady scent and felt a pooling moisture soaking my soft cotton yoga pants through my thin panties. Edward noticed. His hands drawn down to he wetness between my thighs.

Wrenching his face back and away Edward studied me with wild eyes. I prayed he would not choose to reject my advances. I had never wanted anything, in all of my days on earth, like I wanted him. I was mad for him. I would be devastated if he did not want me in kind. I was reminded that until only days before I had been perfectly content to live out my undead life alone, with my brother. I had never yearned for a mate. But Edward made me rethink, basically, everything. So much for just talking. I groaned and his mouth found mind once more, his tongue tracing the seam of my lips. Gasping as his palm cupped my breasts he took advantage, slipping in, his tongue engaging mine in battle. Twirling, dancing, playing. I bit his lower lip lightly, smiling at the guttural noise, which emanated from the back of his throat.

I was the next to break our kiss. His eyes were still untamed and ferocious as his jaw clenched in acute restraint, his face inches from mine. My chest heaved, forcing my breast further into his hand with each habitual breath I took, attempting to calm my raging body. "Oh," I exhaled, surprised by the intensity of our embrace. Edward shifted, adjusting himself underneath me. "Should I," I motioned, trying to disengage myself, to give him some space. But his hands refused to let me move, their grip stunning me. I had not know him to be so much stronger than me. Perhaps I would not be able to escape him if he did not wish to let me go. And that thought thrilled and excited me in the most perverse, unusual, and unexpected way. I was besotted.

"No," his eyes closed, voice rough. "Don't move," I nodded, staying. His lips twisted into an impish grin. "Good girl."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" the hardness of his cock pressed against my heated, desperate center in unimaginably delicious ways.

"I attacked you!"

"Oh, that," he drawled, lying back against the bed, leaving me sitting astride him. Eyes opening, Edward smiled so broadly his face seemed stretched to its limit. His fingers traced lazy patterns up and down my thighs. He sighed, "That was _very _nice."

Stilling his hands, I removed them from my person and placed them on his chest, glaring, "Stay."

Edward's expression became puzzled. "Did I do something wrong?" he asked, but there was humor in his tone.

"No," I huffed. "You're driving me crazy."

Considering it briefly he sounded pleased, smirking up at me triumphantly, "Really?"

"Would you like a round of applause?" I hissed, bending toward him and permitting myself one, slow, rock against the bulge in his black jeans. He grinned.

"I'm just pleasantly surprised," he clarified. "In the last hundred years or so," his voice was teasing, "I never imagined anything like this. I did not believe that I would ever find someone I wanted to be with. In a way other than my family, I mean. And then to find, even though it's all new to me, that I'm good at it, at being with you. It's quite pleasant."

"Wait," I stared. "Was that your first," I didn't have a name for what we had just done. It had certainly been more than a kiss. Did I just dry hump, Edward Cullen?

"French kiss?" he supplied. "Yes." I didn't think that that term was still popular. It was all about making out and hooking up. But I hadn't the heart to inform Edward of that fact, at least not right then. And though I did not know how it was possible, his admission left me feeling infinitely more turned on. I was infatuated with him. And his gorgeous mouth. And those devilish hands already inching their way back up my legs, tugging me further forward and creating a heated friction between our bodies.

"Edward," I sighed his name, a breathy moan.

"Yes," he looked up at me expectantly.

"What would you say if I told you that I wanted to fuck you? Right now."

His expression went from laughing, smiling, satisfied to dark, predatory, and dangerous in a span of time less than a second. Grasping my wrist he sat up, fiercely wrenching me against him, eyes burning into mine. "Don't tease me," he spat.

"I'm not," I replied, feathering the fingertips of my free hand over his cheek and into his hair, tugging it aggressively. Mewling, telling him, "I need you." Inching closer, trying to extricate myself from his steely grip. Edward did not relent or even loosen his hold on me. Instead he reached up, pulled my other hand away from his bronze locks, and clamped it in his fist along with the first. And in one savage motion he had me on my back, the bed creaking slightly underneath us and revealing how little control he had left. The animal in him was taking over.

My hands were above my head, arms stretched as though I was on a Medieval torture device. Had I been human, Edward would have already wrenched them from the sockets. As it was I was only mildly uncomfortable. Placing all of his weight on top of me, pressing me down into the mattress, brutally forcing my thighs open and thrusting himself against my wet center, Edward's unholy visage loomed above, like an archangel.

"Not here," he rutted against me again. I stifled an obscene moan with his shoulder, lifting my pelvis, desperate for more. It was all so new to me. The urges. The desires. But I was mad for it, burning up, and fit to burst with lust.

"Where?" I gasped.

"I know a place," he rushed, already off the bed and forcing me through the window, out into the night. It was nearly four in the morning by then. I glanced around, hoping no one would see me dashing off into the night. With a boy. What would the neighbors say, I wondered briefly, irrationally. I was a vampire. I stalked, killed, and drank the blood of animals nearly every night. But I never left via my bedroom window. It was kind of exhilarating.

Edward, never letting go of my hand, dragged, pushed, pulled, and marched me through the trees never exactly informing me of our destination. I should have guessed though. The meadow.

I had been there, both at night and in the daylight, alone of course. It was, simply put, the loveliest place on the Olympic Peninsula. It was unsurprising that Edward, like me, had found that beautiful spot. The meadow was small, perfectly round, and filled with wildflowers: violet, yellow, and soft white. Just outside the central circle was a bubbling stream, the sweet scent of the clear water, mingled with the flowers was a potent perfume.

Brushing against my back, Edward nudged me onward, out of the forest and through the fringe of ferns. As a human I would have been tripping over my feet in anticipation and nerves but as it was I had only to think of lying in the soft, fragrant grass and I was. Edward materializing above me, his palms resting lightly against my shoulders, keeping me in place but with no strength behind his actions. His lips were on mine, hands trailing down my sides, pausing at my breasts, caressing my stomach, before looping around to grip my hips, lifting them into his own, pressing his erection into my parted thighs.

His breath warmed me, igniting my body wait a raging passion. Moving to my neck, I felt the rough, wet pad of his tongue sweep from my earlobe to my clavicle and I nearly melted, moaning my approval into the fragrant air of the early morning.

Dragging his mouth back to mine our teeth clashed. The kiss was desperate as I locked my arms around his neck, fingers raking his neck and scalp, violently tugging at his hair. Edward's palms slid slowly upward, as I continued to push up against his rutting hips and he drilled down into me. His hands were at the edge of my sweater, bunching the light cashmere around my middle, before unceremoniously tugging it over my head. I was wearing no bra, so there I lay, topless in the grass, beneath a savage young god, and feeling thoroughly debauched. It was by far the best moment of my life.

It was my turn and with fingers steadier than I felt, I popped each button on his shirt, tracing the perfect plans of his alabaster chest, pushing his shirt over his shoulders and off. With a grunt of satisfaction his body crashed down on mine, momentarily trapping my hands. But we were finally skin to skin; the electricity, the shock of it, making me hiss with pleasure. I rubbed against him shamelessly. I felt powerful. Brave.

"Please, Edward," I begged, my hand moving between our bodies, finding its way to his jean covered cock, which strained against its fabric enclosure to greet me.

He was breathing in rough gasps, instinctually, a lingering human trait, and I smirked, immensely enjoying the way I affected him, happy to know that I was not alone in that arena.

"I want you," I told him, popping the button on his pants. He mirrored the action. I hummed my appreciation, caressing the soft skin under his waistband.

"I'm burning for you," he groaned, driving against me, forcing me back into the dirt, where a deep crevice was forming under our bodies. His hands were in my hair, on my face, tracing the column of my throat. I quivered with a need for more; more contact, more friction, more Edward. "The things I want to do to you," he exhaled harshly, lips returning to my jugular, sucking a pulse against my cold, silent skin. Hot puffs of air escaped his flared nostrils, driving me mad, making me impossibly wetter. Teeth nipped softly at my ear and I nearly lost it, clawing at his chest, hands scrambling to his zipper, wrenching it down and nearly separating it from the denim fabric.

Touching my damp, kiss swollen lips to his ear, my tongue flicked out, licking the delicate shell, and I moaned. The flavor of his skin even more intoxicating that the smell. I yearned for his voice, the breathy words as sexy as his perfect body, his soft hair, and lush mouth. They had me keening almost as much as his actions. I felt stretched, taught as a bowstring, ready to unravel.

"Oh god, please," I begged, barely knowing exactly what I was asking for. Slipping my eager hand into his jeans, my fingertips brushed over the velvety skin of his erection, hot and pulsing against me. It was enthralling. I grabbed him shamelessly, gripping his dick, trying to take its measure, and experimenting with a small tug. Edward's mouth stilled as he raised up, his stormy, dark eyes exploring my face before his lips smashed into mine, covering them, demanding and ferocious. He was like a barbarian, an uncivilized animal on me, and I never wanted him to stop. Tightening my thighs around him I held him in place against me; my sex on fire.

Edward's eager fingers tugged at my pants, dragging them half way down my legs, leaving them a tangle around my knees, before skimming my soaked seam through the layer of cotton, which covered me.

"Do it," I rushed, imploring him to remove the barrier. I grinned to myself, praying he would roughly tear them from me, finding the image of that extremely sexy. "Do what you want with me, Edward." I panted, whispering harshly, "Twist me, ruin me. I want it."

My thumb brushed over the head of his weeping cock making him buck sloppily, his perfect teeth digging into that full lower lip. I whimpered, wanting to do that. To feel the lush flesh there. To sink my teeth into him, mark him as mine.

He seemed frozen, disheveled and unrestrained, but unable to move.

"Fill me, I'm dying for it." I had no idea where the words were coming from; a stream of conscious spilled unbidden and inarticulate from my lips. I had never talked dirty in my life. Maybe it was instinctual.

"I've waited," I rambled, peppering kisses from his neck down to his chest, "so long."

And at that moment he leapt back from me. Still between my legs, but up on his knees, looking frantic and distraught. Bare chested, jeans open, his thick shaft standing up to salute me, I stared, confused.

"Fuck," he groaned, running his hands roughly through his hair.

Propping myself up on my elbows I glared at the distance between us, the lack of heat, needing the feel of his smooth skin against my own. I nodded enthusiastically, "Please."

He pulled away from my greedy fingers as I reached out to drag him back to me. "What are you doing?" I demanded, feeling wanton with bare breasts, legs spread, hair a tangled mess.

"I can't," he mumbled, backing further away, toward the meadow's edge. "I can't. Don't you see?"

I shook my head in the negative. I had no idea what he was rambling about.

"I want you, I want you so much, Bella." The sound of my name on his tongue hit me in the lower abdomen, adding fuel to the scorching fire there.

Waving a hand over myself I reminded him, "And clearly offering." I threw my head back, staring up at the stars, "So, what's the problem?"

Tugging at his hair Edward appeared half mad. "I want you to give yourself to me," I lifted an eyebrow, I was obviously doing just that, and he continued, "for the right reasons."

"The right reasons," I intoned, voice flat, unbelieving.

"Not just because you want to get laid, finally."

And that had me grabbing my shirt, yanking it over my head, as I violently tugged my hair back, securing it with an elastic band. "Are you fucking with me?" I seethed. He replied in the negative. "You ridiculously little tease," I sprung up. "How dare you treat me like this!"

"I love you," he rasped.

And I laughed, harshly and without mirth. "You don't love me. You're obsessed with me. That's not the same thing, you fucking psychopath. I mean, what's wrong with you?"

"I'm protecting you?"

"From what? Actually enjoying myself?" I was furious, rage clawing at my insides, twisting me. "You aren't normal. There's something wrong with you, Edward. I'm here. Throwing myself at you," he stared, eyes wide, passive but black in the coming dawn. "You want this too, you want me. I felt it. I see it," glancing pointedly at his crotch. He made no comment. His silent acceptance of my words as painful as his rejection of my body.

Whether he saw the blow coming I do not know but I know that he felt it; my fist impacted his face with a shattering echo. Edward's head snapped to the side, he did not bring his eyes back to me. "Take me," I pleaded, "take what you want." But he made no reply.

Roughly shoving him to the side I made to flee the meadow and his agonizing presence.

"Bella, wait!" he called but I was moving, sprinting, flying through the trees. His steps were close behind but I knew from past experience that he was no match for me in a sprint and if needed I could always vanish.

"Leave me alone," I croaked, voice broken by dry sobs. The urge to cry choked me, tore me from the inside out. It was torture, the fact that we were denied the overwhelming catharses of tears. He followed still. As I spun, I saw him, hunting me, leaping through the dark green of the forest. "I told you this was a bad idea," I said, staring through him.

"I just want to talk to you."

"That's what you always say, Edward Cullen. And you never just want to talk. You want to take me, build me up, and tear me to pieces. And for that I hate you," I snarled, whirling around, uprooting a small tree and tossing it behind me. He remained unmoving, catching the offending object before it crashed into him.

"Bella," he sighed, softly.

"Stay away from me," I replied stonily, never turning back.

But as the anger drained from me it was replaced by more appropriate feelings: rejection, shame, and self-loathing. I had been cruel. Callous. And I would not blame Edward if he never spoke to me again. Climbing back through my window, the sky turning a rosy hue, I collapsed on the hard, wooden floorboards, curled into a ball and waiting for my torn and broken heart to destroy me, kill me, reduce me to ash. I longed to scream and wail but knew Charlie would wake soon and I would have to put up a brave front.

I told Charlie I was calling out of school that day, claiming that the weather report had promised sunshine in the afternoon. I planned to go for a long hunt, maybe into Canada, I explained, but would be back in time for his dinner that evening. And no, nothing was wrong, nothing about those Cullen's, I just wanted some time to get away and be myself. Not have to pretend. He hugged me, climbed into the cruiser, and drove to work. I returned to my room, resumed my position on the floor, and stayed as still as a statue until twilight, when the weak, cloud covered sun finally settled beyond the horizon.

I did not return to school Thursday or Friday. My brother informed them that I had a stomach flu and was barely able to get out of bed but promised that I would return on Monday. He made me swear to that fact as well and I did, reluctantly. I had been taking the cowards way out and knew I would be forced to face Edward soon enough. No denying it in a town as small as Forks.

There was something so high school, so melodramatic about the whole sorted affair. But maybe, I thought in a sudden burst of angst, I would always be more of a teenager than an adult, no matter my age. I had been made a vampire when I was eighteen and a part of me had never progressed beyond that age. The pain of first love, of stigmatization, of rejection, was as fresh for me in Forks, with Edward, as it was at my first high school and in my one semester at college. I had never experienced the lust and passion of a requited crush, not when I was human, but had experiences those other pains of youth, and as a vampire I imagined the feelings infinitely amplified. The deep well of my emotions making me feel ten-fold what I could have as a child.

"This was your decision, Bells. You have to be the one to see it through," he paused. "If you have to leave, I understand. But you can't hide out in the house all day, everyday. How does that look?"

Grumbling, I informed him, "I'm not hiding."

His mustache twitched in something akin to amusement. "No, of course you're not," his eyes were definitely twinkling. "Big scary monster and all that."

"Shut it, Uncle C."

He exhaled. "It's Friday. And I'm working the second shift. So why don't you take the afternoon and go down to Port Angeles, do some shopping, buy something. Isn't that what girls do to make themselves feel better?"

"That's actually not a terrible idea," I perked up for the first time in more than forty-eight hours. "So I'll ignore just how old you sounded then."

Chuckling, "Thanks. Now get dressed. And scoot."

I kissed his cheek in passing, bounding up the stairs, and dragging clothes out of my closet. Grabbing a gray, cashmere sweater dress and a pair of red, lace tights I dressed in flurried rush. Corresponding gray leg-warmers, my black hiking boots, and the Ray-Ban Aviators finished me. My hair was loose, wild, and untamed. I thought about twisting it up but decided instead to leave it down, to let it fly out around me as I sprinted south through the forest. I was feeling strangely reckless.

So I would buy some new shoes, ridiculous, impractical ones that would be ruined the first time I wore them in the rain. And lacy underwear that no one would ever see, as I continued to age, a lonely spinster, living with her brother, and trapped in the body of an unearthly beautiful young woman. And while I doubted that any purchase could fix in me what Edward had broken only days before, I hoped they would at least distract me from the agony. For a few hours. I sighed.

* * * *

**A/N** - Thank you again for reading! And indulging my little obsession. Your reviews have brightened my week! And I am thrilled after every email saying someone put this little story on their alert list! I appreciate every comment and hope this chapter lived up to them.

Question - would you like to hear this chapter from Edward's POV? Or rather I get on with the story and the next chapter? I have been jotting down his side of this from the beginning and don't know whether I should give it its own chapter or just include a bit in the next. Let me know if you have an opinion! Thanks.

Next chapter? There might be some actual sex - but you'll have to wait and see!

Disclaimer - I do not own Twilight. Only this little alternate universe is mine.


	9. Infra Red

A/N - So, I almost gave up on this story. But people kept adding it to their favorites so I didn't. So, thank you! I hope you're still willing to read it, to indulge me. This is an Edward chapter - the next will return to Bella's POV. Thanks! - E.

Chapter 9 - Infra-Red

Edward

We were only going to talk. That was what she had said but how could I have stopped my eyes from gazing longingly at her nearly transluscent, bare shoulder and clavicle. And after her rather extravagant display, stretching, parading her supple form by the window repeatedly, it took all of my will power not to just bend her over and take her across the sill. But when she allowed me to ask her an endless stream of questions, answering each patiently. Her sweet stammering embarrassment as she admitted to her first and only kiss was enough to end me. I went from enraged and jealous to blessedly relieved in a second. Bella had never been with a man, with anyone. She had never wanted anyone. Until me. If my heart still beat in my chest I was sure, right in that moment, it would have stopped entirely.

Bella would be mine. I would be her first, her only. I would take her and know that for eternity no other man would have her. And with those thoughts the monster, the animal within took over, controlled me and my actions. His need to possess Bella, to consume her, ran rampant. He was obsessed. So I moved too fast, was too aggressive. She told me I drove her crazy and the beast rejoiced, urged me on, held her, forced her down onto the mattress, all but devouring her. And while my abuse of her body sickened me, Bella keened, moaning with pleasure.

The meadow had been a colossal mistake but my desire filled brain could not think straight; there was nothing but sex and lust and flesh. Consummation in the most literal way was what I yearned for; I wanted to consume Bella Swan, body and soul, remove the parts of us that were separate beings and merge into one ultimate whole. But that wasn't the real me, it wasn't who I wanted to be for her. I wanted to be good, to deserve her gasps, for her to give herself over to me willingly, not just succumb to the beast. When we were there, in the grass, her lithe, glorious curves beneath me, her breathy sighs against my neck, begging me to take her in the very way I had imagined for so long, I regained something of that former self, of my composure.

I loved Bella. I had to protect her virtue, her sweetness from the monster. But she was so willing, so yielding. The desire was overwhelming. My internal struggle would have killed a lesser being, torn a human to pieces, destroyed his very essence. The pain of it was unbearable. And then, on top of everything else, Bella made it very clear, what she thought about being with me: I was a means to an end. The girl wanted to fuck. She was ready, I was available. It was a crushing blow; to be only convenient was almost as agonizing as having to pull myself way from her, to let her go.

After, as I watched Bella run away from me, her hair flying around her in wild chocolate waves, her clothes rumpled, broken and stricken, I followed. She refused to speak with me, tired of the old rouse, battered. She slipped silently, gracefully back through her bedroom window and then nothing. There was no movement, no sound and I returned home heartbroken.

Alice was waiting for me out front, sitting on the steps. _You made the right choice._ She had seen everything. _But you were wrong too._

"About what?"

She smiled sadly, standing and patting my back pityingly, "You were never convenient, Edward." And with that she turned, entering the house with me in her wake.

"But…"

Alice looked forward, images flowing through her mind seamlessly until she found the one she wanted, my disappointed face standing in the halls of Forks High. "Bella will not be at school today."

"Will she run?" It was the only question that truly mattered to me then; it seemed a distinct possibility.

Bella was an anomaly and Alice could not see her future, couldn't even see her in mine, only my reactions. A picture did pop into my sister's thoughts though, unbidden, giving me a glimpse of a very solid, very possible outcome. My reactions, my emotions, the words spilling from my lips, the all consuming desire I felt, they all pointed to another encounter with my girl. _You may have made the right choice this time_, she paused, sighed, _but you won't always_, and then she vanished upstairs.

Though my sister was rarely wrong I opted to go to school with the others that day, just to check and see if Bella was there by some chance or miracle. She wasn't and by lunch I was distraught. Without her sitting beside me in Biology I was miserable. Bella was all I could think of. Unable to bear her absence any longer I planned to skip Spanish. Alice caught up to me at the edge of the woods, "Don't." I stopped but didn't turn around. "Give her some time. Stay away, just for a few days." I nodded, dejected but accepting what she said.

Tossing Alice the keys to my Volvo I escaped the school grounds, running in the opposite direction of the Swan house, through the trees, along the highway, and down to Seattle before coming back. I avoided my family's questioning stares and shared looks of worry, hiding in my room, thinking only of Bella. Her bare breasts in my hands, the feel of her small hand stroking my cock, her ripe, lush lips leaving a trail of heat that I had never imagined in my wildest fantasies. I spent the entire night unmoving, without drawing a breath, as still as a statue, laying flat, facedown on my couch. I replayed our every moment together, even those from before I had ever seen her or known her name, both blessing and cursing my perfect vampire memory. But I refused to touch myself, to give myself release in any form. I deserved to be punished as I deserved Bella's hatred. I was weak and disgusting, I had debased the most ethereal creature in the world and then turned away from her with out explanation. She had offered herself to me, an angel giving herself over a demon, and I had rejected her because of my own failings and inadequacies.

I hoped, prayed, begged for Bella's return to school the following day but again she was absent.

"Stomach flu," her friend Angela told me, stammering and blushing furiously as I gazed into her kind, brown eyes. Obviously that was a lie Bella had conjured up to appease unsuspecting humans but at least it informed me that she planned to come back at some point.

By dusk that evening I was pacing the Cullen home like a caged animal, snarling, and ignoring the concern of those around me.

_How long are we going to be expected to put up with his moods?_ Rosalie wondered testily.

Esme frowned, _Poor Edward_, glancing at my father, pleadingly. Carlisle nodded to her, taking the hint as I sighed, already knowing what was coming.

"Edward?" He rose, beckoning me, "May I speak with you in my office?" I did not respond but sullenly stood and walked with him from the room.

We took our seats as my father thought about what exactly he wanted to say. He wanted me to be open with him but did not wish to pry as I was very much an adult with a right to live my own life. Before he could utter a word I told him, "I really don't want to talk about what happened."

His mouth was set in a grim line, his brow reflecting his discomfort. "I've spoken with Alice," he began and my head snapped up in surprise. "Now, before you say anything, she did not divulge what you told her in confidence." I visibly relaxed. "But she did tell me your mood was due to something that occurred with Bella the other night," he sighed, giving me a pointed glare, "which is why I expressly asked you to give her space."

"We had a misunderstanding, that's all."

Carlisle's smirk told me that he had a good idea exactly what our misunderstanding was about. "Of course," he replied smoothly, still fucking grinning as I sat across the desk from him, avoiding his gaze. "Alice also said she told you to give Bella time," I confirmed that fact. "I agree with her, Edward." Of course he did. "There is still so much we don't know about her. About where she came from. Who she really is."

"I don't need to know those things to know how I feel about her."

"No, of course not. But don't you want to know who made her? How she has survived all this time on her own?"

I lifted my shoulders indifferently, "She killed people to survive. So have I." Carlisle could never truly understand what it was to taste human blood, the incredible power and completion you felt after having drunk your fill. But I remembered. "Bella lived in New York, Scotland, Russia, Canada. She travelled, moving nearly constantly, never in one place for long, living completely alone, a nomad."

"So, she's told you something of her life."

"What she is comfortably with me knowing right now."

"Has she ever mentioned her creator?" he wondered, fingers steepled in front of his face as he looked toward me pensively.

"No. And I didn't ask."

"As far as I can deduce, Edward, Bella most likely never knew her creator. The fact that she turned out as balanced and adjusted as she has is an amazing feat. A young vampire alone could easily have turned savage, but she didn't. She could have been wild, nothing more than another monster for the Volturi to put down, so to speak."

"Like Alice," I commented offhandedly.

He released a gust of air, "Yes, precisely. But Alice had her visions." His thoughts became unclear as he suddenly started cataloging his patients at the hospital over the past week, thinking of their impending follow-up appointments. Carlisle was masking, keeping me out, and I had enough sense and respect to keep silent on the topic. He would share when he was ready for me and the family to know. Then adding, "Though there is so much to learn about her and her gift. It is quite remarkable. I have never seen or heard of another like it. But we must first gain her trust. Do you understand what I mean?"

"You want me to put my feelings for her aside. Again."

"Yes," he agreed sadly, "for now."

The beast gnashed it's teeth, snarling. No more setbacks, he would not stand for it. But for my father's sake I tried to be reasonable, responsible. But I knew what I needed to do and it was not give Bella space and time as everyone continually told me. I had to speak with her, explain what had happened, how I truly felt.

"I appreciate what you're saying, Carlisle, I do and of course I want to know more. I am dying to know more. Why can't I hear her thoughts? Why can Alice only see the future around her? How does she run so fast and then just disappear? But right now I have to apologize. Bella deserves that."

He regarded me seriously for a long moment then nodded, relenting. "The heart wants what the heart wants," he admitted with a wane smile. "Tell her how you feel, because with our kind it is eternal, but that does not mean you can leave a woman guessing. Be honest. Be open." _She can't read your mind_, he thought with a laugh.

"And I can't read her's," I sighed.

"It appears you have finally found someone that you are on an equal footing with," he grin grew, stretching across his timeless face. "Don't let her get away from you, son."

Friday brought with it another day without Bella. I was tormented. I desperately desired to go to her; it was selfish, my need to be around her, inhaling her intoxicating scent, basking in her mere presence. And yet I didn't, too afraid of her rejection to approach her so I went for another run after school and ended up back in our meadow. I laid down in the impression made by Bella's body as I had rutted against her shamelessly. Her fragrance lingered there and I was immediately hard, my erection straining impossibly against the tight black jeans I wore. With a frustrated growl I finally gave into my urges, roughly tugging myself to release, lasting only a matter of seconds, and spending myself, surrounded by the Bella scented grass as I pictured her gorgeous, naked, wanton body, hair cascading around her breasts as she rode me to sweet release.

When I entered the house Alice was seated on the sofa, reading a French fashion magazine, her legs casually across Jasper's lap as he watched an old Western, scoffing at the numerous historical inaccuracies but enthralled none-the-less. They each called out a greeting and went back to their prior activities. _Edward_. I did not falter in my step but quickly caught my sister's eye. _It's the wrong choice but you've already made it._ I raised my eyebrows in question. _Bella is in Port Angeles._ And I was gone, in the Volvo and on the road before Jasper glanced up to see what was going on.

I started to feel anxious as I drove through the sparse traffic coming into the center of town. Alice had seen me, assumably with Bella, but I had no idea where she might be. I knew Port Angeles well but had not recognized the buildings, with their dark brick walls, in Alice's vision. First I tried a little bookstore, Bella dearly loved reading. She had been there but the scent was too faint, she had already gone, leaving me to guess at her direction, her fragrance pervaded every inch of the town, muddling my tracking abilities.

As I flitted through the minds of strangers, looking for her through their eyes, I knew that someone must have seen her. An unearthly beauty like Bella got noticed. And there was nothing, pointless, trivial, everyday drudgery. Until finally, _Here she comes again. Hey, girly! You want some company?_ The series of images that accompanied were so repulsive and vile that I was certain the man in question was speaking to Bella. Mine, the monster bellowed with rage. He surged forward, hungry to protect what was his.

"No," I roared, a volley of snarls tearing from my throat. But Bella could take care of herself. So I honed in on his mind and those of his cowardly cronies, their only thoughts were of pain and fear.

I worried for Bella, for her strength to turn her back on temptation, on instincts and nature. She had not lived even as long as Jasper had as a vegetarian and she had admitted prior mishaps to me. If she hurt them, spilled their blood, I doubted that she would be able to control her thirst. Bella would feed and the red eyes, the indignity, the guilt would return and then she would run, flee to punish herself. And I would lose her.

There were no windows on the walls around them. They were somewhere industrial, away from the more populated shopping district. My car squealed around a corner, swerving past another vehicle, heading in what I hoped was the right direction.

_Oh, God! Please, no! _One mentally screamed out in terror.

Another man, watching in horror, tried to justify himself to her, _We only wanted to have a little fun._ Then he was running, howling in pain, his shoulder violently dislocated.

_Screw this!_ Another disappeared, moving swiftly past a street sign and then I knew where to go. Only the ring leader was left, praying, weeping, choking, and alone. I flew through a red light, I was a block away, spinning sharply around the corner, and my headlights washed across the scene, illuminating Bella in all of her terrible glory. She glanced up at me, apparently without surprise, and then returned her attentions to her prey. He danged from her clutches by his throat, toes barely scraping the pavement beneath him. The front of his pants were soaked with urine.

As I approached Bella slowly, as one might do with a dangerous, wild animal, she greeted me, "Edward," while smiling harshly, ruthlessly.

"You don't want to do this," I told her, palms outstretched in supplication to show I meant no harm, that I was not a threat to her in that moment.

"Aw," she taunted the quivering, weeping man in her grasp, "he doesn't want me to kill you." And then turned to me, "Afraid you'll want a piece once you've smelled the blood?" Bella roughly shoved his head to the side, exposing the bare column of his neck and the pounding pulse within. "Want to share?" Was that the mistake Alice foretold? But I knew myself, trusted myself. Mostly. Bella was the wildcard.

"Is that what you want? If you kill him there's no more high school, no more supposedly normal life. Say good-bye to Forks, to Charlie," I took a step closer. The man's vision was going hazy, he was close to blacking out, darkness creeping in around the edges. "Just let him go. My family will take care of him later. We have a way of dealing with these kinds of men."

"But Lonny and I have grown so close," the man in question protested weakly, legs swinging. But with one more long look at me Bella dropped him. He landed with a thud on the damp pavement, trying to crawl away with as much speed as he could muster. Bella grinned, wiping her hands on her dress before striking out with one well aimed kick to the man's midsection. There was a sickening crunch as Lonny groaned as his ribs cracked, but he continued to drag his broken body out of the alley. "That was for all the girls who couldn't fight back, you sick fuck. I hope you bleed to death internally before anyone finds your miserable, broken body," she spat venom, vibrating with rage.

Watching her, my body pulsed with need. I was greedy to touch her, feel her, own her body. I wanted to punch her, to pound my cock into her, to make her scream. And I was really fucking angry. "What's wrong with you?" I seethed. "Do you know what would have happened if you had spilled his blood?"

She snorted, a half laugh, incredibly unladylike. "How did you ever get so high and mighty, Edward?" But she wasn't teasing, her gaze burned, the condemnation of her words searing my flesh. "We're monsters, murderers. A few stints in high school, pretending to be children can't change that fact, can't erase our multitude of sins. So where the fuck do you get off?"

My brain shifted gears, reminding me that I usually got off in my hand but if I didn't fucking blow it again perhaps the next time could be in her quivering quim. She was even more beautiful than normal in her fit of pique. I was rigid, straining, the beast begging me to show her exactly how much of a monster I was as I adjusted myself, drawing her eyes to my crotch. "You want to see the sinner in me? The killer of men?"

But her eyes were dead, flat. She went to move around me, to escape. "Leave me alone. I've already played this game with you and I didn't like it."

Running my tongue along my teeth before snapping my mouth shut I tried not to grin, didn't want to come off too smug, and breathed into her ear, "You certainly seemed to enjoy it enough at the time." Smirking, I grabbed her wrist, holding her in place, leaning in to inhale the rich, heady scent of her flesh, so close, so enticing. I was goading her but I didn't know how else to get her attention. And it did work to a point: Bella cracked her fist against my jaw, the sound of it reverberating around the alleyway.

The punch only added to my fervor, my need to possess her. I was so sexually keyed up that I could barely keep from savagely taking her with, or without permission right there, pressed up against the alley wall. Yanking her aggressively, pulling her against me, I hissed, "Be careful, Sweetheart. I won't play your punching bag much longer," I paused, caught her gaze, made sure she saw the fury written plainly on my visage before continuing, "I am a very dangerous man and you are pushing me to my fucking limit." She snuck a second jab to my ribcage. Marble pounding into marble, like thunder, it echoed through the still night air, and I snapped. It was instinct.

A growl tore from deep within me as I shoved Bella backward until her shoulders slammed into the wall behind her. Taking hold of her other wrist I restrained her, pinned her, crowded her with my body. "Is this what you wanted?"

In return she struggled, thrashing against me, hissing and spitting as she attempt to free herself from my iron grasp. "Get off of me, you fucking psycho," she ordered, eyes wild, body taut as a bow string.

I nearly chuckled as I blocked her next blow: an attempted knee to the groin, sloppily executed, slow, desperate. But weary of her repeated attacks I sighed. All I had wanted was a chance to apologize, to explain my actions. Bella though had managed to make me forget that fact all while winding me up in only a matter of moments. So finally with a last, weak kick to my shin and a grunt of vexation I stared into the lovely pair of eyes across from me and felt my resolve dwindle and then dissolve completely as I gave into my buried, animalistic, primal nature. Holding both of Bella's delicate wrists with one hand I used the other to brutally seize her slender throat and smash her skull into the bricks. They cracked under the force, dust and plaster showering us as the building trembled. I bellowed, "Stop it!," dragging her along my body, allowing my free hand to roam from Bella's neck, down to her waist, where I clutched her to me, rubbing her against the rigid lump in my jeans. Her eyes dropped then returned to mine; she glanced away coquettishly with a self-satisfied smile lifting her lips, looking devious and wicked and impossibly sexy. She had what she wanted and she fucking knew it. My brain was quickly shutting down, all reason fleeing, with my last sentient thought I pleaded desolately, "I came to say I was sorry. To talk…"

"I'm done talking to you, Edward," she replied lightly, tugging at her bonds, testing the steel trap that held her prisoner.

"The other night," I started and Bella howled in exasperation, brutally crashing her mouth onto mine, swallowing my words. And so I gave myself over to her entirely. There was nothing sweet or chaste about the kiss; it was fire and passion and pain. Bella moaned, thrusting her hips out eagerly, engaging me. I groaned, lost in her, my hand dipping down to run along the warm, soaked seam of her red lace tights, then yanking, tearing them away, exposing her silken, alabaster thighs and sopping sex to my seeking fingers. Our teeth clashed as our tongues dueled, battling for dominance.

Bella was plaint, wet and wanting, begging. I released one of her hands, which immediately dropped down to the straining bulge trapped between us and with a sigh of pure pleasure she popped the button at my fly, making me grunt and lap vigorously at her neck. Barely able to hold my head up I rested it on her shoulder, "Take it out," I said huskily, rutting against her palm. "And be a good girl, Bella, or you'll be sorry." Nipping at her earlobe made Bella snarl as she bore down onto my hand, the wetness there increasing tenfold. So, she liked shows of aggression, being dominated. The monster rejoiced at his luck, tickled her folds, and pinched her clit savagely.

My cock wept in her hold, pulsed, yearned, as Bella's thumb slid over the tip, dragging the moisture she found there down my shaft, tugging experimentally. I moaned, babbling to her, urging her on, as she grew more confident, learned I liked it rough, as I rucked that soft, knit dress up around her waist. Slipping my fingers out of her, she clamped down, muscles demanding I stay, a half snarl escaped her kiss swollen lips. I hushed her sloppily with my seeking mouth while using my knee to nudge those tempting, bare thighs further apart so I could run the head of my dick along the hot, wet, heat of her slit.

A very small, rational part of my mind screamed for me to stop, to slow down, show some respect, have a little dignity but I was beyond that. It was no match for the monster who ruthlessly surged forward, driving into her, burying myself to the hilt with one long thrust. Bella gasped, her eyelids fluttering closed as her cherubic little mouth dropped open erotically, making me think of her sucking my fingers, my cock. I pulled out, pushed back in, stuck my fingers between her lips. She was too fucking lush for me to hold back, her inner walls grasped at me imploringly. The scent, her smell was so close, it surrounded me, and it was amplified by that moist heat, which emanated from her. I was afraid I would simply combust right there but what a tragically beautiful way to go.

She panted harshly, whispering for more. Her lithe, acrobatic form enveloped me like a boa constrictor with its prey: legs wrapped around my waist, she ground herself against me, raking one hand roughly through my already disheveled hair while locking the other around my neck. Her mouth sought mine as I ravished her. I Lapped at her still pulse point and Bella moaned pornographically, grunting, "Harder, faster, more. Oh, god. Please, Edward." And it took everything in me not to blow my load just then. I was debauching Bella Swan, the one, after the hunting, the lusting, I finally had her, she was mine. I was living my most debased fantasies and reality was proving to be far better.

Above us bricks and plaster cracked, crumbling to the ground around us. With each additional thrust the wall shook as though it had been hit by a small wrecking ball. Bella's climax drew nearer, her unnecessary breathing becoming erratic, and I maliciously slowed my pace, purposefully denying her completion. I leaned in, possessive and out of control, took one delicate earlobe between my teeth, and demanded in a savage whisper, "Say you're mine."

Her mouth opened, that delicate pink tongue darting out to wet her lower lip, "I'm yours," she panted.

"You do this with no one else. Ever. For eternity."

"No one else," she replied, voice hitching.

"Look at me," she did, eyes opening, gazing into my own searchingly. "Swear it."

"Oh god," Bella whimpered as I twisted my hips, slamming back into her at a new angle. "I swear. I'm yours, Edward."

Music. Honeyed bliss. No words in my long life had ever sounded so sweet, so perfect. I bared my teeth to her, gloating, "Say it again."

"Yours. I'm yours. Only yours. Always."

And without further thought I brought my head down, sinking my teeth into her neck and slashing her jugular. I tore through the white, marble skin, enraptured. For one vampire to bite another in such a way shows the dominance and control of one over another. It was symbolic. The mark would be with her forever; it would be there plainly for all to see. Bella was taken. She belonged to Edward Cullen.

And she wouldn't have been my Bella if she hadn't fought back, cried out, her small palm pushing at my face as I drank deeply, its companion continuing to clutch at my hair drawing me closer, giving me access. Instinct was at war with need, with desire. Of course it would have been painful, a vampire bite, our venom getting under the skin of another of our kind, it wasn't pleasant but I tried to sooth her, licking at the wound when I had pulled back. I was so close but wanted her to come with me, to drop off that edge together. And she did only moments before I spilled myself inside of her with a roar.

The instant after I withdrew, the guilt, the shame of my actions and behavior rushed in to crowd my thoughts. I could not bring myself to look into Bella's eyes, I stared at my feet as I shoved myself back into my pants, zipped the fly, and sighed, terrified of what the girl across from me might be thinking. I had allowed the beast to have control, he had used and abused her, and I knew she would be horrified. Bella would never be with me again; I had lost her.

Sneaking a glance in her direction I caught her surreptitiously fingering my mark with a grimace; mortification flooded me, what if she was disgusted? I had been impulsive. She had not granted me any sort of permission, I had presumed. I was an asshole. Carlisle and Alice were right.

The expression on her face tortured me, it was mystifying. "What are you thinking?" I blurted, panic tinging my voice as I searched her gaze in earnest.

And then Bella fucking floored me; she smirked, running her tongue slowly along her lips, first the top and then the bottom, not even attempting to tame her mane of unruly sex hair, as she leaned back into the wall, casually caressing her naked thigh. She looked like a deviant goddess. I was immediately hard again, making me groan in frustration. I wondered if my ardor for her would ever cool or would my need for her always be so all consuming, so passionate? I was beginning to understand my family behavior all the more. But that did not change the fact that I knew Bella Swan would be the fucking ruin of me. Though I guessed that it was fair play as I most assuredly intended to be her downfall.

"This thing is going to be just as difficult to hide as a hickey," she grumbled, rubbing at the bite. And it was permanent, I thought, but chose to say nothing, fearing her possible wrath, so instead I frown, tried to appear penitent. "And I thought I had been lucky enough to avoid those juvenile embarrassments. Thank a lot, Edward," she added without spite, shoving coyly at my shoulder, winking. I found myself at a complete loss. Bella wasn't shamed or furious, she was flirting with me. I had misread her entirely it seemed and for that I was utterly grateful.

"I'm sorry about that," I sighed, eyes cast down, as I observed the crumpled, destroyed mess I had made of her tights. "Sometimes I feel like the monster, the vampire, " I shrugged helplessly, wishing I could have been more articulate, "takes control."

Her lips twitched upward in something akin to a grin as she tucked her finger into one of my belt loops, tugging my body back, flush against her. Involuntarily I ground my burgeoning erection into her, making her bite down on that luscious, full lower lip as she barely managed to suppress a moan. She responded, her tone oozing sex, "I know exactly what you mean." She did? Could she possibly understand my plight? Why couldn't I hear her goddamned thoughts?

I desperately wanted to fuck her again but not there, the wall would probably collapse on top of us if we went for a second round. Finally, feeling a little proud of myself, I grinned. I had lost my virginity. I had taken Bella's. She had liked it. We would do it again! Her tongue, her teeth, those little hands, that quivering pussy, they were mine. I narrowly escaped hollering my triumph into the night, that really would have been awkward.

Strewn at our feet were a collection of shopping bags, likely from Bella's day in town. And there most definitely was one from the lingerie shop that Alice was always raving about. I stared down at it, willing my eyes to see through the paper and tissue. Bella watched me with a smirk, beginning to collect her things while quickly removing the last remnants of her red stockings, casting them aside. With her back turned I silently picked them up, furtively hiding them in my pocket for a keepsake. I didn't know if she saw but she continued to grin so I cleared my throat, just for something to do, to break the silence and then nervously asked, "Would you like a ride home?" She shyly nodded in agreement, nibbling at her lip, batting her fucking eyelashes.

The drive was quiet, the spell of our dirty little alley broken. Beside me Bella sat picking at the hem of her dress and I took the time to blatantly observe her, eyes soaking in every detail, enraptured. She had nervous habits: chewing her bottom lip, twisting her hair around her fingers. They were like vestiges of her humanity, habits she had been unable to break, even after all those years, and though she glared when she caught me studying her I found that side of her wholly adorable and completely endearing. Eventually, taking my eyes off of her I flipped the stereo on and set the music to an acceptable, polite, background level, hoping to encourage conversation.

Bella suddenly looked up, smiled, and caught my gaze, "Clair de Lune?" she asked.

She was a fan of the classics? Oh, my sweet darling. I would never let you go. "You know Debussy?" I could think of nothing but tongue fucking her, making her call out my name in time with the music.

"Not well. My mother used to play a lot of classical around the house. I only remember my favorites."

"It's one of my favorites, too." She relaxed as we drove on. I stared out at the road considering her. Bella was a treasure, a very fuckable one, I thought as I caught another glimpse of her pale, succulent thighs. Almost against my will I was transported back to the alley, to the moments before I had her against the wall and thought of the man, of Lonny, and rushed, "Would you really have killed that man tonight? Drank from him?"

"Probably," she lifted one shoulder, considering, "if you hadn't come along." She was unconcerned by my question, answering honestly. Off my troubled look she added, "I'm not a saint, Edward. I've made mistakes. And if you haven't noticed, I have a really bad temper." At that she laughed lightly, reaching over to squeeze my thigh, innocent but sultry, for all appearances she was truly the young school girl she posed as at in that moment. Bella was my Lolita. I was in huge fucking trouble. I smiled wolfishly at the thought.

And then, all to quickly, we were parked in front of her house, and Bella was gathering her things.

"What are you thinking?" I nearly whined when she made no move to get out of the car, only watching me with hooded eyes, a smirk toying at the corners of her mouth.

"Why don't you pick me up for school on Monday? We can talk more then," she emphasized the word 'talk' with a wink as her fingers stroked my length briefly. I clearly understood that she was in fact implying that we would be doing something else entirely. It seemed we had our first inside joke of sorts. It warmed me impossibly to have someone to share things with but I began to doubt whether my cock would ever be flaccid again. I would spend the rest of eternity trying to smuggle a rigid pole in my pants until Bella saw fit to relieve me of my burden.

My mouth hung slack as I stared at her tits, thought of her ass but I was dragged forcibly back from my revelry by the unmistakable sound of the car door opening. And as Bella climbed out I was given a great view of said bitable backside before she turned and winked at me, slamming the door closed.

"Shouldn't I?" I motioned toward the door, miming walking her up the path. It seemed the honorable thing to do considering I had just fucked her, traded virginities with her. Wouldn't it only be proper to at least play at the gentleman afterward?

Tugging at a long strand of mahogany hair Bella tilted her head to the side, grinning but replied in the negative. "I don't think my brother is quite ready for that." But she did come around to my window, leaning in to kiss me. It was hot and hard, her fingers gliding back over my scalp as she pulled roughly at my rumpled locks before moaning breathlessly into my mouth, the sound going straight to my groin. "Thanks," she whispered, dropping one more peck on my lips, then another on my cheek, before disappearing up the path and through her front door.

I glanced down at my straining erection, it called out to her, begging for Bella to return, to relieve it, to sit down on top of me and ride me in the car, right under her brother's nose. But I drove away. I could come back later, or tomorrow, and I would see her Monday. And as long as I continued to get my way, I would see her always, every day, forever. And each and every one of those days, I would fuck her in every way imaginable. The smirk never fell from my face, not even as I walked through the Cullen house, every member of my family eyeing me as I made my way to my room to get myself off, Bella's red lace tights clutched to my face as my hand worked my cock vigorously.

A/N - Thank you again for reading! Thank you for waiting! Reviews make me happy!

Next chapter? Yeah. It's going to happen. Hope you'll read it!

Disclaimer - I do not own Twilight. Only this little alternate universe is mine.


	10. One Of A Kind

A/N - It had been a year since I updated this story but it was always at the back of my mind. Once I finally had some time I decided to come back to it. The entire thing is outlined, I do know the ending and I would like to complete this piece. So if you any readers are still out there, still interested, please enjoy the chapter. I'm feeling a little rusty but the next chapter is already done and will be posted soon. Thank you for your patience. This chapter borrows minutely from the book Twilight.

**Chapter 10 - One Of A Kind**

As I stepped from Edward's car I could feel wetness, his wetness, streaming down my thighs. The feeling of it was delicious. I wanted to say I ached all over but I didn't. I felt very much as I always did, only satisfied. He met a craving that had been so repressed within me that I had never bothered to feel it until he came around. Oh, god, and I was craving it again. I already wanted him and he was still in his car, watching me walk, only ten paces back. I could yank open the door, climb into his seat, straddle his lap, and ride him right there. But Charlie was in the house attempting to wait up for me.

Edward, the consummate gentleman, had offered to walk me to the door, to carrying my shopping bags. I had declined. My brother was not ready to be presented with that visual and probably would not be for some time. A bullet wouldn't hurt Edward but it might demoralize Charlie, or label him as fucking crazy if any of the neighbors saw.

I took two seconds, straightened out my hair the best I could, smoothed my dress, fingered the mark left by that ridiculously sexy boy, waved to him, and entered the house.

"I'm home, Charlie!" He was snoring in his chair in front of the television but snorted himself awake, shuffling, making to stand. "Don't get up," I called. "I'm going upstairs. You were right though," I added. "A trip to Port Angeles was just what I needed."

"Good, good," he grunted in return, already half asleep again. "Night, Bella."

I practically skipped up the stairs, dumping my belongs on the bed, and stripping down to bare skin. I stared at myself. Aside from the gnarly mark left by Edward my youthful, deflowered body looked exactly the same as it had before. Of course it did, I thought. It wasn't like I was going to get knocked up with a dead womb full of dead seed. I wasn't glowing. And I didn't look any older or more mature. I did however feel incredibly sexy and that was something new.

I wondered idly if Edward was observing me from his place in the woods. I hoped that he was. I stretched and walked around taunting my possible observer, blew a kiss in that general direction and heard low but distinct laughter. "Tease," he muttered but I could hear the smirk in his words.

I showered, reluctant to wash away the remains of our evening but desperate to get the grime and dust out my hair. Who would have thought that two vampires could nearly bring down a building, just having sex? It was amazing. And I couldn't stop thinking about the sex as I scrubbed myself clean; strawberry shampoo permeating the steam that clouded the small room, enveloping me.

But I had done it. With Edward Cullen. And it had been brutal, aggressive, and magnificent.

Slipped into a soft cotton nightgown, white with pink flowers embroidered on it, I knew it looked more like something a woman my actual age would wear rather than a young girl but I liked it. It was comfortable and felt delectable against my bare, overly sensitized flesh. And finally, I climbed onto the bed, curled up with a battered copy of Austen's complete works and settled in for a night of reading. If only I could have gotten my mind to cooperate.

All I could think of was Edward. His lips, his hands, his cock. I loved the way he spoke, the things he said. At times he sounded like a man out of time and then he would grind into me and whisper harsh, dirty, desperate words in my ear. Both made me melt.

I wanted to be with him. I wanted him there beside me. But I barely knew him, it seemed impossible to fall in love with someone in so little a period of time. Or was that just how it happened with our kind? Bam, you were in love, for all eternity.

Until death do us part was an incredibly serious commitment when you knew you were going to live forever. I sighed, pulled my knees to my chest, and set my book aside. About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward had taken my virginity and I had given it to him willingly. Second, there was a part of him - and I didn't know how potent that part might be - that liked to punish me, hurt me, as much as it did him. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love.

When Saturday morning dawned I knew it would be a clear, beautiful, sunny day. I smelled it on the air. And as such I would be trapped inside, away from Edward and he from me. I thought about stepping out, running to his house, throwing myself into his arms, but knew that Charlie would worry about my being out in the light. I could be seen and how would we explain my condition, as my brother liked to call it, to our neighbors. I did after all sparkle like diamonds and that was highly unusual. So with a sigh I dressed in a pair of cream cashmere drawstring pants and a plain navy blue v-neck tee before venturing downstairs. I made breakfast, bacon and eggs with toast, and eventually got my brother settled in his chair to watch the game. Whatever game it might be. Then I gathered together the laundry and began my chores around the house.

I was finished far too quickly, which left me feeling both bored and annoyed, itching to get out and do something. Instead I opted for yoga. My center was very clearly off, either due to the wild fuck or the near murder, but I needed to sort myself out. Being amped up, as a vampire living with a human and among yet more humans, was a recipe for disaster. My body however, traitorously argued that all I needed was release and that I knew exactly where I could find it.

By mid-afternoon I heard my brother slowly climbing the stairs, changing, and getting ready for work. He stopped in my room, rapping his knuckles on the doorframe. "Any plans for the evening?"

I glanced at him wryly. "Charlie, I never have plans."

His mustache twitched, he coughed, and then, clearly uncomfortable, he grumbled, "Well, that Cullen boy has been hanging about. So…" he trailed off, looking anywhere but at me.

"Edward?"

"I caught him lingering in the bushes earlier," he replied, cocking a suspicious brow.

"You did?" How could I have missed him and Charlie have noticed?

Clearing his throat he said, "Yes, well, tell him that not many things sparkle in the woods around here. You know," he gestured, "other than vampires."

I laughed, "No wonder you're the sheriff." And he actually blushed. "But no, I'm not going out with Edward. We aren't, like," I paused, "dating or anything." And I was impressed by how much I sounded like one of my contemporaries from school.

Another lift to the mustache, that time accompanied by a grin. "Do vampires date? Where exactly would you go for the evening?" He paused for a beat and I knew he had to be going somewhere with his comment, sighed and waited. "The blood bank?" And he chuckled, barely able to control his mirth.

"Har. Thanks a lot for the support, big brother."

"Anytime," he told me. "But in all seriousness, Bella, that one seems unbalanced to me. I don't want him hiding out there anymore. I keep finding uprooted bushes and tramped flowers. So, you just make sure he understands that, alright?" He turned to leave but stopped, "When you see him next. At school, because that's the only place you see him, Bella. You get what I'm saying here?"

"I'm a grown woman, Charlie."

"Yeah," he ruminated, "you keep telling me. But you're still attracting perverts."

"Charlie!" I exploded. But he was gone, the cruiser pulling out of the drive and down the street in a matter of minutes.

I sat there, ruminating on what my brother had said. He had banned a boy from the house, like my father, or my genuine uncle. Edward, not allowed? Did he think I would really listen or was he making a point? Because, rather like a teenager, it only made me want the boy in question more.

And like I had conjured him with my thoughts, he was there, climbing through the window, whistling, "I thought he would never leave," and reaching to pull me into him.

For a prolonged moment I let him just hold me, allowed myself to fold into his embrace, to feel fragile in another creature's arms for a change. When I drew back I eyed him, "Have you really been creeping along the line of our property, spying?"

"What?" he laughed but to my ears it sounded forced.

"I'm sure you heard him," I said. "He saw you. Glittering. In our yard." Edward stared from me and back to the window. "I think you're freaking him out."

"Well," he started, dragging me to the bed and then thinking better of it and laying me on the floor, "why don't we start with you showing me your tits and I'll see if they're still worth getting labeled a Peeping Tom over."

Laughing, I shoved at his granite-like shoulder, barely moving him, and lifting my camisole over my head. "So, what do you think?"

Edward grinned, showing his perfect teeth, shining and fierce. Wet seeped into my pants and I suddenly wished I hadn't worn the scrap of lace panties I had on. I was certainly going to ruin them. Seventy dollars would be flushed down the drain, or lost to Edward's little collection. He had thought he was covert stealing my tights from the alley but I had seen him shove them in his pocket. It was kind of exciting, his obsession. It made me hot, made me want him even more.

The man in question was humming, lips pressed again my left nipple and as he spoke his tongue darted out occasionally to swipe at the aroused bud. "I'm not sure," he murmured in his best doctor voice, "I believe we are going to need to do a further, more in depth examination here.

"You really have the kindest bedside manner," I sighed and his laughter rumbled through my chest.

That night we hunted together and he walked me to the door. And it kind of was like a date, with five dead deer, and a crater in the earth left behind after Edward drilled me into the ground. Repeatedly. With his cock.

"You're hair's a mess," he whispered against my ear as I reached for our hidden key. Charlie was still at the station. But I wasn't inviting Edward in. My brother felt uneasy with him in the house and knowing that he would return home within the hour I wanted to respect that wish. Sort of.

"Goodnight," I said, placing a lingering kiss on his lips, stepping through the door and closing it in his face. I turned on a couple of lights for Charlie and went immediately to my room. Edward was perched on the bed.

"Hello," he grinned. I smiled in return, giggled as I closed the door behind me. My brain was digressing the more time we spent together.

"I wasn't joking," I told him finally, tugging him up. "You need to go home now. Charlie will be here soon and I don't want to upset him."

"Fine, fine," Edward muttered, kissing me again, and then again, grasping, clutching my body against his own and groaning when he finally pulled away. "Goodnight, sweet Isabella."

He was back the following morning, another blessed or cursed with uncommon sunlight, swinging through the window and explaining by way of a greeting, "The sheriff has left the building."

"You really are too lame to be a modern teenager," I teased and he squawked in protest, dragging me down beside him, and resting my head on his shoulder.

We spent that day almost exactly as we had spent the one before it. That was, until the cruiser unexpectedly swerved down the street catching both of our ears. "Charlie!" I squeaked, pointing at the window but my companion merely smiled and shook his head. "Edward," I seethed, "go!"

"You're going to have to deal with this sometime or another."

I wanted to throttle him but he didn't need oxygen to survive so it would have been a waste of precious time. The car door slammed as I pushed and shoved him toward the only exit. Why did he want to get caught? So my brother could have a heart attack and drop dead of shame or anger or both?

"You know, you are almost fifty, Bella."

I gasped, spun on him, "Did you seriously just call me old, at a time like this?"

"Whoa," he paused, hands in the air, "I'm just saying that you're too old, but not old, of course not, and you are still ravishingly gorgeous…"

"Spit it out, Cullen." My gaze was narrowed as I crouched into an attack stance.

For a brief moment he stood frozen in horror then nodded once, shut his trap, and dove for the wardrobe, where he rather adorably hid from my middle aged, human brother. So, I forgave him.

"You're home early," I called down the stairs the moment Charlie entered and hung up his gun.

"Bella, can I see you down here for a moment." And that quickly I was opposite him, staring into his concerned face, and worrying my lower lip. Had I been discovered? Had Lonny reported me? Filed charges or something? The guy had tried to rape me.

"What is it?" I so rarely felt panic that it was a surprise to realized what the emotion clawing its' way through my body actually was.

"I heard something today. Something disturbing." Oh lord, Edward and I had been spotted doing god knows what. How disgraceful and the whole damned town would know by nightfall. School would be an exercise in torture, children whispering, pointing. We would have to leave the state. And it struck me how rapidly I had switched to the idea of we, Edward and I as a team, together. I smiled and then Charlie added, "It's about the Newton boy." And that stopped me short.

"Wait, what? Mike Newton?"

"So, you do know him?"

"Charlie, I go to school with less than four-hundred kids. I memorized War and Peace in one read." He squinted in thought as his lips pursed. "It's a really long book. Trust me, okay? And so, yes, I know him, I know everyone at Forks High School."

"Well, I was in Newton's Hardware earlier. They had some hikers go missing," he seemed confused, "maybe. They're not sure if maybe they just forgot to return their snowshoes. But that's not the point." I nodded, wishing he would hurry up, I could barely stand the suspense. "Mike's mother happened to mention that her son had been talking about you," he blinked but I stayed mute, "a lot."

"Okay," I replied.

"He wants to ask you to some dance," Charlie added gruffly and when I still said nothing his shoulders drooped. "The boy likes you, Bella. And he seems, according to his mother, to think that you return the feelings."

Edward was snapping hangers in the closet. How was he jealous of silly, little Newton? And what the hell was he doing to the clothing that had formerly been on those hangers?

"Oh?"

"Have you done anything to encourage him?"

"I haven't torn his throat out," I answered with a shrug and heard Edward's thankful, quiet laughter drift down from the upper floor.

"But you haven't done anything to give this boy hope?"

"Absolutely not. Newton is a little worm. And my friend Jessica likes him anyway." Charlie looked confused, unsure what that meant. "Girl code," I informed him.

"Right," he nodded, "okay. Well, that was all I wanted to check on."

"You rushed home for that?"

"To see if my baby sister, who is actually nearer to fifty than forty, who happens to be a modestly reformed, blood drinking vampire was flirting with or leading on a sixteen year old boy? Yes."

My eyes widened as I thought about it. "Oh god, when you put it like that I almost feel like I have a gag reflex again." Disgusting.

But what the fuck was with people bringing up my age? I did not like it. Never mention age or weight when you're talking to or about a woman. How was that still unknown to men?

And both Edward and Charlie were older than me! I wanted to stamp my foot but remained still. I would likely go right through the subfloor and we would have a skylight in the basement.

"Mmm, okay. Good," Charlie glanced around awkwardly, eyeing the television in the other room.

"Since you're home and I'm not an undead, child stalker are you going to try and catch some of the game? Want me to grab you a beer?" I offered.

"A beer? Yeah," and he moved toward the recliner but stopped and turned abruptly. "But about this dance," it was my turn to look confused. "I'm just wondering if you're going."

"No. I'm not."

"No one asked you?" He was surprised but my brother had always been puzzled by my stunning lack of boyfriends and popularity. Not that he would approve of me going with a human, or a vampire for that matter, so I don't know who he thought I would attend with.

"Not really a dancer, Charlie," I replied, rapidly striding up the stairs, and looking at him pointedly. "Two left feet." He nodded once more and disappeared. His beer was already waiting for him.

As I closed my door the wardrobe spilled open revealing a rather happy Edward, draped in my clothing, another pair of panties tucked into his pocket. I opted not to comment on his predilection for stealing my undergarments.

"You could go to the dance with me," he suggested, chin resting on my shoulder as he nuzzled my neck.

"Are you asking?"

"Yes, ma'am. Would you, Bella Swan, like to accompany me to the school dance?"

I thought about it for a moment and responded honestly, "No." Edward pouted beautifully, "But I will spend the evening with you," a pause, "in other pursuits." He smirked lecherously. "I didn't mean I was going to fuck you," I added, pushing him back against the wall and crowding his space, cupping his cock, and running my tongue along his lower lip, "but you could take me out. To a movie or something, or down to Seattle, whatever you like."

"But," he thrust against my palm.

"We'll just have to see if you play your cards right," I smiled, diving through the bedroom window, immediately on the scent of a herd of deer. Edward hot on my heels, and chuckling deeply as he reached out to pinch my ass. I was still too fast for him.

A/N - Reviews are wonderful if anyone is still out there to read this piece. It was completed sans beta so I apologize for any errors. Disclaimer - Twilight does not belong to me only this idea does.


	11. Every You Every Me

A/N - Sadly most of this chapter has sat on my laptop for over a year. It was not forgotten but had been pushed aside for other things. I polished it up some and thought I would post. If anyone is still reading this, thank you. This chapter borrows some from Twilight (book).

I was standing by my window when I heard the Volvo, it was at least two blocks away. It was unusually foggy and blessedly sunshine free that morning. Stepping back, not wanting to get caught watching, waiting, I glanced over my reflection in the mirror. Purple silk tunic, dark washed skin tight jeans, and brand new dark brown leather boots. They looked equestrian; they had been ridiculously expensive, and I was intending to wear them out into the icy morning with no thought to their durability against the rain gently hitting the pavement. Lastly I tied on the Parisian cameo that I had been carrying with me since my first trip to the continent and grabbed up my shoulder bag.

Charlie was already gone so I had little to worry over when I heard a gentle rapping on the front door. Edward. I flung open the entryway and jumped into his arms. He gave me a rakish grin, holding me close, and inhaling deeply. "I'll never be able to get enough of your smell," he told me and I all but rolled my eyes.

"And that is why sometimes you sound like a stalker."

A smirk was his only reply, letting my comment roll off of him like water. "Your chariot awaits, my lady." Picking up a thick, cabled, camel colored cardigan I allowed him to lead me out of the house and toward his car.

Edward wore no jacket, continually flaunting his other-worldliness, just a light gray knit V-neck shirt with long sleeves. The fabric clung to his perfectly muscled chest. Venom flooded my mouth, bringing me near to drooling. I knew what that body looked like underneath; the flat beautiful plans of his pale chest. The V that dipped obscenely low and disappeared into his jeans.

I crossed my legs, uncomfortable. My companion's nostrils flared as he turned to look at me, wolfishly, with dark fathomless eyes. "Oh, my," he sighed pleasurably from deep within.

"Edward," I whined a little pathetically. I don't know what I was asking for exactly. For him to hurry up and get to school? To fuck me, right then and there, in his car, midway between my house and our destination? To skip school all together and spend the day naked, wrapped up in one another, letting the cold rain sluice over our flesh?

He took matters into his own hands, pulling the car to the side of the road and cutting the engine. Without a word he was on me, like a wild cat on it's dinner. His tongue was at my throat, lathing the mark he had left behind only days before, which had not faded in the slightest. I was starting to believe that Edward had permanently marked me but that was a conversation for another day and time.

"I've missed you," he whispered against my cool skin.

I groaned. It was all that I could manage so lost in the sensation of him. I wanted to tell him that I had missed him too, that we were crazy because we had only been apart a few hours, but the words weren't there. So I gasped instead, my hand inching up Edward's denim clad leg, aching to wrench his zipper down and expose his near permanent erection. It was mine, only mine. And I wanted it.

His hands were under my blouse, palms skimming the smooth, milky flesh of my stomach, fingers slipping under the edge of my lace bra. I had worn it for him. Black lace with ribbons and pearls, and matching panties. But these I intended to go home with. Otherwise I would soon be out of underwear, which was perhaps Edward's entire goal.

A car rushed past us splashing rain water against the windows and breaking me out of my sex induced stupor. "Oh, god," I moaned, my hand stilling, Edward's dick still clutched in it's grip.

"What?" His gaze flashed around the vehicle, a low growl escaping his throat, as he looked for whatever or whomever had made me stop.

"School, Edward," I nodded to myself. "We need to get to school."

"But," he wedeled, eyes pleading as he stared down at his cock, which glared right back.

"We can't show up late. With sex hair!" I exclaimed. "Everyone will talk. And the talk will get back to Charlie." Edward harrumphed, frowned, and slammed his head against the steering wheel almost doing serious damage. "And breaking your car is not going to improve the situation," I teased, biting my lip.

He glanced up at me. I pouted, batting my lashes. Pointing at my face he shook his head, "That is not helping." I licked my lips, pouting even more exaggeratedly. "If you don't stop that right now I'm going to put your lips to work. On my cock." But he was pulling away from the curb and back out into traffic. What there was of it.

Turning into the parking lot he suggested, "Want to check into homeroom then meet to fuck during first period?" Moisture pooled in my abdomen before seeping down into my already soaked panties. God, I wanted to. When I did not respond immediately Edward moved in, kissing my neck, his mark, running his tongue down the column of my throat. I moaned embarrassingly loud. It had not even been twelve hours since we had screwed last. How could I be so pathetically needy? Would it always be that way? Would we ever have time for anything else?

Finally, pushing the magnificent sex god groping me back an inch or two, I reached for the door handle and exited the car in one fluid motion. Edward was beside me in an instant. I looked left then right, hoping no one had seen him move at such an inhuman speed. "I have a test in first period," I commented, kissing him on the mouth and lingering for a moment longer than was strictly necessary in public. He tasted like heaven. For the first time I found myself wondering, "Where is the rest of your family?"

"They took Rosalie's car." He shrugged, looking over at glossy red convertible with the top up. "Ostentatious, isn't it?"

"Fuck," I hissed. "Everyone has a car but me. I didn't even think about that fact when I told everyone that I was fifteen. I wont legally be allowed to drive in Forks until September and that will be with an adult."

"You don't need to drive," he grinned. "You have me. I'll drive you." He was so possessive, I thought, nestling into the crook of his arm. I loved when he got demanding. Got rough. That was totally unexpected. His monster, as he called it, spoke to mine.

Edward draped a casual arm over my shoulders, keeping me against him, showing the world that I was his. Only his. Always. As if the mark wouldn't do it but then again I was sure that it would be nothing but a scar to the children we attended school with. Something for Jessica to gossip to her friends about. Telling people that I'm not so perfect, that I have a nasty thing on my shoulder, probably from a horrible Russian accident. For the time being though my shirt covered it.

Alice Cullen jumped up and down excitedly when she saw us approaching the covered alcove where their family crowded together out of the rain. Rosalie glared, unsurprisingly. She had been cold to me from the start while the others had been interested, welcoming, comforting. But I shrugged it off. I did not need her to like me. I had never needed anyone and while that was changing, I would be happy if I only had Edward. The others, for at least the time being, were still expendable.

Jessica stood, gaping, only ten feet away, her eyes about to pop out of her skull. I lifted my brows, smiled shyly, and tried to look embarrassed. She shot me a meaningful look in return, called, "Hey Bella!" waved and then added, "See you in Trig!"

"What are you going to tell her?"

"Huh," I asked, glancing up into Edward's beautiful butterscotch eyes.

"She wants to know if we are secretly dating. And she wants to know how you feel about me."

"Yikes," I grimaced.

"What are you going to say?" he grinned wickedly.

I reached up on tiptoes, my lips at Edward's ear, and breathed, "Maybe I'll tell her what an amazing fuck you are." Four identical pairs of golden eyes shot in our direction. I giggled coquettishly.

Edward puffed himself up, turning to stare down his siblings. "As if Alice had not already told you." His sister had the decency to smile guiltily.

Still laughing, I slipped away from the sexy vampire beside me, my hand brushing against bulge in his pants, waved to the group, and called quietly enough to only be heard by one of our kind, "See you at lunch, Romeo." The pained expression on his face was priceless though I imagined I would pay for it, in the most delicious of ways, later. "Try not to stroke out before then." Emmett laughed so hard he snorted, slapping one hand on his thigh. Edward grumbled maliciously.

I walked into class at something of a hurried pace to the humans around me. Taking my seat I slouched accordingly and stared up at the ceiling, fantasizing about Edward. About what I would do to him. What he would do to me. And groaned internally, wishing that I had not been so righteous when were parked in the car on the side of the road that morning.

"Morning, Bella," Mike said from the seat next to me, shattering the moment and bringing me back down to earth and boring reality. He was smiling at me. Had he not seen me with Edward, not heard? Well, with the rumor mill in Forks, it was clearly going to be around the school in a matter of a day that Edward I were a thing, a couple, whatever they wanted to call it. I wasn't even sure myself what to call it. Was he my mate? It was too soon to say that. Did I want him to be? Absolutely. I wanted to talk to him, hold him, fuck him everyday for the rest of eternity. And that was something I had absolutely no idea how to say out loud.

In that moment I was more thankful than I had ever been that Edward could not read my thoughts.

Thinking back to what Charlie had said, that Newton was interested in me, that he thought I returned his interest, I merely sighed and glanced toward the front of the room, saying "Mike," in a curt, formal manner. I was not a cradle robber and would not be accused of being one. Then Mr. Mason called the class to order, asking us to turn in our papers.

English and government dragged. All I could think of was sex. I was becoming an addict. From zero to sixty in a matter of seconds. Was that normal for a human or a vampire? I had lived my entire life, up until that point, entirely sexless and I had been just fine, but the moment I had discovered Edward's interest in me, in my body, in being with me, I had been unable to think of anything else. I felt like an actual teenager; hormones raging, on a sexual rampage.

I had to force myself to work on my exam at a human pace, which was incredibly difficult. It only lead to more daydreaming and planning. Where did teens meet for a tryst? The woods maybe, but knowing Edward and I, we would come back to school filthy, our clothes ruined, so I ruled that option out. Next I thought of the janitor's closet or perhaps the bathroom but neither of those would work either. The first and only time that we had fucked in or near a structure we almost brought it down on top of us. And I certainly could not afford that happening at the school. That only left the Volvo. It appeared sturdy enough to support us. And didn't people have sex in the backseats of cars all the time? There wouldn't be a lot of space but vampires were limber, adaptive. And it had felt pretty fucking good in there earlier in the day.

Glancing up at the clock I saw that there were only twenty minutes left in class, which I deemed acceptable, so I finished my test, and turned it in. "Thank you, Bella," Mr. Mason all but stammered, not looking me in the eye. Damn Edward! Damn the whole Cullen family. They were blowing my cover, slowly but surely, with their inhuman behavior, inhuman appearances. Their lie reflected my own. I vowed to be extra nice, chatty and personable, over the next few days to remind my fellows just how much like them I really was.

Once back at my seat I neatly stacked my books and pulled a sheaf of notebook paper out, quickly writing a note for Edward, informing him of where to meet me. And smirked to myself imagining all of the creative ways I could get it to him.

The fog had almost dissipated by the end of our second hour at school but the day remained dark, the clouds hanging low, and threatening more rain. I smiled up at the sky. It was my favorite kind of day.

Edward was easy to spot, his gorgeous copper hair catching the light as he leaned casually against his locker. Though I knew he was anything but collected. Everything about him was dark, passionate, serious. I saw it in his face no matter how well he masked it for the youths surrounding us. I skipped to the left, slipping behind a group of football players and phasing out of sight, disappearing completely from view, only to appear again directly in front of my own personal deviant sex god.

I was a flash, a blur, rushing him at full speed, all but undetectable, before I knocked him lightly into the lockers behind. He was amused, his eyes sparkling with pleasure as he grinned, full of himself.

"Minx," he said for my ears only.

I smiled, gently running the tip of my nose along his chiseled jawline, before leaning in for a savage kiss. I snaked my hand into his front pocket, gave his dick a meaningful squeeze, depositing my note, and vanished almost as unexpectedly as I had arrived. Reappearing down the hall, looking back and seeing him watching me, his visage was one of pure sex.

Jessica was already there I walked into Trig and I knew that Edward had been right; she was nearly bouncing out of her seat in excitement. She and I had never been that close. Jessica pretended for pretenses; Mike liked me, her friends saw me as their route to popularity. Edward had mentioned that she despised me, was jealous of me. But I didn't care for her much either. In fact, if I were to ever turn, start culling the student body, feeding from them like cattle, Jessica would be the first to go. Unfortunately that did not serve my purpose. I was just a girl, in high school, who needed friends like any other girl in order to appear normal, as human as possible. And regular girls, teenagers, hated their friends all the time didn't they? I don't know what the term was for that when I was first in school but currently it was something like 'frienemies'. Slang sometimes blew my mind.

"Tell me everything!" she commanded before I was even able to sit down. I could still taste Edward on my lips. I wanted to feel him between my thighs.

"What do you want to know?" I hedged, knowing that he would be listening in on our conversation, eavesdropping, like a peeping tom.

"Well, you were sick for like, days. And now you're back and you're all with Edward Cullen! Have you two been secretly dating? I mean, god, why would anyone keep that a secret." She rambled on, I sat patiently, my gaze impassive. "Did you know him before they moved here?"

Finally I felt forced to make some comment. I knew whatever I said Edward would know and by the end of the day so would the entire student body. "No," I tried to smile a little smile, keeping my teeth hidden behind my lips, "we only met on his first day." That was a half truth but what was I going to say? Well he's been tracking me, a vampire word for stalking, but I didn't know, I had never met him.

Her lips puckered in disappointment. What a scoop that would have been. "But he picked you up for school today?" I shrugged, twirling a piece of my hair, hoping to come across as shy or nervous when really I was completely focused on our coming rendezvous. "So, are you two going out?"

Did that mean going steady? Being exclusive? Or just dating, as in going out together? Damn my middle-aged woman handicap! It was like the term 'hooking up', what was that? Did it mean sex or kissing? I had heard it used in both manners; I don't believe the kids even knew that one.

"Well," I began, shifting in my seat; Jessica leaned forward eager to hear what I had to say. I knew she had been interested in Edward, not that he would have touched her with a dirty ten foot pole, but I was sure she still hoped that she had a chance. "We hang out a lot. Does that count as going out?" It was genuine, honest. Minus the crazy amount of time we spend fucking in the woods behind my house. Or groping in my room. Or in his car.

"Has he kissed you?"

If I could have, I would have blushed scarlet. Apparently screwing like mad had not robbed me of my senses of embarrassment or decorum. Jessica stared intently, examining my expression for clues, but I was like a marble statue under her scrutiny. Eventually, after putting on something of a show, I lowered my voice and said, "Yes. We've kissed."

"Wow," she sighed. "He is so unbelievably gorgeous." And Jessica really had no idea how much so.

"There's a lot more to him than that," I countered.

"Really? Like what?"

"He's even more unbelievable behind the face. Being with him is amazing and whenever he has to leave I miss him, just talking to him, his scent, the way he musses his hair, the way he laughs. You know?" I sighed a little, shrugged for her benefit, though my words were entirely for someone else, and continued. "We have so much in common." I felt myself grinning, something natural and unstoppable. I tried to reign myself in as much as I could, so as not to frighten my companion, but she shuddered and moved back in her seat a few inches anyway.

"So you like him then?"

"Yes," I replied.

"I mean, do you really like him, like him?"

"Yes," I said again, wondering what Jessica's face would look like if I told her that Edward fucked like an animal, a machine. That I couldn't get enough of him or his cock. That I intended to fuck him during lunch. That I wanted to ride him until I came, tear at his throat and make him mine as he had made me his. If I had been human I would have drooled on the desk, as it was, I swallowed a mouthful of venom and crossed my legs, trying to restrain myself. That was becoming a habit.

Obnoxiously she pressed, "How much do you like him?" Had Edward paid her? Was she serious?

"Too much," I whispered, too harshly. It was true though I wasn't exactly sure how or what I truly meant. I loved Edward. I would do anything for him. And it had all happened so suddenly, so life-changingly fast, and I was terrified.

Then, thankfully, Mr. Varner called on Jessica for an answer and she did not get another chance to speak with me through out the class period.

Latin was equally torturous. I sat waiting, counting the moments until I could be alone with Edward and when the bell rang for lunch I jumped out of my seat, shoved my books roughly into my bag, and bolted from the room before anyone else had had time to move an inch.

I was in the Volvo when he arrived, perched on the passengers seat, checking how adjustable the seats were, how far they went back. The door flew open, metal straining as it was nearly wrenched from the body of the car. "How did you?" Edward practically stammered, looking at me wide eyed. I held up his car keys, letting them dangle from my finger. I had stolen them at his locker, apparently he never knew. Theft was a little something that I had picked up on the streets when I lived alone, out in the world, and it still served a purpose.

Edward glowered, getting in and putting his hand out. I returned what was rightfully his, smirking. "I was listening," he paused, "to you and Jessica."

"Were you?" I murmured, feigning surprise, as I moved across the center console and dropped onto his lap, my knees on either side of his thighs, my lips immediately finding their target. His dead pulse point. That was where I would make my mark. I licked my lips in anticipation.

"Do you truly believe that you care for me too much?" he murmured, his face serious, wounded. However his hands were moving over my body; one was coiled in my hair, tugging, massaging, while the other caressed my back, unhooking my bra without a second thought. I continued to suck on his lovely marble-like flesh while reaching between our bodies to find the button at the top of his jeans. "Are you going to answer the question?"

I pulled back, my face inches from his, my lips parting as if for a kiss. I looked down, staring at my hands, his open fly. I swallowed, sucking in a breath I did not need, and said, "Yes."

"Yes, you are going to answer, or yes, you really think that?" He was angry I realized. His hands had stilled briefly then shifted aggressively, gripping me around the ribcage, tight and possessive. He made it clear that he would not allow me to move until we had talked. His fingertips dug into my flesh and I should have been frightened. I guess I was, a little, but mostly I was exhilarated. Desperate. Yearning.

"Yes, I really think that." I kept my eyes downcast.

"Why?"

I froze, my body as still as granite, Edward felt it and as well tensed, awaiting my words. If someone had looked into the Volvo then, and saw us, we would have appeared as nothing more then two intertwined statues. No breath, no movement, we did not blink, not a muscle twitched. Every nerve, in both of our body's, was pulled taught.

Until I said it. "I love you." There was no response. Edward remained just as he had been. I bit my lower lip, nervous. "Say something."

He didn't. He yanked me forward, our mouths, teeth clashing, lips colliding, both of us gasping for unneeded oxygen. Then I pulled his fly wide, releasing his throbbing erection from it's denim clad prison, and ran my hand along it's slick length. Edward thrust upward into my hand.

"I fucking love you to. Forever," he gasped in between tugs, "always. You're mine, Bella."

It was ridiculously hot. Until I glanced up and saw Bob Banner moving in our direction. He was looking from car to car, probably on some kind of teacher patrol, checking for lunchtime truants. "Shit," I sat up suddenly, banging my head on the roof of the car and denting the metal in the process.

My companion swung around, shoving his dick back in his jeans, he was quick about it. He had had a lot of practice. The pervert.

"Banner's coming," I informed him as he cocked an eyebrow and rolled his eyes at me. Of course he knew.

When the teacher was only a dozen paces away from us, from discovering us, Edward threw open the car door, grabbed me by the hand, and dragged me away toward the woods. We laughed, darting faster than any human could see, hiding among the pines, as Bob passed the car with nary a wayward glance.

I wanted to kiss Edward. To lick every inch of his body, to run my hands through his hair, yank, and make him growl. Make him take me there and then. But he was looking at me with such intensity that I merely rested my palm against his still chest. There was no heartbeat but I knew that his heart belonged to me as mine did to him.

"I meant it," he said after an impossibly long moment.

"I did to," I replied, as his hand found mine, intertwining our fingers. And that fast we were tearing at one another's clothes. My jeans dropped into the dirt and Edward's quickly joined. My sopping underwear were rolled down my legs but he left my tunic in place. I giggled, straddling him. "Oh, and don't think you're going anywhere with those panties." Edward looked abashed, guilty for a split second before his smooth mask fell back into place. "I know you've been stealing. Naughty," I hushed, my lips at his throat once more.

Riding Edward, there, in the forest, on the soft earth made up of a thousand years worth of pine needles, I felt more powerful than I had felt in my entire life, vampire or before. I was a goddess.

Edward loved me.

Up and down, up and down, I moved as he grasped my hips, driving himself further, deeper with each thrust. I grunted, howled, pleaded. Edward took one nipple into his mouth, biting down and making me call out to a god that I no longer believed in. He wanted to flip us; it was in the way he held me, the tension building in his arms, his bare legs, but I wasn't ready to be controlled. I needed to be the one in charge. I needed to mark Edward, once and for all. It was only fair.

So as his movements became more erratic, manic, I lowered my face into the crook of his neck, where it met his gloriously sculpted shoulder. I bared my teeth, shining in the pale light, and tore into the flesh there. It softened, parted, melted like butter in my mouth. Edward gasped, his body stilling for a fraction of a second before he resumed his relentless pace, making my thighs quiver with delight.

"Yes," he hissed. "Do it, Bella. Please."

I lapped at the blood welling up to the surface. It was ambrosia. A gift. The sweetest thing I had ever had on my tongue. Edward tasted even better than he smelled. I could not be satisfied; I ripped him open further, seeking more of that wonderful flowing sustenance. He called out, breathing hard, tugging at my hair, but not in order to disengage me, but because he was so enthralled in the moment. I knew it, the answer was in his blood. And then I came, hard. I released Edward, my head thrown back, breasts exposed by my crumpled shirt, as I felt the last sloppy thrusts that foretold my mates impending climax.

His ferocious yell reverberated around us as birds took flight from the trees above. I leaned back, hands on either side of Edward's legs. I didn't have a breath to catch but I wanted a moment, just to absorb everything.

"You're amazing," Edward said, also staring up at the gray sky.

"And you're mine," I grinned. He chuckled, grabbed me by the front of my shirt and held me to his chest.

"We're going to be late for Bio."

I groaned, "People will talk."

"Let them," he shrugged.

Casting around I came up with my jeans, the wrecked lace panties balled up in the leg, and sighed. "Why do I even bother wearing underwear with you around."

Edward's face lit up like a Christmas tree. "You should go without then."

"Commando. For easy access, huh?" He shrugged, smirking wolfishly. And I shoved his shoulder, knocking him back into a tree behind us. The force of Edward's body colliding with it make a terrible cracking noise. "Oops," I grimaced, contrite. He shrugged again, getting to his feet, and pulling me up with him.

After we were clothed and straightened out as much as could be expected, Edward took my hand and began a slow, human paced, walk back toward the school building and our shared science class.

"I won't be in school tomorrow."

"What?" My head swung around in an instant. "Where are you going?"

"Well, Alice has predicted that tomorrow will be sunny."

"And she sees the future," he nodded. "And she is always right?"

"Not always," he admitted, "but when it comes to the weather she is fairly spot on. Well, the weather and the stock market. But let's keep that between us." I raised a perfectly arched brow but said nothing. "And to answer your question, Emmett and I are going to Goat Rock Wilderness Preserve, just south of Rainier." I knew it, I had hunted there from time to time. It was filled with the wild predatory animals that tasted so much more like humans than the deer and elk so common around Forks.

"What are you hunting?" I asked, slightly envious. It was obviously a boy's thing. Edward would have invited me if I had been allowed to tag along. And clearly Rosalie was staying in town.

"Bears. Grizzly is Emmett's favorite." His voice was off-hand as I nestled closer to him.

"What's your favorite?" I had never asked, he had never mentioned. Mine was the Siberian Tiger, though I had not killed one for more than a decade. They were endangered and far too beautiful, too pure, to kill one more than necessary. I could wait. I had all the time in the world for their population to multiply.

Edward raised his eyebrows, looking quite proud of himself, and said, "Mountain lion."

"Isn't it still a little early in the season? Will bears even be out of hibernation?"

"A couple," he lifted one shoulder, smiled at me. "It's more about being out there than the number of animals we feed from."

"Ah," I murmured. "But you'll be back Wednesday?" Could I go a whole day without my Edward fix? He was like a drug and I was an addict. But, I reminded myself, the thing between us had only been going on for four days. How could it have been so little time? I was incredulous.

And up until very recently I had gone a lifetime without Edward Cullen. I had to be able to go one whole day, right?

Edward chose that moment to trail his fingers slowly down my spine, his breath hot against my ear, "Shall I tell you how much I will miss you?" I was lightheaded. My knees were weak. "How much I'll miss this," he added, stopping and kissing me, his mouth burning, consuming my own. I moaned pornographically against his lips, his fingers pressing my heated sex through my jeans.

I would never make it twenty-four hours.

Disclaimer - I do not own Twilight. Only this particular story.


	12. I'll Be Yours

Chapter 12 – I'll Be Yours

EPOV

"I think you should introduce me to your brother."

Bella lifted a shapely brow, glancing at me from where she lay, naked and glorious, on her bedroom floor. My hand drifted over and through her thick chestnut waves, playing with her hair, wrapping it around my fingers.

"He already knows you," she reminded me. "It's hard to forget your little sister's vampire stalker." My girl loved to tease me, to taunt. "I mean, you did expose yourself to him." A sigh, "And you uprooted a good portion of the bushes in his backyard. With your bare hands. While watching me undress. That was bound to make an impression."

I waved her off as her little pink tongue darted out to swipe across my nipple, distracting me. "As your boyfriend, I mean."

Bella stared at me suspiciously. Her mind working furiously. She did know that I was her boyfriend, right? But when she spoke next it was with amusement. "Edward, you're over one-hundred years old. And I'm nearly fifty. And you want to introduce yourself as my boyfriend?"

"Isn't that customary? Courtship, exclusivity, then marriage?" I asked her, my tone innocent as I watched her, waiting.

Bella coughed, surprised. "Marriage? I'm only fifteen!"

"Well, technically. According to your forged birth certificate."

"And we've only know each another for two weeks."

"I've known you since the first time I caught your scent almost thirty years ago. And I have loved you from that day to this one."

Her face was soft, beautiful, graceful. My thumb traced a line from the shell of her perfect ear, down her cheek and to her full lips. "Oh, Edward." She leaned in, kissed me, and I rolled us over so that she sat aside me.

When Bella pulled away, her hands pressed firmly against my chest, I asked, "So, will you tell Charlie that I'm your boyfriend now or not?"

"It's a rather loose interpretation of the word 'boy,' and you're something far more to me than just that," her fingertips slipped into my hair, stroking it back and away from my face, making me want to purr like a cat. "But as I don't want to share all of the gory details with my brother, I think such an introduction can be arranged."

I reached forward, tapping her chin up, and gazed into her angelic face; the dark purple bruises under the her eyes, the exquisite shape of her mouth, that little nose, and I was lost. "I'm yours, Bella. For as long as you want me to be."

"I'll always want you," she replied, leaning in, our foreheads touching. "Forever."

My palms skimmed along her sides, up to the mounds of her breasts, down, and around those gently curved hips, pulling her against my erection. "Again?" she grinned. I was insatiable. And it was all her fault. But still she mocked me.

With a growl I flipped us, Bella landing on her back. The floorboards creaked but we were learning; nothing shattered or even cracked. "This is what you do to me," I breathed beside her ear. Her hands were still against my chest, trapped between our bodies. Before she could do anything to free herself I reached out and captured her wrists, dragging them up and above her head, holding her in place, where I wanted her. But she didn't struggle, only wiggled and squirmed until my dick was nestled firmly against her. She was a wanton woman and I had made her that way. And I was pretty fucking proud of myself. "Harlot." She smirked in return, one leg wrapping around my thigh, keeping my leg in place while the other found my waist. Even as I tried to dominate her she managed to enthrall me. Accepting me, my needs, and allowing me to fulfill hers.

"Edward," she pleaded, lifting her hips and I was helpless but to comply. The one day we had spent apart during the week had done a number on us both. We had barely been clothed since I returned. The trip had been successful in the fact that I had fought a Mountain lion, fed, enjoyed the hunt. But I could think of nothing but Bella. Her eyes, her laugh, her quivering pussy clamping down on my cock. Emmett had not helped, asking ridiculous question after ridiculous question. And all of them having to do with Bella's anatomy and my sudden penchant for wearing sticks in my hair and having mud on my knees.

The sun's rays were incapable of breaking through the thick gray cloud cover that afternoon as Bella and I entertained ourselves in my room. We had hunted, gorged ourselves and returned to my home, which was an interesting alteration to our routine. Alice had begun to complain that I was keeping Bella all to myself and how were they supposed to become best friends if they never got to spend any time together. I had no answer. And then Esme had joined in the discussion, agreeing with my sister that it would ne nice to see Bella now and again. She wanted to get to know her. The girl who had so completely captured my heart. So I had complied; requesting that Bella spend some time with my family and I at our house that day.

"Did Carlisle make you?" Bella asked without warning or ceremony.

The question caught me off guard. We had yet to discuss much about my past. And she had only divulged pieces of her own. For the millionth time I groaned internally, beyond frustrated with the fact that I could not read her thoughts. How did regular people, or even regular vampires, survive day to day never knowing what others were truly thinking? Bella claimed that she always told me the truth, but she edited. And it was the things that she was leaving out that I was desperate to know.

"Yes," I replied finally, nodding. We were curled together on my large leather sofa. Clothes on. Just talking. Speaking with Bella, picking her brain, was almost as sweet, as satisfying, as fucking her. Almost. "When the influenza epidemic hit, Carlisle was working nights in a hospital in Chicago. He had been turning over the idea of changing someone, finding a companion, for some years. He was very lonely. For years he had interacted with humans but avoided familiarity, afraid of being discovered or hurting someone."

Bella sighed, glancing up at the ceiling and nibbling on her lower lip. "I know how that feels." I had forgotten that she too had been so alone for so long. I had always known companionship in this life; even during my wild years I had known that Carlisle and Esme were there, waiting for me to return to them one day.

I cleared my throat, unsure whether the angel beside me intended to continue but she remained silent so I said, "He wasn't absolutely sure how his own transformation had occurred, so he was hesitant. And he was loath to steal anyone's life the way his had been stolen. It was in that frame of mind that he found me. There was no hope; I had been left to die. My parents were already gone. I was alone in the world. So he decided to try," my voice trailed off. Bella was just staring upward with unseeing eyes, her chest still, like a corpse. I wondered what images filled her mind. Had she been by herself at the end? Dying with no one to comfort her? Or had she been like Carlisle, taken?

I waited, twining my fingers with Bella's, holding her close, inhaling the scent of her hair.

"Have you always stayed with Carlisle?"

"Almost," I sighed. If that particular line of questioning progressed I would be forced to tell her what I had done, who I had been in the past. I should have told her already, revealed my true nature after her own confession of murder and guilt. But I was repulsed by my behavior. Bella's had been understandable. She had likely known no other way. And as for the slip-ups, we had all made them. Outside of Carlisle and Rosalie.

Resting my free hand on her hip I admitted, "I had a rather typical bout of rebellious adolescence. About ten years after I was born to this life I went off on my own for the first time."

"Really?" she was intrigued. "And you fed from humans?"

"I did. I could try and pretend that I was very noble about it. Listening in on their thoughts, choosing those humans who were as monstrous as myself but that would not be entirely true. I wanted their blood. The hot rush of it, the fulfillment, the satisfaction one can only get from human blood. It was like a drug. Once it had touched my lips I could think of nothing else." Bella's face was so close to my own that our noses bumped as she shifted. I knew that our vegetarian lifestyle was still difficult for her, that she struggled, but she was so incredibly good at it. She had been at it less time than Jasper and had coped far better. She was amazing. Bella shined at everything she did.

Closing my eyes, picturing their faces, the ones indelibly burned into my memory, I went on. "It took me only a few years to return to Carlisle and recommit to his vision. I saw only the monster in my eyes then, their crimson color reminding me of each and every transgression. My parents welcomed me back like the prodigal son. It was more than I deserved."

Bella merely nodded, her face gorgeously pale in the soft gray light of the room. Her eyes were distant and her expression was sad. "What is it?" I asked. "What are you thinking?"

There was a long, seemingly endless pause, as she gathered her thoughts, her self. "It's only," she began, brow wrinkling in the most adorable way, "it must have been nice to have people, a maker, I mean. A family. I just," she shrugged, wrapping a sweet smelling lock of hair around her finger, "never had anything like that. All I have ever had was Charlie. And for years I was forced to stay away from him for his own safety."

I wanted more. If she was opening up, I wanted to know everything. "We all have a maker," I told her.

"Well, whoever mine was didn't hang around to meet me," she replied, squirming, pulling away from me. I held her tighter.

"You awoke alone?" I already knew the answer and it made her that much more of an anomaly. Like Alice. But Bella was unable to see the future, the life that awaited her. She could so easily have turned into a total savage.

"I did." She breathed deep, her face set and stony. I waited in agony, I knew it was coming, her story. That Bella was entrusting her past to me. "I was in a basement, maybe a root cellar. The walls were cut stone but the floor was packed earth. It smelled dank and abandoned. I remember lying there, confused, staring up into the beams of moonlight that fell through the cracks in the floorboards above me, the dust swirling through the light, dancing, and wondering how I had gotten there. How I could see so well in the dark." Her gaze would not meet my own but she continued. "My throat burned but I felt stronger than I had ever felt. I had no idea how long I had been there or even where there was. And all of that, everything I thought, ran through my mind at lightening speed. Within minutes of waking I was up, out the door, and running through the woods, heading toward Oregon. To my brother, my parent's house, the life that I had known. Somehow though I already knew that it would never be my life again."

"But," I paused, "where were you?" Had she lived somewhere other than Oregon as a human girl? She hadn't mentioned another home.

"I was at college, at Berkley, when I was changed. It was only my second semester," she lifted her shoulder helplessly. "I don't really remember it. That part of my life is so hazy. I want to see it but I can't, it's just scattered images, and nothingness." I stared at her, desperate to know more. To understand. "I have no recollections of another vampire, my maker or otherwise. But why just take me? Who was I? And why just cast me aside? Throw me away? For years I thought I must have been defective. Or maybe," she scrunched up her nose, delicate brows drawn in, "something happened."

Bella was remembering something, a piece of information buried for years. Those first turbulent hours, days even, can be hectic, confusing, and things, moments were easily lost or cast aside. It was so overwhelming.

"The basement, the whole house really, had this peculiar odor. Like burnt metal, you know? Like a car engine that was about to overheat," she shook her head, frustrated. "Fuck, I don't know. But I could have sworn, later, that I smelled it again. In New York. In an abandoned building where this gang of young vampires cornered me."

"What?" I nearly exploded. This fact as well was entirely new to me.

"It was so long ago, I was still very young. They herded me, cornered me, in a warehouse. I had been leaving town. They were," Bella thought about it, "trouble. Killing indiscriminately and people were starting to notice. I mean, New York was a dangerous city in the eighties. A lot of people died, went missing, no one cared. But if you killed the wrong people then you were on the radar. There were whispers about killing sprees, maniacs, gangs. The humans were afraid and I did not want to be there when the problem was," she turned to look at me, eyes serious, "taken care of."

"Volturri." She bit her lip, nodding her ascent.

Another shrug. "I don't know what else to say, Edward. I know that you're curious. I don't need the ability to read minds to know that. Carlisle, I imagine, is as well." And she was correct. On both counts. My father had been sitting perfectly still, in his office one floor below, listening intently to our conversation. His mind was rushing with as many unanswered questions as my own.

I knew the rest of Bella's story, at least the edited version. She had told me of her multiple returns to Charlie, her desperation for companionship, and her fear of others of our kind.

Running my palm over my face and through my hair I sighed, wanting to weep for Bella, for her creation and subsequent neglect. Why had she been made only to be left behind? How could they have done such a thing? And how had the same thing happened to Alice more than fifty years before? Somehow, through one miracle or another, both women had turned out fine, wonderful even, breathtaking, intelligent. And they had found us.

"I love you, Bella Swan," I whispered, lips brushing hers.

She tilted her head, studying me, bruised but beautiful amber eyes seeing right through me into my blackened soul. "I love you too."

"Promise me," I rushed, eyes closed, "you'll never leave me."

Bella did not reply but her answering desperate kiss said what her words could not.

A moment later there was a light knock on the door. "Can we come in?" a melodic voice sounded from the hall.

With reluctance Bella and I broke apart; she struggled to free herself yet again, one hand patting down her disheveled hair, but I kept my arm around her, bringing us into a sitting position so that Bella sat on my lap, back firmly against my unbeating heart as her ass pressed down into my straining erection. I answered, "Of course," attempting to control my annoyance.

Fucking Alice. She refused to wait another minute to be best friends with Bella. _Give me a turn, Edward! You can't keep her all to yourself forever._ My sister, grinning rather obnoxiously and followed immediately by Jasper, opened the door and stepped into the room. She walked, almost dancing in her excitement, to the center of the room, where she folded herself sinuously onto the floor. Jasper shook his head, shot me a pointed look, smiled then flashed a poorly hidden thumbs up. Bella rolled her eyes as Alice giggled.

"We didn't want to interrupt before, when you were talking," Bella glanced out the window briefly then looked back to the pixie seated before her, "but once, you know, you stopped, Jasper and I just couldn't wait to come and talk to Bella!"

Jasper shrugged, offering me something of a silent apology at not being able to deny his mate anything, and joined her on the floor. "Actually," he smiled in spite of himself, "Alice says there's going to be a real storm tonight, and Emmett wants to play ball. Are you game?"

"Ball?" the girl intentionally squirming on my cock, making me even more uncomfortable and horny, asked, confused and looking from me to our companions.

I was thrilled. "Do you want to go?"

"Uh, sure?" It was more a question that a statement.

"When it thunders we like to get out the old bat and ball and play a few innings of baseball," Alice informed. Bella's face brightened with both understanding and excitement. "Let's go see if Carlisle will come." My sister bounded up and to the door.

"Like you don't already know," Jasper teased her as they made a swift exit. Alice turned to stick her tongue out at him.

"See you tonight, Bella! You're going to be on my team. I saw it. So wear blue." And with that they were gone, the door closing inconspicuously behind them.

"You like baseball," I smirked.

"It's the American pastime," Bella answered with mock solemnity.

The lecherous expression on my face must have warned her what was coming. "Then let me show you how good I am at rounding the bases," my fingers were already brushing the supple, cool skin of her torso, lifting the lavender cashmere sweater she wore.

Bella howled with laughter, snorting, then gasped, covering her mouth in a mixture of glee and embarrassment. "God, that was terrible."

"And yet I do not see you protesting." My hands were cupping her bare breasts. Bella was keening and rocking against me before my hands slipped into her skintight dark jeans and I groaned.

Bella allowed me to walk her back to the house she shared with her brother but once we reached the line of evergreens that hemmed in their property she insisted, "Stay here." I tried to argue. She had promised to tell Charlie about us, finally dropping the charade of keeping our relationship a secret.

"Look, I need to ease him into the idea, Edward. He is not good with change. Give me, I don't know," she gestured helplessly, "fifteen minutes. Then you can knock on the door and I will introduce you properly. Okay?" I grinned. Bella's face however was grim, set in stone. "Stay," she ordered. I froze in place, not moving a muscle, a statue in her garden. And finally she cracked a smile.

I could see Charlie through the kitchen window as Bella let herself in; he was putting fish in the freezer. I wrinkled my nose in disgust. Human's food was like dirt to us; the smell was far from appetizing.

"Hi there, Bella!" he called, pleased to see her. "What did you do with yourself today?"

"Oh, the usual. Hung around the house, some laundry, some reading. I hunted."

Hidden behind my appointed evergreen I rolled my eyes and whispered, "Liar."

My girl shot an annoyed look in my direction and with a sigh she added, "And this afternoon I went over to the Cullen's." Charlie's beer froze half way to his mouth. Bella pretended not to notice.

When he had recovered his power of speech her brother stuttered, "That freaky vampire group?"

"They're a family, Charlie. And they're nice. Certainly no freakier than I am."

"I see," he answered gruffly.

I coughed, still frozen in place, acting the part of the good boy, but Bella needed to get to the fucking point. Or I was just going to barge into that kitchen, sweep her up in my arms, lay her on the table, and kiss her until she was mewling for more. That would give her brother an eyeful. And get things out in the open too.

"Alright," she seethed quietly, the word too fast and low for her brother's ears. "Well, I'm kind of dating Edward Cullen." Triumph. It felt amazing.

Charlie however was clearly feeling a very different emotion. In fact, he appeared to be having some sort of aneurysm. I was very nearly worried about him.

"You're going out with that boy?" He boomed. "The pervert from the bushes?"

Bella bit her lip, trying to hide a smile. Whether she was trying to keep from laughing about my stalking, the full extent of it, which her brother was totally unaware of, or the strangeness of calling me a boy. I was old enough to be Charlie Swan's grandfather. I was however forced to admit that Charlie did make a point; I had made some serious judgment errors while wooing his sister.

"He's not that bad, Charlie. You just need to get to know him." I sighed, Bella was not really helping my situation or building my confidence. Charlie scoffed. "And anyway, he's coming over."

"What?"

"He'll be here in a few minutes."

"And what exactly am I supposed to do? Just invite him in? Grant him full access to my baby sister?" Bella opened her mouth but he cut her off, "I know! You're a grown woman. But that boy, man, whatever you want to call him, he's dangerous Bella. And he only has one thing on his mind."

"Oh, god," she groaned and I decided I could not hide there, cowering, for another moment. Charlie had, for the second time, hit the preverbal nail on the head. I did have only one thing on my mind: fucking his sister. I wanted her forward and backward. Bouncing up and down on my cock. I wanted her little pink nipples in my mouth. Her lips on my neck. And I was hard, so fucking hard. But I loved Bella. She was mine, we belonged together, and I needed to make him understand that. I was a lecherous pig but I would die for her. That had to mean something.

I stepped out into the light misting rain, moving swiftly around the house and arrived on the front porch where I calmly rang the doorbell. Immediately I heard Charlie stalking toward me. I shook out my hair, attempting to dry off, to pull myself together, and adjusted my jeans one more time, hoping to hide the evidence of my affections.

There was a moment of silence after the door was opened, Charlie Swan and I gazing dispassionately at one another, Bella watching from behind, a curl of chestnut hair in her hand. After clearing his throat and seemingly making up his mind, I was invited in. "Come on in, Edward." Bella breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank you, Chief Swan."

"So, where exactly are you planning to take my sister this evening?" We all stood awkwardly in the foyer.

"My family is playing a game of baseball and we have asked Bella to join. She will even up the teams." I winked at the girl in question making one side of her face twitch, possibly in annoyance but hopefully in amusement.

"Vampires play baseball?" He asked finally. But before I could answer he turned to his sister. "You play baseball?" She shrugged. "You must really like this guy. I've never seen you show an interest in sports in your entire life." And chuckled.

Bella rolled her eyes heaven word, biting her lip, and cried, "Charlie!" in exasperation. "I think that is enough humor at my expense. Let's go." Grabbing a hunter green, waxed rain jacket Bella hurried toward the door.

"Don't worry, sir. I'll have her home early," I promised with all sincerity. And then I would sneak right back in through Bella's window, drag her outside, and fuck her in the meadow, keeping her out and with me all night. But that information was on a need to know basis.

"You take care of my girl, all right?" He added gruffly. The man really did love his sister. And I admired that. She was a vampire, a killer, but there was a human man who still loved her enough to act like she was a fifteen year old girl going out on her first date.

"She'll be safe with me. Always." Bella was out the door and I followed her, taking her hand in my own. "Shall we?" And with that we took off into the woods. Bella outpaced me, sprinting and jumping, spinning around to smile in my direction before taking off again. Her ass looked ripe and delicious from my vantage so I wasn't complaining.

We walked the last few feet, moving effortlessly through the tall, wet ferns and draping moss, around a massive hemlock tree, and we were there, on the edge of an enormous open field in the lap of the Olympic peaks. It was easily twice the size of any baseball stadium. My family was already there. Esme smiled, waving to us as we approached. Emmett and Rosalie appeared to be having a quiet but heated exchange. Jasper and Alice played a game of toss, the ball moving so swiftly through the air that no human eye would have been able to see it. And Carlisle was busy marking the bases. He glanced up when he heard us and called the group together.

"It's time," Alice announced, dancing across the field.

"Time?" Bella inquired. But as she asked a deep rumble of thunder shook the forest beyond and then crashed westward toward town. She smiled. The noise would cover our playing, and we could truly enjoy ourselves; showing off our abilities without fear of discovery.

Emmett winked at Bella, smirking. She gazed back in confusion. _We already picked teams, Bro. And Bella's on ours. You're not. Ha! _"Prepare to be dominated!" He said aloud for the benefit of all.

"Let's go." Alice reached for Bella's hand, "You're with us!" The two of them, accompanied by Emmett, darted toward the field; Bella running fast as a gazelle.

"Bella really is very fast, isn't she?" My mother smiled beside me. I sighed. I was perhaps going to have to work harder for my win than I had suspected. "She is a truly lovely young woman, Edward." _You were the first of my new sons. And I have always loved you so dearly. You were the odd man out for far too long; it hurt me to see you alone._

I put an arm around her shoulders, hugged her, "Thank you." Her smile only grew wider.

"Now, go join your team." And I did, running for home plate, where Jasper was holding out an aluminum bat for me. "All right. Batter up!"

Alice was pitching. She was by far the best, graceful, quick, determined. Her style was more stealth than power. Holding the ball in both hands at her waist, and then, like the strike of a cobra, her right hand flicked out and the ball shot toward me. I didn't hit it and a strike was called. Carlisle, playing catcher for both teams that evening, hurled the ball back to my sister's waiting hand. She grinned at me, I flipped her the bird, and then her hand shot forward again. That time the bat connected, smashing into the ball with a thunderous boom, before it went sailing deep into the surrounding forest.

I ran as fast as I could, knowing that Bella was out there. I had not caught sight of her since my swing. She had been watching me, the ball, intently.

"Out!" Esme called from behind me, I was nearly around third base, but there was Bella springing from the fringe of trees, ball clasped in her upraised hand. And she was grinning ear to ear. Alice and Emmett whooped for joy. I trudged, disappointed back to home, where Rosalie grumbled. Looking back to my girl I watched her getting high-fives, making jokes with my siblings, and when she caught my gaze she sent a kiss my way. My annoyance at being bested dissipated instantly.

We were barely into the third inning; Emmett was up to bat, when Alice suddenly gasped. I snapped my head up to look at her. She had seen a trio of vampires, red eyed, moving through our territory.

"I didn't see. I couldn't tell. Everything has been muddled," she whispered.

The others gathered around us and I pulled Bella to me with an intensity, a ferocity, which obviously made her nervous. "What is it, Edward? What's happening?"

Alice turned to Jasper, "They heard us playing and it changed their path."

"Are they a threat?" I asked.

"Other vampires on our lands are always a threat," Rosalie hissed.

Carlisle was more practical, "How soon?"

"Less than five minutes. They're running. They want to play." Our father scowled.

Bella turned in my arms; I was gripping her so hard that I would have left bruises had she not been made of marble. "Edward, it's alright. I've met a lot of us as I traveled. They're probably just hunting. I'm sure it's perfectly safe. You don't need to worry about me." Her lips touched the corner of my mouth, her hand running sedately, calmingly, through my tangled hair.

And maybe she had a point but for the first time I truly understood Jasper's complete and utterly uncontrollable urge to protect Alice. Your mate came first, everything else came second. There was no such thing as too careful.

"How many are there?"

"Three."

Carlisle deliberated, mentally weighing our options, the possible outcomes, and then said, his decision made, "Let's just continue the game."

And we did. Emmett took his turn, then Bella. Finally Alice struck out and we were preparing to change positions. I had been listening but had been unable to catch a sound from their thoughts. They were still too far. And I did not know their voices. I wanted to take Bella and flee. She was mine. Every member of my family knew it but who were these people? Our bond was new. And I did not want to share her with anyone else. More of our kind would be a distraction. And what if Bella did know them? From her travels. They could encourage her to leave.

"What's wrong?" the girl of my every waking thought asked, approaching quietly.

I shrugged, waved my hand toward the trees, and sitting sedately on a nearby stone.

"I'm not going anywhere, Edward." My eyes shot to hers. How had she known exactly what I had been thinking? Tilting her head to one side she lifted her lips in a half smile. "Your fears are written all over your face. You look heartbroken." She stepped between my parted thighs, placing her small, delicate hands on my chest, and kissed me, deep and full, our tongues battling as I held her waist, drew her closer. When we broke apart she was fingering the raised scar on her neck, "I'm yours. Only yours."

Before I could respond I heard them, they were approaching on the right side of the field. I did not let Bella go, keeping her close to me, as we joined the rest of my family. They too had turned in that direction, watching, waiting.

When they appeared, two men and a woman, we closed ranks. It was better to show a good offense than to need a good defense. Their group also pulled together; the red haired woman and the blond man falling behind their third. These were killers. Predatory, cat-like, their red eyes blazed at us from across the clearing.

"We thought we heard a game," called the olive-skinned man standing closest to us. He smiled, relaxing, and his companions did the same. "I am Laurent, these are Victoria and James. We mean you no harm." Nothing in his mind made me think his statement false.

"Hello," Carlisle replied, stepping forward flanked by Emmett and Jasper. "We are the Cullen's," he waved a hand toward the group of us, deliberately not calling attention to individuals. "And I'm afraid that we were just finishing up. But we would certainly be interested in playing another time. Are you planning to stay in the area for long." My father was a master of words; getting the information he wished without revealing his hand.

Thankfully, they had no intention of staying, they were merely passing through on their way north to better hunting grounds. Their leader informed us, "We've been on the hunt all the way down from the Northern Territories," and he gestured in the direction of the Canadian border. Bella cocked her head to the side, suddenly serious, and studied the vampires before us more intently. She had said nothing to imply that she had ever met any of them previously. "We haven't run into any company in a long time," the man smiled, his burgundy eyes bright.

I moved through their thoughts one by one. Laurent was simply happy for more company; he was tiring of his companions. Victoria studied each of us, her mind sharp, aggressive. She did not like us, especially our amber colored eyes. Finally James, his mind was a jumble. It jumped from place to place: an icy tundra, a primordial forest, the sea, dark skies and an empty farmhouse, a haunting red brick building, and city after city.

Alice shifted toward Bella, her fingers reaching to take the hand that I had left free. My sister's mind was a riot of emotions: uneasy and nervous, she did not want the three to follow us home. _Bella needs to leave. I want to go. Take us home, Edward._

Why did Bella need to go? Alice had seen nothing in particular; I was scanning her thoughts as well. But when it came to Bella she was at a disadvantage. So I turned, the three of us making our way toward the trees, the slope that would lead us away from the others and back toward Forks.

_She's mine. Mine. Mine! _Someone seethed from behind. I did not know the voice. It had to be James. _Fuck him. Where the fuck does he think he's going with her_. I had both Bella and Alice with me. They were both women. But neither of them belonged to that piece of shit. I tugged at Bella's arm, dragging both she and Alice, they caught the strangled look on my face and quickened their pace accordingly.

As we crossed the tree line I whispered, "Run. Run now!" And they took off ahead of me, Alice staring over her shoulder, searching for Jasper, as Bella, stunned and bewildered, gazed back at me, biting her lip but never slowing.

When we were off the peak, sprinting down the dirt path worn by Jeeps and 4x4s, Alice demanded, "What the hell, Edward? You're scaring us. What's going on?"

"I saw his mind. He's a tracker. It's his obsession. What he lives for. And he wants Bella." I had seen her face clearly in his mind. It was my mate he wanted, not Jasper's.

"What?" Bella roared, falling back to move beside me. "Why?" She snarled, teeth bared.

"He's a sick, delusional fucker," I let out between clenched teeth. "He believes you to be his, that he has a claim on you. He wants you."

"But I've never seen him before in my life!" She was incredulous.

Alice was stared from Bella and back to me, anxious, and unable to pinpoint a future that would stay put. Too many minds were unmade; there were too many variables. But one thing did come to her. "The hunt begins tonight."

"The hunt? But," Bella was lost, she stopped running entirely.

"What are you doing," I yelled, grabbing her arm, trying to force her to move, but she struggled against me, unwilling to go farther without further explanation.

"Bella, baby," I kissed her cheek, her lips, "his mind is made up. I don't know his plan. But he wants you and tonight he intends to take you."

She was silent, her eyes scanning my face, before she finally asked, "Take me how? In what way?"

Alice's eyes were focusing and unfocusing in rapid succession. "We need to go. He's going into town. How long before he picks up Bella's scent there?"

And then Bella was sprinting, flying, leaving us in her wake, unable to keep up. "Bella," I called, panic overtaking my voice.

"Charlie! My brother! He's at our house." She was gasping, fear lacing every word she spoke. "I can't leave him undefended. He needs me. I'm sorry, Edward. I'm so sorry." And Bella turned then, her face broken and filled with sorrow. "He's my family," she whispered, "you have to understand." With one last long look she disappeared, phasing out of our range of vision. Bella was gone.

"No!" I screamed, running hard, faster.

_Edward!_

"Edward!" Alice caught my arm in a vice-like grip, swinging me around to face her. "You have to let her go to him. It's what she wants. You won't be able to stop her." I could see in Alice's mind that she was correct.

"I can't just let her go," I told her, voice hollow.

"You aren't letting her go, Edward. We'll go home. We'll get Emmett and Jasper and then we'll go to the Swan's house. We can protect Bella and Charlie. They're part of this family and we do what we have to do to protect family." I swallowed, breathed. "Bella will still be there in fifteen minutes. She's not going anywhere." So we went home.

A/N - Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Two left to go. I have appreciated the reviews. And I am so happy people are still reading this story. So thank you!

Disclaimer - I do not own Twilight. Stephanie Meyer does. Only this story is mine.


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